questions to ask yourself before living together
Settling together under the same roof is an important step for the couple. By crossing this milestone, we formalize our commitment and we embark above all on the adventure of living together on a daily basis. Alarm clocks, evenings, nights, meals, weekends, and all that this entails of obligations, organization and projects. Obviously, this does not mean doing everything together and being glued H24, but it would be a lie to say that living together will not change anything in your way of life, your rhythm, your habits.
Is this the next step in your relationship? Is this project under consideration or in progress? What are the 12 essential questions to ask yourself before living together? To be sure of your choice, this is what you should ask yourself before sharing the same address!
12 questions to ask yourself before living together
#1 Do you really want it?
Stupid but essential question to ask before any other, is it your dearest wish to live with your darling? Do you really want to live under the same roof and therefore to engage further in your relationship? In your soul and conscience (and with your heart, of course)?
#2 Is this the right time?
Do you think the timing of both of you is right? Timely, ideal? It’s up to you to see, according to your story, if it’s not too soon, if you don’t burn steps. Perhaps on the contrary, it is high time to cross this milestone in order to make your couple evolve. So, verdict?
#3 Is this your personal choice?
By this, is it your partner who blew you the idea or who insists? For your part, you would wait a little longer or not? To make the choice to settle together, does it respond to any social or family pressure? Societal even, to tell you that we must “do like everyone else”?
#4 Do you really like Him? One of the questions to ask yourself before living together
By this, we mean to love him entirely, with his qualities but especially his defects, his manias, his whims, his phobias… Is your love for him strong enough to envision living together? What deeply annoys you about her or about him, are you able to endure it on a daily basis without it damaging your feelings?
#5 Do you project yourself with her/him into the future?
Do you share common couple projects, a vision of the couple and the future compatible? If one dreams of marriage and baby and the other of travels around the world, if one sees only through work and the other only through family life… Or if you are simply unable to imagine yourself in his company in a year, 3 or 5, you may need to review your answers to the previous questions before making your boxes!
#6 Do you imagine everyday life in the same way?
You dream of snubbing in his arms every night, breakfasts in bed, hugs under the duvet, cocooning evenings on the sofa . This is obviously what makes you dream, but it is not what makes all the daily life of a couple. If you are a homemaker while the other is a partygoer, if you imagine the daily life made of shared dinners while he is all the time in after work. Or if you are diaper-early and your partner layer-late… So many things, which put end to end on a daily basis, risk highlighting your incompatibilities rather than your common points.
6 other questions to ask yourself before living together
#7 Did you mention the pragmatic issues?
And what about the concrete daily life, you know these famous pragmatic questions from which we cannot escape. These topics represent the most common causes of couple disputes, so be sure to agree quickly on them. So how do you see the sharing of household chores, meals, shopping? Do you have the same tastes when it comes to decoration? Is there one rather manic and the other bordelic?
#8 What about money? One of the questions to ask yourself before living together
This is a sensitive issue for some people and therefore deserves to be resolved before they even move in together. How will you manage common expenses? Do you plan to open a joint account? Will one pay the rent and the other the charges and groceries for example? If this question looks out of place for many, it is definitely worth asking and resolved so that you can start on a sound and serene basis.
#9 Are your rhythms of life compatible?
We can live together very well and not have exactly the same rhythm of life. Many couples live in staggered especially the week because of the hours of work, night, 3/8 and weekends also. This does not prevent a couple from working. But for this, you have to find your rhythm and above all make it compatible with the rest. Your sleep rhythm, your personal activities such as sports, your sacred outings with friends or between friends on Friday evening … The goal is to find quality time for your couple under the same roof.
#10 Are you afraid of routine?
Do you feel anxious about settling into a daily routine or, on the contrary, does it reassure you? If you want to share all the little things of life together, then everything is fine. If on the contrary the routine terrifies you, it is up to you to do everything so that it does not become boredom and to put spice in your life as a couple.
#11 Are you ready to make concessions and compromises?
Who says couple life, necessarily says concessions and compromise. Even if you have a lot in common, shared tastes, that you argue little, not everything can be perfectly smooth. And so much the better, if not what a boredom! Your partner necessarily has a character trait, a habit, a taste for something in particular that annoys you or that you do not like. It’s up to you to know how to distinguish between things that are not very important in order to maintain a good understanding between you.
#12 And to be accountable? One of the basic questions to ask yourself before living together
Unless you have chosen to be a totally free couple or to live in a flatshare, living as a couple assumes certain rules of life. Not constraints, let us say obligations that seem logical; otherwise, what is the point of living together? So do you agree with the idea of telling your partner if you’re coming in later than expected, where you’re, when you’re going out, etc.? It is not a question of no longer having a life of your own or a secret garden, but of being accountable so that one does not wait for the other in vain at home…
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