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20 years of age difference in a couple

Can we say that love has no age or on the contrary can the age difference be a brake on the couple? Couples with a big age difference, it is more and more common. Yet, when it comes to age, sincerity seems to be called into question. Does a younger woman only look for money or the image of the father? If she’s older, isn’t she a cougar? Conversely, isn’t a man younger than his wife a gigolo? Or maybe he didn’t settle his Oedipus complex? These are all questions that still arise. Couples who love each other despite 10 or 20 years apart it really exists.

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20 years of age difference in a couple: a positive testimony

I met my husband at the dawn of my 20th birthday and he was a future quadragenaire in power. Today I am 30 years old and he has exceeded 48,we celebrated our 10 years as a couple last year, our 6 years of marriage and we are lucky to have a nice family with twins of 5 years.

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Our history is quite banal, from a beautiful meeting was born a union and a family life. Besides for me as for him, we are a couple all that there is of the most normal. We have loved each other for over 10 years and age has never been an issue for us.

After, we’re not going to lie, he was obviously a source of gossip and questions for some people.

When you are a young woman barely 20 years old, you are asked why you are attracted to a 40-year-old man…

Personally, I do not have an answer to this question and I have never felt the need to find one, to justify my couple, our love. Indeed, for me age has never mattered. It may seem totally hypocritical to you to say that, but it is nevertheless a truth.

20 years of age difference in a couple: I never asked myself the question like this

I did not choose my husband because he was 40 years old and I believe that if he had had ten less, it would have been the same thing. I chose him because it was him, that’s how it is, it can’t be explained. Maybe his experience, his maturity made me fall in love with him but I am not formatted and predestined to be with an older man. And then, is there an ideal age difference in a coupleNothing is less certain!

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I had had boyfriends my age before, my parents don’t have a big age difference, my friends didn’t necessarily associate with older men.

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In short, nothing in my environment dedicated me to making my life with a man almost 20 years older than me.

I did not ask myself the question, love decided for me,period. For him, it was the same thing. He was approaching 40 years old and of course he had had women in his life. He had even tried the life of a couple with a woman barely 5 years younger than him with whom he lived a few years.

Only their paths separated and I entered his life a little by chance. He had not premeditated anything for himself or for me, he also asked himself many more questions than I did.

When we fell in love, he was afraid of being judged and seen as a pervert, a man who loves young people as they say. But it quickly passed.

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20 years of age difference in a couple: do not give importance to judgments

If I write this testimony today, this positive testimony about the age difference, it is because it is what I live on a daily basis. I have never paid too much attention to the eyes of others and if there is judgment, I do not attach any importance to it.

Our families and friends never tried to convince us that we were making a mistake. Of course when I met him at the age of 20 I will not hide from you that I had a conversation with my parents, especially with my mother. The maternal instinct is stronger than anything, I know it today I am a mother. But we had a discussion and not an explanation or a confrontation.

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From the moment I officially introduced my darling to my parents, he was accepted as my lover and then my husband.

That his age was closer to that of my parents than mine was never a problem.

The question of maturity due to our age difference has not been an obstacle for these 10 years. Of course I’m younger, so my husband has a more important experience than mine, it makes sense. But it is a strength for us and not an obstacle, especially not a barrier. We built our love, our lives with this age difference. It has never seemed to us to be an insurmountable border.

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Since we were parents, I have had the impression that the age difference has been completely erased. We were young parents at the same time. Just because I was a mother at 25 for the first time when he was already 43 doesn’t mean we experienced things differently. On the contrary, it has put us on an equal footing.

If our couple was already strong and our love real, building our family only strengthened our bonds and totally knocked down this pseudo barrier of age difference.

However, I am not going to say that it is easy for everyone, that there are never reflections, croid glances or whispered words. Nor am I saying that families accept everything easily, that there are not indiscreet questions. We know couple problems like everyone else, arguments, reproaches and routine of course but it is not related to our age.

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20 years of age difference in a couple: a difference like any other

Of course, it exists but that’s a universal truth, no matter the difference in a couple. Whether it was the age – if I had been 40 years old and he 20 it would have been maybe even worse – the culture, the skin color, the religion in short any difference challenges and sometimes disturbs.

Not entering into the mould of this famous social norm gives rise to judgments, that is how it is, certainly to different degrees, but it is a reality.

My husband and I, we may be almost 20 years apart but it has never stopped love and it will never prevent it. Our happiness is our business, it is not the business of anyone but us, our couple and our family.

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Love obeys its own rules, they are different from one couple to another, from one story to another. No one likes in the same way, no one has the same criteria, the same requirements, the same expectations, the same desires.

I have the chance today to share my life with the man I love and who has loved me for more than 10 years. Our almost 20 years of gap have never been too heavy a burden to carry or a burden for us. If the age difference questions some people and is used as a pretext for judging, we do not care. We are too busy loving each other!

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