past relationship trauma
Starting a relationship with someone new is tricky. Besides having to really move on , you also need to make sure there are no more traumatic feelings left. Maybe it was a relationship that previously ended badly and left a wound in the heart.
But keep in mind that to make your current romance run smoothly, you must first be free from the past. Well, now try to check whether the five signs below are on you or not. Because if you do, that means you still have feelings of trauma due to the failure of the previous relationship.
1. Assuming all of the opposite sex is the same as the former (past relationship trauma)
It could be, this is not the first time you have a toxic relationship . Previously, you also dated a guy who likes to ‘play hands’. Every time you guys get into an argument, he never fails to land a few punches on your body. That’s why, now you think that all guys are the same. Just as rude as your exes.
In fact, this is not always the case. There must be a lot of nice men out there, who can treat you gently and with great affection. But because you are already thinking badly, it makes it hard for you to see the good side of the boys around you.
Like Parno himself when there is a opposite sex who approaches you
The aftermath of negative thoughts that all men are the same, indirectly makes you more selective in choosing your partner. Indeed, that seems commonplace. After all, almost everyone has their own criteria for their partner. But if the fall is too parno, then you will lose yourself, you know.
Because every time a boy approaches you immediately keep your distance. Though not necessarily all of their intentions are the same, that is, they want to ask you out. It could be, there are guys who just want to be friends with you. So, between being selective and shifting, there is a slight difference, right?
3. If you already have a boyfriend again, you will find it difficult to trust him
If you happen to have a boyfriend, the remaining trauma from the past will encourage you to continue to feel suspicious of him. For a day, your boyfriend won’t give you any news, surely you will immediately think about something nonsense. Either he doesn’t love you anymore or he’s secretly cheating. Understandably, before you were cheated on by your previous boyfriends.
At first, he started to rarely give news, then it turned out that he was caught walking with other girls. Maybe the current boyfriend is the same. This worry is what makes your love relationship uncomfortable. On the one hand, you continue to have feelings of suspicion, while your boyfriend feels that he has received accusations that have no proof. Just be aware that if this continues, it could be disastrous, you know.
4. You always feel pessimistic that this relationship will continue to a more serious level
Even though your current lover has shown real proof of his love, you know. During the last five years with you, he never became ambivalent. Even though there are many women out there who try to tease him. Every time you fight, he never talks harshly or even plays hands with you. Always, your boyfriend can deal with any problem with a cool head.
But in fact, the evidence is not strong enough to convince you that this relationship has a future. You even keep thinking that you won’t make it to the aisle. Just keep on being pessimistic, if something happens like you think you will regret it yourself later.
5. Every problem that occurs will remind you of the past again
The last sign is that you can’t separate the past and the present. This means that every time there is a problem with your boyfriend, it always reminds you of the incident the other day. Even though the person in front of you is not the ex. But you continue to blame yourself and feel like a failure because you don’t learn from the past. So that again they have to meet the same problem.
Meanwhile, in fact, if you want to go out with person A or person B, a similar problem can come at any time. The difference is, you are now more experienced. So it should be able to solve it easily.
Never take trauma lightly. No exception when it comes to romance. After realizing that it turns out that you still have scars from the past, it’s better to focus on healing first. It’s good to hold off on finding a new boyfriend. But if it’s already done, that means you have to fight so that the trauma will disappear immediately and don’t interfere with the current relationship. How, are you sure you really moved on from past trauma?
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