10 Things No One Tells You About Sex After Giving Birth

1. Sensitive vagina

After giving birth, your vagina can be very sensitive. Especially if you have had an episiotomy or a tear, it can take a while before you can have sex without pain. You may even think that it will never be right again down under. Don’t worry, give your body time. Most couples take four to eight weeks before they have sex again.

2. You can get pregnant

The myth that you can’t get pregnant while breastfeeding is just that: a myth. You are actually extra fertile after giving birth, so if you don’t want to have another pregnancy (yet), use contraception.

3. Leaking breasts

During sex, milk can leak or even squirt from your nipples. This is because the ‘breastfeeding hormone’ oxytocin is released during sex. A nice trick from mother nature. Very handy when breastfeeding, but less sexy during sex. So express milk first, or feed your child before having sex.

4. Dry vagina

After giving birth, your vagina may be dry. Feel free to use some lubricant to make things less rough. Is sex painful? There are other ways you can be intimate

5. The first time is scary

We can beat around the bush, but many women find the first time having sex after giving birth scary. You can compare it to losing your virginity. The most important thing is to discuss this with your partner and take it slow together. It is very important that you wait until you are ready.

Also read: How long to wait for sex after giving birth?

6. Less quickly excited

After giving birth, it is perfectly normal for your body to take longer to ‘get going’. The increased prolactin levels cause your testosterone levels to drop, making you less sensitive to sexual stimuli and your sex drive to drop. Not only that, but lack of sleep, a baby that needs your constant attention and not having time to take a proper shower certainly doesn’t help. A longer foreplay or just accepting that the situation is not so sexy for a while can help.

7. Coming feels different

An orgasm after childbirth can feel different than before. It can be painful or even feel like a contraction. This is because your uterus contracts during climax and is still very sensitive after childbirth. Fortunately, this is not harmful and will pass on its own.

8. There is no perfect time

As a new mother, the times of romantic candlelight and elaborate dining are over. There is no time to seduce each other extensively, so if you feel like it? Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Is the baby asleep? Go for it!

9. Extreme fatigue

After giving birth, you are tired. Very tired. You sleep far too little and on top of that, your body also has to recover from the birth. Not only do all the pregnancy hormones have to leave your body, but the stress of parenthood and your new life also make you tired. It makes sense that you have less desire for sex. Accept that you are more of a mother than a sex goddess for a while. Your time will come again.

Also read: Everything about your period (and contraception) after pregnancy

10. Uncertainty is normal

Your body doesn’t feel like yours after giving birth. It has changed and that can make you feel insecure. Some women have trouble with their breasts being touched during sex. It feels a bit like your breasts are now ‘your child’s’ or they are just too sensitive. Talking about this with your partner is very important.

Also read: Breasts: For the baby or for the partner?