Several times, I have been asked this question: Should I tell my friend that her husband is cheating on her? This question, I grant you, is an extremely delicate one. The answer will change depending on the relationship you have with the friend in question and also with her husband.
According to Valérie Hervo, therapist: “Infidelity is a wound, a wound that must be treated. And even when it is healed, it leaves a trace. But you know, when a scar is well healed, it doesn’t hurt anymore. »
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Should we warn a friend that her husband is cheating on her? (Adultery)
The first thing you need to have in mind, regardless of your relationship with one or the other, is that you’re going to throw a bomb into the couple. The question is: Is it really worth it?
Indeed, the most difficult thing when you are deceived is the feeling of shame, especially through the eyes of others. Thus, the more people there are aware of it, the worse the deceived person will experience treason. Adultery is much easier to deal with when he stays in the couple, even more so if it is the person who has betrayed who confesses himself.
So, if you tell your friend that her husband is cheating on her, she will unconsciously feel like she has to leave him at all costs. She might not have had that feeling if she had learned it on her own. The fact that a FRIEND tells him, shame and anger then take over.
Finally, to warn your friend that her husband is cheating on her is to take some responsibility for her future. And also, take the risk that it will fall on you one day or the other.
You could even lose your friend if her spouse is a little manipulative and he decides to play the card of the jealous best friend who invents lies to destroy the couple!
Talk together about what you think about adultery
To begin with, innocently ask your friend: “You would like to be told if Peter ever deceives you?” Give your opinion on the question “I personally, I would prefer that we be sincere with me” “I would not like to learn it at all from the mouth of a friend, these are my stories” (…).
She will give you without realizing it the directions to follow.
If it is formal and says it does not want to know, respect its choice! Not everything is always good to say or hear.
At the moment, it’s human, we want to warn our friend but do we really know what is happening in her couple? If you knew how many people are aware that their spouse/wife is cheating on them but inging in the sand. It is THEIR choice. No one has to judge them. For some even, adultery is not so serious, they see it as a simple source of carnal pleasure, nothing more.
You are as much friends with one as with the other
In that case, it is very complex. You will have to make a decision that will irremediably impact or even amputate your relationship with one or the other if not with both.
Ask yourself this question: Do I want to get involved in their relationship, in their stories? Am I willing to risk my friendship for a story that doesn’t concern me?
How long have they been together? (Adultery)
If they’ve been together for six months, I’d tend to tell you to tell your friend. What for? Because if the other fault already at the very beginning of the relationship, it does not bode well for the future.
Whereas, when it comes to a mature and solid couple, who have lived together for several years, you risk destroying a balance, a life! Is it up to you to take on this responsibility? I would have tended to say no, but that choice is entirely up to you.
According to a survey of 1,700 British women by Tombola, 71% of women would not tell a friend that her husband was cheating on her.