relationship with a narcissistic pervert
During my coaching sessions I noticed that there were 6 characteristics specific to narcissistic perverts.
1-Guilt and inversion and roles
Making you feel guilty will allow him to gain the upper hand. He is so skillful that he will be able to make you doubt your certainties. You will end up believing that you are totally at fault for what is happening to you and that your life by his side is your only chance to find happiness. (relationship with a narcissistic pervert)
In short: you feel guilty and you feel at fault… you are convinced that being with him is the best thing that can happen to you.
The particularity of the PN: With it is the triangle savior – persecutor – victim: in a discussion it can go through the three sides for the sole purpose of making you doubt yourself
2-No communication = no understanding
He is not clear or precise in his explanations: there is always a double meaning and an interpretation that leaves something to be desired. You realize that you don’t know him because his requests, needs, feelings or opinions are not clearly expressed.
He says what he wants and responds according to his good desire. It makes you doubt all the time so that you end up getting lost.
When there is dialogue and you ask for explanations,
he will often respond by saying: • “You misunderstood, I did not say things in that sense…”
• “I didn’t do that for that purpose… •
“I didn’t say it for you…” »
In short: the more you try to understand, the more you lose yourself, which leads to a total devaluation of yourself.
The particularity of the PN: It systematically puts the blame on you
3-All its justifications are logical (relationship with a narcissistic pervert)
By dint of finding yourself in front of someone who argues like a king of the bar you just feel small and unable to understand anything. You can turn and turn everything he tells you in your head you can only admit one thing: what he says is logical! In the end you can do no other than accept and lower the weapons of your thoughts. Ignorance of others is a favorable source from which he draws tirelessly to make believe in his superiority.
With it, your mind becomes confused, it turns your brain over. The expression “no longer knowing where you live” takes on its full meaning with him. The term “brainwashing” is appropriate because it seeks to shape the other according to their goals. Exacerbated narcissism, he enjoys observing how much he does what he wants with his little mouse.
In short: you end up resigned and submissive
The particularity of the PN: As soon as he opens his mouth it is too smooth, too perfect … it looks like it came out of a book.
4-Criticisms and devaluations (relationship with a narcissistic pervert)
His criticisms are of such intensity that you end up being hurt in the depths of your soul. You doubt who you are, your qualities, your desires, your own life… you are only a shadow of yourself because he makes you understand that without him you are nothing. Your esteem is only a vague memory and your life before a mirage.
In short: you resign yourself and give up
The particularity of the PN: The worse you are, the more he is relentless. There is a real pleasure in seeing you wither and become dependent on him.
5-He also manipulates others
He knows how to speak and express himself better than the average people. He is able to convince and rally anyone to his cause. If you introduce him to your surroundings you can be sure that he will use it against you. You will find yourself in unimaginable situations where your best friend will come to tell you that you are behaving badly in your relationship.
He has no trouble positioning himself as a victim to others. It is so convincing that everyone falls into the trap. We turn to him, we complain about him, we sympathize with his suffering, after all, who could be suspicious of a victim? (relationship with a narcissistic pervert)
In short: your entourage will eventually turn their backs on you
The particularity of the PN: Everyone agrees with his words.
6-You are only a shadow of yourself
During phases of denigration, of belittling, it empties you of your energy. It is not to recharge oneself so the term “vampirize” is misused, it is a black hole in fact. The unjustified nature of his attitude drains the energy of his victim. With him, you will suffer no matter what you do, you will be dejected and weakened, not knowing how to act. The only advice to follow is: FLEE!
Every time you try an approach, a discussion, a reconciliation, it will be failure assured. He will make you enter into his manipulation and you will lose your bearings and your certainties. This man will never be able to bring you anything because he is blinded by his completely unhealthy and incoherent mode of operation.
In short: a piece of advice: RUN AWAY!!!
The particularity of the PN: If you stay with him you will become depressed in the best case and in the worst case you risk coming close to the suicide attempt because you are alone in the world.
We do not become perverse, we remain so.
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