Can a couple without love last?
The conception of love varies according to people, couples, ages and generations. Everyone has their own definition of the word “love”! We will try to go further by trying to understand if it is possible to continue a union without that love that once gave us palpitations! Can a couple without love last?
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What does “love” mean
To answer the question: can a couple without love last, we must already make the difference between love and the state of love.
The state of love is one of the first emotions: butterflies in the belly, thoughts, desires, the need to see each other … Over time, this sensation gives way to everyday life that combines monotony, with awareness. We end up seeing each other’s shortcomings, we question ourselves and we enter the road of compromise. We are no longer in love as on the first day, but we are far from disarmer. It is in the awareness of reality that the couple can really be born.
What is it like to be in love? (Can a couple without love last?)
The heart beating at 100 per hour, the stress of the message that is waiting, the butterflies when we see the loved one . that’s the feeling of love. We idealize the other, because he (she) represents what we have always wanted. We deny the flaws and imperfections, because our partner is indeed prince charming (or the princess of fairy tales). Our gaps are filled, our fears have gone away and the ecstasy lasts and endures at every meeting. We are in a fairy tale! It is passionate love based on the idealization of the other.
But as time passes, the state of love fades and time to disappear. Because sooner or later we have to enter the reality that knows no fairy tale. It is the confrontation with the real world that will be the ultimate test of whether the couple will last beyond the vagaries of life. Ruptures are often present at the time of this transition, this phase of opposition, because we cannot bear to be put in front of this partner who is not free from all reproach. Prince Charming (where the princess) turns into a life partner: the travelling companion with whom we will face the storms of life.
Loving is something else .(Can a couple without love last?)
It is when we come out of the chimeras and enter everyday life that we can begin to love. In the past, we hovered, imagined and fantasized about the other, whereas now we learn to love him for what he really is. Learn to love our lover because he has such character trait, such weakness and such defect. The merger gives way to reality that accepts without judging. It is the brain that takes over emotions: we live and move forward in full knowledge of the facts.
We no longer idealize but we solidify our foundations to build a lasting relationship. To love is no longer to be in the myth of perfection but in the acceptance of a reality. We decide to become mature by doing with positive days and negative moments. The partners have passed the course of meaningless disputes and we decide to grow together. We love because we managed to hang on and confront each other beyond our differences. Differences will create understanding, listening and determination.
Can a couple without love last?
The answer cannot be limited to a YES or NO. What is essential is to have succeeded in solidifying the foundations of the relationship. The weather doing we can stay in a couple by habit because we will have learned to live with the other. Some people stay together because there is family and children. Others will stay because there is a true and sincere friendship. The couple varies according to the partners.
A couple can last and last as long as possible if and only IF the two partners have truly and sincerely loved each other. It is the foundations of the couple that will allow its longevity! Take the time to get to know each other so you really want to go some way with it. Only with time and patience can you keep your relationship going.
