Communication in the couple
Good communication in the couple:
A happy couple is a couple that communicates!
The key to harmony in a couple lies in the art of communicating well. The goal is to be able to feel listened to and free to express your thoughts and emotions.
At the beginning of the relationship, we have no problem accepting the differences of the other but over time it becomes unbearable! Expectations begin to diverge, cravings dissolve, vibrations evaporate. you walk away without knowing how to stop the locomotive. The result of this estrangement is a set of feelings just as unpleasant as frustration, discontent, anger and the incomprehension of seeing our lover become a real stranger!
With communication, couple problems can be solved 90%! For this we must learn to express ourselves openly and sincerely about our desires and expectations. We must not let our frustrations take over and create an insurmountable distance because of all the unspoken.
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I will try to help you by giving you some keys to communicate well in your couple.
How to communicate well in the couple?
1/ Express your point of view
If you want to give yourself the means to succeed as a couple, you must learn to express your positive and negative feelings.
It is imperative to learn to speak by saying “I” and not by criticizing the other in order to open up communication.
Ex: Thank you for helping me clean up but I wish you could put away the vacuum cleaner after using it.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see the world in their own way.
So to live a happy marriage, it is necessary to know how to constructively express your negative and positive feelings to your partner.
Learn to express yourself in a measured tone: with gentleness and serenity. Do not express yourself in anger because you may say derogatory things. It is preferable in this case to postpone a conversation even for an hour until the negative feelings fall back and give way to positive dialogue. It’s much easier to chat quietly, although it may take some time.
2/ Ask questions to the other for better communication in the couple
This will allow you to better understand what the other person is thinking and feeling.
How to do it? Learn to rephrase what the other person has just said to make sure you have understood and show the other person that their point of view interests you.
Ask them to explain what they mean when they talk about a particular topic. By asking him questions shows you that you are interested in what he says.
It is therefore necessary to listen to him sincerely and not to interpret what he says. It sounds simple, but you might be surprised at how difficult it is to actively listen to your partner, and especially in the event of an argument. Even if you have strong opinions or are eager to share your point of view, be sure to give your partner time to share their feelings and listen carefully. Strengthen your intimacy by showing that you are attentive.
This communication technique, when used well, soothes the other. In general, one of the most common mistakes in communication, and in couple communication in particular, is to deny or diminish the feelings of the other. When a person can freely express their feelings, they feel accepted and understood. From then on, quality communication can be established between the two partners of the couple.
3/ Ask yourself questions
It is very important to ask yourself questions about your own relationship. This allows you to keep in mind what is happening and to remain realistic in the face of a situation.
The questions that can be asked are for example:
- Where am I in my relationship?
- What is my desire for this relationship?
- Do I really put all the cards on the table to discuss?
- Do I respect the other in what he is in his differences of point of view and idea?
4/ Let the positive speak to have a good communication in the couple
It is very important to circulate the positive at the level of feelings and speech. These positive feelings generate well-being in the person who feels them and in the person to whom they are addressed.
If compliments trump criticism, the relationship is strong. In the opposite case, the relationship is fragile and may even disappear. When criticism outweighs compliments, the partner who suffers these criticisms will not be willing to question themselves.
Conversely, when compliments prevail, then the chances of the other hearing us are much greater. Compliments open our partner’s heart. Conversely, criticism provokes a reaction of defense and confinement. Indeed, no human being can suffer a flood of uninterrupted criticism without being strongly disturbed by it.
Some people are unable to listen to a compliment given to them without being strongly upset About it They will immediately change the subject, look away or even blush. It is much easier for these people to give compliments than to receive compliments. However, it is not possible to stay in such a configuration indefinitely, as it undermines the fluidity of the relationship.