Dating a co-worker
That’s it, you’ve crossed the threshold! During the last corporate pot, encouraged by the strong eyes of this colleague on whom you flashed – and probably by the 3 glasses of champagne you drank, you finally dared a rapprochement, to which the object of your desires responded favorably! congratulations! Now we will have to manage an equation that is not the easiest: a beginning of history + an environment not really conducive + an unknown as to the outcome of this relationship! For sure, you didn’t choose simplicity!
But don’t panic, here’s everything you need to know if you decide to date a co-worker.
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Dating a co-worker = A principle: discretion
You want to live this beginning of a love story in complete privacy, the time to see where it will lead. But this relationship shakes up the line that is usually put between personal life and professional life. It will take you out of your comfort zone to encourage you to be particularly attentive to certain details. Without becoming paranoid, here are some everyday situations on which you should be vigilant if you do not want to be unmasked.
Beware of these situations if you want to date a co-worker:
9am: Muddy the waters as soon as you arrive (Dating a co-worker)
You spent a crazy night together, and you’re getting ready to go to the office in the morning. Your story begins, it is still a little early to arrive hand in hand at work. In general, it is a little early for us to see you together – especially if you happen to meet Gérard de la compta in public transport or Isabelle the HRD on the company’s car park. So prefer to take a different route or desynchronize your arrival time. Same for the departure at the end of the day!
10:30 am: Working without revealing yourself
The working day exposes you to rub shoulders with Chouchou, or even to work together? Of course, in theory, you can only be advised to continue to behave as if nothing had happened. But in practice, it’s not that easy! Especially during the beginnings of the relationship, when the presence of the other in a room is enough to electrify you, or when you can not get rid of that huge smile that eats your face when you talk to him. (Dating a co-worker)
12:00: Tell your life at lunch break
Before, you counted every Monday lunchtime recounting your weekend in every detail – including fairy evenings. Well, sorry but this is no longer going to be possible, at least “as it is”, for the good reason that this free time, you now spend it with your colleague and that it is a secret.
So what to tell? Do not give in to the temptation to invent a double life for yourself. You would risk drowning in lies, and being called a “mytho” if it were to be learned. So prefer: (Dating a co-worker)
- silence (do not tell what you were not asked),
- avoidance (answer half, or divert attention to something or someone else),
- or the delicate art of half-lying (tell your weekend exactly as it happened… except that all the activities you have done together, you tell them as if you had done them solo or with friends.
If the routine of Monday lunchtime implies that everyone tells his weekend in turn, we might as well prepare a little beforehand and tune his violins so as not to tell the same story. For example, we can agree that one will tell part of the weekend’s activities and the other will tell the other part. Thus the two will have something to tell (truthful, what is more!), but their respective agendas will apparently have no common point.
2pm: Stay professional with Chouchou your colleague
Discretion also applies in the way you address your lover in public. Beware of gaffes that could betray you. Pronouncing “It’s time for the Chouchou meeting!” could cause a slight discomfort in the open space for example. Also beware of text messages and emails with intimate connotations that could embarrass you if they were viewed by uninformed eyes.
4:30 pm: Growing natural at the coffee break (Dating a co-worker)
However, if you were already close, then stay that way. For example, continue to take your coffee breaks together. It’s not always easy when the nature of the relationship evolves, because emotions can overwhelm us. However, wanting to avoid the person in public for fear that it will be seeed is a bad idea! After seeing you hyper buddies, your colleagues would find it curious to see you ignore you overnight, and would not delay in chatty. Of course, if you feel like you’re losing control, there’s no point in continuing to hurt yourself. Take a little distance from the person for a few days to reduce the pressure.
In general, rest assured! Time will do its work and you will get used to the situation. When you can control your emotions everything will be much better and the natural will take over.
6pm: Don’t betray yourself in afterwork
In your company, we like to celebrate on Friday evenings around an aperitif where we don’t drink only water? Some professional environment cultivates a festive atmosphere and a virtual absence of border between personal life and professional life. It can then be tempting to indulge in confidences. Do not decoy, love at work is still a taboo in business, and it is better to remain discreet, at least at the beginning of the relationship. Under one drink too many, there is also an increased risk that you will talk too much.
A general advice: monitor your alcohol consumption (your health will also say thank you!), as well as your attitude. Stay vigilant when chatting with other people and above all, don’t get too excited about your privacy.
The truth… or almost (Dating a co-worker)
In summary, know that it is always better to tell truths, even partial ones. It is more comfortable than inventing a false life for yourself, and you will be more at peace with your conscience. And if the pot aux roses comes to be discovered, your professional entourage will be more understanding if you have omitted certain details to protect yourself rather than if you have lied all along the line.
But rest assured! While these beginnings are certainly a little stressful, they are also galvanizing. Because beyond the euphoria of living a new story, we must also hide it… which adds its share of spice to the situation! It’s a safe bet that this secret that only you know makes your story even more exciting!
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