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Definition of passion in love #couple #love



Definition of passion in love

Definition of passion in love

When we talk about “love”, we often talk about passion. Is it the same thing? Do the two complement each other or are they totally dissociated? What exactly is love passion? Let’s look at the definition of passion in love.

Definition of passion in love

1/ The myth of the androgynous

I strongly invite you to read Plato’s Banquet to learn more about love and desire! It is in this small book well provided that I discovered this figure of passion, of fusion, that is the androgynous!

Abstract/ Excerpt from plato’s myth of the Androgyne or the origin of passion in love

Plato explains that “In the past our nature was not what it is now. First there were three species of men and not two, as today: the male, the female and, in addition to these them, a third composed of the other two; the androgynous”. The androgynous were therefore both male and female, attached to each other and therefore inseparable.


Armed with this dual nature, they tried to climb the sky to fight the gods. “Zeus deliberated with the other gods for the side to be taken. The case was embarrassing: they could not decide to kill men and destroy the human race with thunder as they had killed the giants. On the other hand, they also could not tolerate their insolence. Zeus therefore decided to cut the beings in two, the man and the woman.

« But when the body had been so divided, each one, regretting his half, went to her: and, kissing and embracing each other with the desire to blend in together, men died of hunger and inaction, because they did not want to do anything without each other; and when one half was dead and the other survived, the latter would look for another and embrace herself, either that it was a whole half woman – what is called a woman today – or that it was half of a man, and the race would die out.

Then Zeus, touched with pity, imagines another expedient: he transposes the organs of the generation to the front; until then they carried them behind, and they begat and gave birth not to one another, but on earth, like cicadas. He therefore placed the organs on the front and thereby caused the men to bigender into one another, that is, the male into the female.

This provision was for two purposes: if the embrace took place between a man and a woman, they would give birth to perpetuate the race, and, if it took place between a male and a male, satiety would separate them for a time, they would go to work and provide for all the needs of existence. 


It is from this moment that the innate love of men for one another dates back: love recomposes ancient nature, strives to merge two beings into one, and to heal human nature. »

In short, the myth of the androgynous is those beings both male and female who wanted to challenge the gods and who found themselves punished by being separated into two distinct beings; man and woman. Since then, every human being has been desperately looking for his half, his soul mate, his androgynous half.

2/ Definition of passion in love: Love for Stendhal

At the beginning of the nineteenth century, Stendhal will experience a real heartache. From this sorrow was born his work De l’amour, in which he gives us an almost universal theory yet based on his own experience. He tells us about the differences between men and women, he seeks to understand how the feeling of love works.

Stendhal breaks down the birth of love into seven phases:


1/ Admiration:

This is the very origin of love.

2/ Desire:

« We say to ourselves: what a pleasure to give him kisses, to receive them, etc. »

3/ Hope:

That is, the expectation that this desire will become reality, with visible signs like reddening skin, trembling hands. « The passion is so strong, the pleasure so vivid that it betrays itself by striking signs.»

4/ Love is born:

« To love is to have pleasure in seeing, touching, feeling through all the senses, and as close as possible an object that is kind and that loves us. »


5/ The first crystallization:

« It is the operation of the mind, which draws from everything that comes its way the discovery that the beloved object has new perfections. »

6/ Doubt arises:

Questions begin to appear as well as the uncertainty of being loved. “the lover, returned from his first astonishment and having become accustomed to his happiness, asks for more positive assurances, and wants to push his happiness. The lover comes to doubt the happiness he promised himself; he becomes harsh on the reasons to hope that he thought he saw. The fear of an awful misfortune seized him, and with it the deep attention.

7/ The second crystallization:

The idea that the person is in love is confirmed: She loves me. « She would give me pleasures that only she in the world can give me. » The difference between the first and the second crystallization is this evidence of being loved.

For my part, I had written an article on the three stages of the couple, which blend well with the seven that Stendhal proposes in his work.


3/ Zoom on crystallization to better understand the definition of passion in love

Before Stendhal gave it another meaning, the term “crystallization” existed in the field of chemistry or for the study of minerals. It was (and still is) about transforming a material into crystals.

“The first crystallization begins. One likes to adorn with a thousand perfections a woman of love of which one is sure; we detail all his happiness with infinite complacency. This is reduced to exaggerating a superb property, which has just fallen from the sky, which we do not know, and from who whenever we are insured. Let a lover’s head work for twenty-four hours, and here’s what you’ll find.

At the salt mines of Salzburg, a branch of a tree stripped by winter is thrown into the abandoned depths of the mine; two or three months later, it is removed covered with brilliant crystallizations: the smallest branches, those no larger than the leg of a, are lined with an infinity of mobile and dazzling diamonds; the primitive branch can no longer be recognized. 

What I call crystallization is the operation of the mind, which draws from everything that comes its way the discovery that the beloved object has new perfections. »


Crystallization would allow the couple to last

For Stendhal, the crystallization of love allows the relationship to last because every fear, every doubt but also every happiness revives this love. Crystallization is completely linked to the imagination, it allows to sublimate the other. To crystallize would be to unconsciously change the other according to our imagination: Does he love Me? Certainly, he loves me, how can I doubt it? Why did he do this? Wouldn’t he love me? According to Stendhal, women would crystallize more than men.

The definition of love passion?

We’ve been in the middle of it since the beginning of this article! Still for Stendhal, passion creates a mystification of the loved one by the lover: the real loved one no longer exists as such in the eyes of the lover but as a perfect being. The lover therefore sees the loved one under the prism of perfection and creates an idealized image. Passion would therefore be an illusion, but a real illusion for the one who unconsciously created it.

Also in his work, De l’amour,Stendhal distinguishes four types of love:

Love-passion: “Passions are the only motive of men; they do all the good and all the evil that we see on earth.”


Love-taste: “Love-taste ignites and love-passion is cooled by confidences. »

Physical love: “Everyone knows this love about this kind of pleasure, however dry and unhappy the character, we start there at sixteen. »

Love-vanity: “The vast majority of men, especially in France, desire and have a fashionable woman, as one has a pretty horse, as something necessary for the luxury of a young man.”

Passion refers to a dominant, exclusive desire powerful enough to invade the entire life of the mind and polarize an existence on a single object. Apart from the interest in the passionate object nothing matters, the whole universe of the enthusiast converges towards a single pole that fascinates him.


Its inaccessible character gives it incredible power. When we look, the greatest love passions, which have never faded, remain impossible loves: Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose,


1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Juliana Oti

    October 25, 2021 at 2:52 pm


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