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Diplomacy Is Not An Option: Cry Blood and Smile
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Hey there, commander! Have you ever wondered what would happen if Age of Empires found Dark Souls at a medieval crossroads and decided to exchange some blows? Well, Diplomacy Is Not An Option It's exactly that bar fight in game form. Here, you're not some pompous king with an infinite army and a golden castle. No, bro, you're just another unlucky lord, trying to hold on while everything around you falls apart. And let me tell you, if you thought it was going to be a piece of cake, you better lace up your boots because things are about to get intense!
An RTS for Those Who Like to Suffer (Like Playing FIFA Online)
Have you ever played that one? RTS classic, style Warcraft 3 or Command & Conquerwhere you build your moral base and go after your enemies? Forget it. Here, the game is different. In Diplomacy Is Not An Optionyou're more screwed than a football player FIFA when you get that kid who only plays on the counterattack. The game doesn't care if you're ready or not – the hordes of enemies will arrive, and you'll have to hold your own if you don't want to see your castle turn to dust.
The plan here is total defense. There's no point exploring the map and looking for a fight like in Age of Empiresbecause the fight comes to you. And it comes strong. It's like that horde of zombies in The Last of Us – they don’t stop, and if you’re not prepared, you’ll become a snack.
Are you thinking that just because you know about Starcraft Are you going to get by in Brutal? Here, the game is a bitch. Even if you have the knack of building the best defense, there will always be a detail that goes unnoticed – like that zombie that appears out of nowhere in Resident Evil and takes you by surprise. And worse: the enemies here are like the monsters from Monster Hunter – there’s always a bigger and angrier one coming next.
The game is a crazy mix of tower defense, city builder and RTSbut don't think that this makes things easier, no. It's the opposite, bro. You're going to have to do your best to build defenses, manage resources, and still deal with a population that only complains. It's like playing The Sims in hardcore mode, where the neighbors want to kill you and the firefighters are on strike.
When You Think You're Doing Well, The Game Slaps You In The Face
One of the most frustrating – and hilarious – moments is when you think you’re doing great, only to see everything fall apart in seconds. You know when you’re playing Fortniteyou build a cool building and then, out of nowhere, someone snipes you? It's the same feeling here. You think your defenses are solid, but then a horde comes with more people than Black Friday in an electronics store, and takes everything.
And as if that weren't enough, soldiers who die on the battlefield not only leave a smell of defeat in the air, but they can also cause you a big problem: disease. That's right, if you don't take care of the corpses, they can turn into zombies and, man, no one deserves to have to deal with more zombies after a battle. It's like that bug in an online game that turns a small error into complete chaos.
Endless Mode: That Challenge for Those Who Like to Suffer
If you are one of those who loves to suffer – like playing Dark Souls over and over again until you finally kill the boss – Endless Mode is for you. Here, the game never stops. The hordes just keep growing, and you'll have to always be one step ahead, building, defending and, of course, swearing a lot in the chat.
But there's a catch: the stone and iron mines will dry up. And then, man, it's like playing Minecraft in hardcore, where you run out of resources and have nowhere to run. You will have to exchange resources that you have in abundance, such as wood and food, for these materials. But in practice, it is complicated. It is as if, in the middle of a game of League of Legendsyou ran out of mana and had no way to recover it.
A Strategy Game With the Face of Someone Who Is Not Afraid to Suffer
Diplomacy Is Not An Option has a unique feel, mixing dark humor with a difficulty that makes even veterans of RTS question your skills. The graphics are cartoonish, but the difficulty is real. And each victory – or failure – comes with a good dose of satisfaction. It’s like winning a ranked game of Valorant after several defeats: you know you worked hard to achieve it.
The research system is simple but efficient. Just don't think that one or two upgrades will save you. The game is smarter than that. You'll need strategy, quick reflexes and, above all, a lot of patience.
Pros:
- Mix of genres (RTS, tower defense, city builder) that offers a unique experience
- Really tough challenges, ideal for strategy game veterans
- Cartoonish graphics that contrast well with the intense difficulty
- High level of replayability with random maps and varied modes
Cons:
- Resource saving can be frustrating in long modes
- High difficulty may alienate more casual players
- Limited research system, with few strategy customization options
Final Grade: 7/10
If you're looking for a strategy game that will make you sweat and laugh at your own misadventures, Diplomacy Is Not An Option is the right choice. With a mix of tower defense, city builder and RTSit offers a unique and challenging experience that will keep you engaged for hours – or until you decide you can’t take any more beatings. And if Door 407 keeps adding content and polishing the edges, this game has everything it needs to become a cult classic in the gaming world. And, hey, if you enjoy a game that slaps you in the face, laughs at your silly face and still challenges you to come back for more, Diplomacy Is Not An Option will be your new addiction. And who knows, with a little practice, you might become the most feared lord in this crazy world.
Diplomacy Is Not An Option: Cry Blood and Smile
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