Divorced man gives 20 valuable tips about marriage

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valuable tips about marriage

Gerald Rogers has tasted the harsh law of marriage: if you don’t know the rules, romance can end in divorce. Following the failure of his marriage, this young divorcee decided to write 20 precious tips for men to succeed in their life as a couple. I couldn’t have used more accurate words and better advice, applicable to both men and women! The source can be found here, on his Facebook.

1. Never stop courting him. To be an eternal lover.

NEVER take the woman you have as a given. When you asked for his hand, you promised one thing: To be that man who had conquered his heart, and who will know how to protect and keep him at all costs. It is the most important, sacred treasure you will ever have in your hands. She chose you. Never forget this, and never be indolent and lax in your love.

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2. Protect your own heart ( valuable tips about marriage )

Just as you took the oath to be the guardian of his heart, you will have to take care of yours with the same vigilance, the same considerations. Love yourself, love the world around you, but keep that little space in your heart that no one, except your wife, will be able to enter. 

Keep this small space always ready to receive it, invite her to enter it every day, but defend the entrance because no one else should access it.

3. Fall in love again, again and again.

People are constantly changing. You won’t be the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you won’t be the same people you are today. Change is inevitable, and that’s why you’ll have to choose each other again every day. She doesn’t have to stay with you, and if you’re not careful, you can lose her and never be able to make up for your mistake again. The fight to conquer one’s heart is a fight of every moment.

4. Always see his best side. ( valuable tips about marriage )

Focus on the things you love. Because the things we pay the most attention to develop. If you focus on what annoys you, all you’ll see is reason to be upset. If you focus on what you love, you won’t be able to help but feel love. Focus on it, until you reach the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and the unwavering feeling of being the luckiest man on earth to have such a woman as a companion.

5. It’s not up to you to try to change it or make it improve.

Your task is very simple: to love her as she is, without expectations or desire to see her change. And if it changes, love what it becomes, whether it’s what you wanted in the first place — or not.

6. Take responsibility for your own life.

Be responsible for your emotions. It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she can’t make you unhappy either. It is up to you to find your own happiness, and it is through this that this happiness will flow into your romantic relationship.

7. Don’t blame her if you’re upset.

NEVER blame her if YOU are frustrated or upset. These are emotions that belong to YOU. When you feel these kinds of feelings, take the time to take a step back, to take a step back. Look for what is in YOU and that needs to be cared for, repaired. If you have ever been attracted to this woman, it is because she knew how to put balm in your heart, to bandage your wounds.

8. Let her live ( valuable tips about marriage )

Conversely, when she is sad or stressed, it is not up to you to try to solve this problem. You just have to hold her in your arms and tell her that everything is fine. Let her know that you love her, that you care about her, and that you hear her. You are the shoulder on which she can lean. When you see her upset, don’t dodge her. Stay present and listen to what she really has to say.

9. Be the idiot, from time to time.

Stop taking yourself so seriously. Laugh. Make her laugh. Laughter makes things so much easier.

10. Fill it with love, every day.

Learn her language, the specific way she likes to be treated. Cherish it, make it feel how important it is to you. If necessary, ask her to make a list of the 10 things that make her feel loved and memorize them. Make her feel treated like a queen, every day.

11. Be present. ( valuable tips about marriage )

Don’t just dedicate your time to him, but also offer him your attention, energy and soul. Do everything in your power to clear your mind so that when you are with her, you are REALLY with her.

12. Be prepared to take it sexually.

Take her elsewhere, consume her, devour her with your masculine presence, penetrate her to the depths of her soul. Let her be a woman, let yourself be a man.

13. Don’t be an idiot.

Don’t be an idiot, but don’t be afraid to be one either. Everyone makes mistakes, too, and so do you. We can’t avoid making mistakes, but we can try to make as few mistakes as possible. Learn from the mistakes you make.

14. Give it space.

The first quality that women have is that of knowing how to give without counting. Sometimes you will have to lead her to take care of herself too. She will have to move away from you a little to find or feed her passions. Let her take time for herself, ESPECIALLY if you have children.

15. Be vulnerable.

Be prepared to share your fears and emotions,and know how to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be transparent. ( valuable tips about marriage )

If you want to gain his trust, you’ll need to be willing to share EVERYTHING, especially the things you want to share the least. It takes courage to love someone fully, to open their heart, and to let them go in without knowing if they will love what they will find there. Because to truly love someone, you have to love them in their entirety, including the dark side. Drop the masks: If you feel like you have to wear a mask when it’s present, and be perfect all the time, you’ll never experience love in its entirety.

17. Never stop growing together.

Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and diseases, the living water is always cool and bubbling. When you stop working a muscle, it atrophies, and the same goes for a romantic relationship. Find common issues, goals, dreams that you want to move towards together.

18. Stop worrying too much about money.

Money is just a game. You are teammates who have to play together, in the same team. It never makes things better when teammates squabble. Learn to use your common strength.

19. Forgive immediately.

Focus on the future rather than trying to carry the weight of the past. Don’t let the past hold you hostage. Forgiveness is freedom. Cut the chains that hold you back from the mistakes of the past, and move forward as long as you can.

20. Choose love. Always.

In the end, this may be the only advice you’ll really need. If it is the cornerstone, the basic principle of all your actions and choices, nothing can ever shake the bond you have with your wife. Love resists everything.