First meeting with the in-laws
The highlight has arrived: the famous first meeting with the in-laws. Your beloved, with sparkling eyes of emotion, threw you the famous phrase: “My parents would like to meet you, they invite us to lunch on Saturday. What do you say about it? ». Butterflies come to tickle your belly as you are flattered to finally meet your in-laws and above all, happy to take an important step in your life as a couple… But very quickly, panic takes place and a ball is tied in your stomach. Will you please them?
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Every family is different but good news, some attitudes work in any case and it is good to adopt them if you want to make a good impression.
First meeting with the in-laws: The 8 essentials
1/ For the first meeting with the in-laws, we find out!
First of all, you will need to find out about your darling’s family. And yes, he (she) also wants more than anything that you like his family. Ask them questions about topics to avoid, sensitive questions, taboo conversations.
In any case, discussions about politics and family concerns are avoided. If your friend’s whole family advocates capitalism and you struggle during the left front protests, too bad. Don’t say anything. It would be a shame to an anseon the whole family. This is the first time you meet them, avoid any source of conflict. Similarly, if you learn that your partner’s mother abhors piercings, remove the one you have on your nose… just for today.
We learn about the family, about the little stories supposedly unknown to everyone but which everyone talks about secretly. To say that Vanessa has Robert’s nose when the whole family knows full well that she is not of him… It’s called a big blunder. So we don’t make judgments, we just analyze nicely… in his head.
Finally, we learn about the possible cachoteries of your friend to his family. He (she) has his secret garden and you surely know things that his family does not know. To shout at him because he took up smoking again when no one ever knew he was smoking… It’s also called a blunder. Just like lamenting the fact that he stopped college for the third year in a row when his mother is convinced that he will be entering the Master’s next year.
In summary, we inform ourselves before committing the Fatal Error. And we’re a little discreet.
2/ We smile, we are pleasant and considerate
Stepfady and step mom and step mom pick you up at the train station. You have made a long journey, you are tired and anxious as you approach the famous first meeting with the in-laws. However, you will have to force yourself a little and wear a nice smile when going to meet them. Show them that you are happy to meet them. We are polite, we say hello, we thank you for coming to pick us up.
On the other hand, we do not arrive empty-handed. So we bring back pancakes or an apple crumble for dessert, flowers, a nice box of chocolates or macaroons. From the outset, you score points and please everyone.
3/ We dress properly during the first meeting with the in-laws
Dress is an important point, a take-it-or-leave-it bonus. You do not go to a job interview, the strict tailor and the pair of black pumps is to be banned. You’re also not going to sway on the matignon dancefloor. So we opt for a simple and appropriate outfit.
For you, ladies:
Jeans, blouse, plain T-shirt, plain V-neck sweater, waistcoat or simple jacket, straight dress at the knees, skirt at the knees (after, we adapt according to the season). As for shoes, ballerinas, pumps or boots will do very well. The whole thing is not to highlight your carnal assets. Your fiancé knows them. And that’s enough. So we forget the plunging necklines, the leggins matched with a short top, as well as the ultra-tight dress. We also avoid the too short top that reveals your magnificent butterfly piercing and even more your new tribal lower back. No outrageous makeup either.
For you gentlemen:
Jeans/shirt is a must to seduce in-laws. If it’s hot, opt for a V-neck T-shirt (I said V-neck, not v-neck that gets to the navel!), if it’s cold, a V-neck sweater or turtleneck. As for shoes, any (except the big jogging sneakers). For the rest, you wash, you shave, avoid having an uncontrollable tignasse on the skull and voila.
4/ We observe during the first meeting with the in-laws
The first “in-laws” meal is a real exercise in analysis. If you’re shy, so much the better. No one will ask you to tell a joke or show your singing skills when you first meet. If you are rather extroverted, be a little more discreet than usual.
First of all:
Listen carefully to the conversations, it will give you an idea of who-you-are dealing with. For future family reunions, this will be useful to you. You can speak on a subject that has already been put on the table, or simply laugh at a joke already heard at the first meal.
Observe the mistakes of others, such as reprimands for children. Matthias has just put his elbows on the table and it did not at all but then not at all pleased his grandmother! Focus so as not to put yours on the tablecloth! Stand up straight, cut the bread with a knife (yes, it’s sure it’s nicer when you pull it out with your fingers!), don’t cut the salad with your knife, don’t take out your phone (which you’ll have put on silent).
5/ We are interested in what is said… but not too much
That’s it, we’re in the thick of the conversation. It laughs, it criticizes, it takes serious tunes, solemn tones, it tells… And you, you feel a little out of the way. You don’t know the family stories yet, who is who, the family past… Do not stand in the way of dialogue. Just laugh, smile, take part when you are given the opportunity.
If Grandma Suzanne is in a fight against her sister Bernadette who never comes to family meals do not have fun taking part in the kind: “yes, it is true that she abusese”. When you don’t know, you don’t say anything. We do not venture on the slippery slopes, you would risk slipping and hurting yourself very badly.
On the contrary, at some point (yes, yes, it will necessarily happen), you will become the center of attention. Without really having wanted it any way. We will assail you with questions: “what do you do in life”, “is it good? do you like it? “I hope you do well to eat, because Arnaud is a bon vivant. Do you cook reassure me? “How come you don’t have the permit? Yes you live in Paris certainly but hey it’s IN-DIS-PEN-SA-BLEUH you know the permit ” […] We answer politely, correctly, without provocation, with a touch of humor at most. Answering “I prefer to ride in a carriage” it goes or it breaks.
6/ We are irreproachable for the first meeting with the in-laws
We are polite, we thank, we stand up straight, we do not go out to smoke in the middle of the meal even if we want to kill everyone just for that, we do not tutoie people older than ourselves, we retain first names and family ties. We remember the rules of politeness that mom and dad instilled in us a long time ago. The ones that we had scratched from our minds for a little while.
We take them out of the drawer and learn them by heart. We adapt, even if everything is different from your daily life, do not let any frustration show. If your in-laws are used to eating on the floor, with their fingers. You eat on the floor, with your fingers.
We help to get rid even if no one asked us. As we help prepare the meal or set the table if we arrive early. In addition, it is a moment of intimacy with the mother of the other usually. You can also help mow the lawn, explain something on the phone or computer… Do as you please and what makes you feel comfortable!
7/ We are not stingy in compliment
To say that you have never eaten such a delicious leg will give back balm to your mother-in-law’s heart. Don’t sly about compliments, even more so if they are sincere. The Panacotta has delighted you, let it be known, for its greatest pleasure.
8/ We do not forget that our hosts also want to please us
If your friend’s mother was busy in the kitchen for five hours before you arrived, took out her pretty blue dress and got up earlier to make an impeccable brushing, it is also out of concern for the sake of pleasing. You want us to consider you, to appreciate you, because you have engaged with your darling and you want it to last. And for that, you know how important it is to please your family. It is the same for his parents to him (her). Her mother knows full well that if you don’t like her, you won’t want to come back anytime soon. And it also means for her, that she will not see her son (daughter) again for a short time.
And you, how was this first meeting with your in-laws?