I received an email from one of my readers recently who told me about the famous saying “Flee me I follow you, follow me I flee you”. I thank him because it is a quasi-obligatory phase(s) in a romantic relationship, especially during the beginnings.
The game of cat and mouse: personal testimonies
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I am the mouse and you the cat
It was in primary school that I learned – unconsciously – to play this game which, in the end, is not that funny. It was Julien at the time who made my heart vibrate as an eight-year-old girl. I was talking about him at all costs, I was in love what, in love as we are in CE2. And came that day when I took my courage with five hands (it is the case to say it, it is not obvious when you do not have a phone or internet!) and when I confessed my flame,in front, like an adult (I am more very sure to be able to do that but let’s move on).
There, he looked at me with his little cracking eyes and he said to me: “I too have been in love with you for a long time” trooppp mimiiiiii. And the very second he said that phrase, I didn’t like him anymore. This complicated matters.
I am the cat and you the mouse (Follow me I flee you flee me I follow you)
If in the first case, one feels a little guilty about rejecting the other as an unloved, in the second, one suffers, really.
So, it’s the story of two young adults who get along wonderfully: Vincent and … bah me, Léa. He had loved her for three years, with a sincere and pure love. She had loved him for three years, with a deep friendship. He was jealous of his friends, wrote him letters, sent him flowers, made paintings for him with pictures of them and all the tralalala. But she paid little attention to it. Itwas the other, there, who caused her to capsize and she managed to sink the ship and grab it niark niark. (I stop the third person singular, I’m not tired of it there!). So I got into a relationship with the ship (yes it will be called like that) and Vincent was annihilated. To console him, I told him about a geniiiaaalliisssimmmee acquaintance that he would like very much. This knowledge instantly fell under his spell and he, jaded, let himself be caught up in the game. But, suddenly, (suuussppeeennsss) the day of my birthday arrived.
The little story (Follow me I flee you flee me I follow you)
I had rented a room and the whole bazaar to accommodate eighty people. And there, while the party was in full swing, I saw Vincent kissing his “beloved”. I felt my heart break. As they say, “it is when you “lose” a person that you realize how much you loved them.” Then, he found himself alone and wanted to dance with me on a song that we particularly liked(J’t’prend au vent, by Louise Attaque). And there we kissed and it was wwhhoouuaaa. He left his girlfriend, I left my ship. Only, once he had what he wanted more than anything (that is, ME), he did not try to surprise me anymore, clearly showed me that he was bored with me, preferred to see his friends (whereas, a few months before, he would have given everything to spend even an hour in front of me).
In short, I finally ran after him for more than a year of relationship. It had become the mouse, and being the cat is really boring. Besides, you notice although you drunk the other to the highest point, but it is stronger than you, you can not detach yourself from it. And the more you feel that it escapes you, the more you want to catch up with it. We often do the opposite of what we should be doing. I ended up leaving him because I had given enough to a guy who offered me nothing in return (NOTHING, not even a little privacy, NADA!).
The beginnings of a romantic relationship: The game of cat and mouse is almost the basis of seduction (Follow me I flee you flee me I follow you)
During the beginnings of a relationship, this game is pleasant because we move from one role to another. We like to make the other languish, feel him crazy when we do not immediately answer his calls… And in spite of ourselves, we also love when our quest does not give us everything, right away. He knows how to make us wait, make us crazy. However, this game is dangerous because we tend to turn into obsession. We start looking at our phone every ten minutes for fear of missing truc’s beni call, we spend our time scrutinizing his Facebook page and hope that certain statuses are intended for us, we talk about him at all costs as if we lived with it for eight years, our friends can no longer of our neurosis. We then have the impression of having fallen in love when it is only a desire for possession. Obviously, we feel the other escape us and we can not stand it.
I would say that this game is worth it when it is reciprocal. Sometimes we have the feeling that the one on whom we have set our sights is deliberately taking the time to answer us, to move the appointments so that we are impatient to see him, when, in the end, he just has nothing to do with us. If this is the third time he’s put you a plan, drop it huh!
Couple relationship: the “flee me blablabla” seriously harms sentimental health (Follow me I flee you flee me I follow you)
This sentimental saying is very different when it comes to the couple, solid, lasting. In this case it is no longer a game. What for? Because it’s UNINTENTIONAL. We don’t care if we make the other run so that he becomes even more attached to us. Here, we just want him to give us peace because we are not tired of being with him but we do not have the courage to send everything waltzing.
Moreover, we must not forget – sometimes – to remind his companion that we are not acquired. And that it must make efforts (as we must do as well). But men encounter this problem more often than women: we, in general, have understood that nothing is taken for granted.
Finally, I will put the “definition” of the reader who gave me the idea to make this article because I find it beautifully formulated: this game is similar to “a theorem of physics where two magnets sometimes repel each other, sometimes attract each other”.