Forgiving an infidelity is not an easy thing and yet some couples have done it and sometimes come out even stronger! I found it useful to find testimonies from couples who have overcome adultery because it is an extremely recurring topic. As soon as we talk about adultery, insults fly, hatred speaks and people who have overcome infidelity in their couple never talk about it so much in our adultery society is equal to rupture in popular thought. So here it is: Forgive an infidelity: Testimonies of couples who did it!
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Forgiving Infidelity: Testimonies of Couples Who Overcame Adultery
As Esther Perel says in her absolutely brilliant book “I love you I’m deceiving you”,some will leave the other for a one-night stand when others want to stay together despite an infidelity that has lasted for years.
She explains (page 115): “The impact of infidelity is not necessarily proportional to its duration or severity. There are couples who do not resist a one-night stand, for example. I think back to this woman who, in a moment of intimacy, unthought confessed to her husband a very old extramarital passade. She was stunned when he immediately ended their thirty-year marriage.
Conversely, there are couples who will show an ability to bounce back after a heavy betrayal. It is striking to see people welcoming almost without flinching shattering revelations, or on the contrary, shouting loudly in front of a simple walking gaze. I saw some who were devastated after learning that their partner dared to fantasize while others accepted with philosophy the meetings without a future specific to business trips abroad. »
In short, it is difficult to know how to react to adultery and each couple is different. It is also important to know that many couples survive!
Forgiving Infidelity: Cassandra’s Testimony
It is not easy for me to talk about this period again because it was extremely difficult. After 15 years of marriage, one morning I discovered a message from a woman on my husband’s mobile phone. In truth, he wrote “Martin. I am not curious and is never searched in his phone but there, it did not stop vibrating and I opened his mobile(I knew his password so all the more reason not to search and never to have suspected him).
I was devastated when I discovered that this Martin was actually a woman with whom he had really hot conversations and this, for several months.
I will pass you the details of the first phase where I caught a lead, literally. I broke everything, Threw his clothes out the window, I never wanted to see him again. He crawled at my feet, begging me to forgive him, which he regretted. At that moment, his apology, I really had nothing to do with it. I had rage, I had the feeling of not knowing the man in front of me.
I went for two weeks with the children to my parents’ house. (Forgiving Infidelity)
There, I realized that I loved our family life and that I still loved my husband despite his betrayal. I stayed with my parents almost two months before accepting his proposal: to save our couple through marital therapy. It wasn’t easy, we stayed in therapy for almost a year, every week. We understood a lot about ourselves, about our relationship and our way of functioning which was not really the right one.
He obviously immediately cut the bridges with the other. And when I made the decision to forgive him, I promised myself that I would never go back on it again. Since (it’s been 7 years now), confidence has returned even if it took time. I sincerely believe that he will never again take the risk of losing me because if it started again, this time there would be no discussion possible.
There is no right or wrong way to do it.
I do not know whether to forgive or not. I think it all depends on our will. Before, adultery was very common, today we make a mountain of it because our ego takes a huge hit. But in the end, what we built during all this time was, in my opinion, much more important than his adventure of a few months!
Forgiving An Infidelity: Testimony of Olivier
I learned that my friend had cheated on me after three years of relationship. We were plans to have a baby and she wanted to confess her betrayal to me before starting a family.
At first, I was crazy, she disgusted me, I didn’t want to touch her anymore. And then, very quickly, just a few weeks, I told myself that if she had confessed it to me herself, it was because she really wanted to start a family with me on a sound and solid foundation. So I forgave.
I thought about it all the time, it haunted me at first, of course. And then, the months passed and the years and I really completely forgave.
It’s been 9 years since we’ve been together and we have two beautiful children so I can tell you that I’m more than happy to have made this decision a few years ago. I would have regretted to send everything waltzing for a “simple one-night stand” when now I have a golden family by my side and a woman in whom I have blind confidence.