he is a manipulator
You met him, you liked him and you started a romantic relationship. But very quickly, you feel a malaise, an embarrassment, a feeling of exacerbated inferiority, a balance of power. You feel ugly, stupid, always at fault. That’s the word, you have the impression that as soon as there is a problem, a misunderstanding, it is your fault. You are questioning yourself, you do not understand what is going on. You lose confidence in yourself and you spend your time apologizing. But you don’t even know why you’re asking for forgiveness anymore.
he? He is sure of himself, handsome speaker, he directs the exchanges, decides when a conversation should take place and when and how it should end. What you took at the beginning for assurance, for a beautiful confidence in him gradually takes a form of domination, of permanent accusation.
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He belittles you, makes you doubt, judges your emotions and reactions, takes you back on everything, all the time. It distorts and accuses, turns every difference of opinion into a nightmare and ends up undermining your trust in yourself to achieve its ends. What does he want? Decide everything and control you. Impose your vision of a relationship and manipulate you. Unfortunately it is a reality, you have come across a manipulator. Is it possible to see the warning signs? To recognize them? If you still doubt it, read these 8 “standard phrases” that prove that he is a manipulator in love.
The 8 “standard phrases” that prove that he is a manipulator
1) You could still have. (he is a manipulator)
This is the basic principle of the manipulator: if there is a mistake made, a problem, then it is necessarily your fault. He is never responsible and he is always right. Listening to him, “you should have known that, think about, guess that… ».
And for him, whatever you do, you will always be wrong and in your place, he would not have done like that. Of course, it has a monopoly on the truth.
2) You really complicate everything!
This is the phrase par excellence to destabilize you. Make you feel guilty. Did you ask a simple question? Issued a simple opinion or request? And it does not suit him, you have exceeded the limits that only he has set. Yes, he dares. He who turns the situations and distorts the words, he dares to accuse you of complicating everything, just to blur the tracks a little more.
3) I say this for you.(he is a manipulator)
Manipulation is thinking for you. It is to make you doubt your own thoughts, your reflections and your actions. The manipulator likes to pass himself off as a great altruist who has only your well-being at heart.
He is convinced that it is in your interest that he manipulates you, and only to help you that he crushes you. Since he is sure to be right and to be the best thing that has happened to you in life. Actually in his head, it’s like you’re nothing without him.
4) Stop dramatizing everything, it’s annoying
He does everything to demean you but he can’t stand your weaknesses. It’s like a permanent emotional test. Are you crying and your tears are signs of anger, frustration or sadness? He doesn’t care. There is no way for him to question himself, to let himself be moved and he does not know compassion.
For him, the only possible explanation is your hypersensitivity. You take things too much to heart, you get a little moved, you should be stronger.
5) I never said that, you always understand everything wrong
Bad faith is an integral part of his personality. He will not hesitate to fiercely deny a sentence spoken a short time ago, to invent others or to distort the truth. And in the face of so much aplomb and bad faith, you are so helpless that he wins by knockout.
The last resort of the manipulator is that of the uncompleted hero. As long as we do not agree, it is that we do not listen, that we do not understand, that we do not make efforts and / or that we flout our feelings.
6) How can you do that to me? (he is a manipulator)
Playing with your feelings is his thing. A manipulator uses your heartstrings, namely your emotions and feelings, to control you. He did everything to make you attach yourself to him, to create a relationship of dependency between you.
And once you love him and he has convinced you of his so-called love as well, he uses it against you. He succeeds in making you believe that you are the reason for His sadness, that He suffers because of you, that you have the power to hurt Him. And that’s another way to make you feel guilty.
7) You ruin everything
Did you dare to question or outright refuse one of his proposals? Did you dare to say no to him? And so in his language, spoil everything and oppose him? For him it is inconceivable, and it shows your inability to think intelligently and do the right thing. That’s what he’s going to be able to put in your head.
By positioning yourself as a victim and you as a woman who did not understand anything about the chance he gave you. Once again, it goes on the attack, you feel guilty and you question yourself. Finally, you lose sight of the real point in this verbal joust and you agree with him.
8) You really delusions there, you’re crazy
Or “you’re completely crazy” and “it’s in your head”. After playing with your feelings and false guilt, he pulls out his last card. Cornered if you start to open your eyes about him, he embarks on a destructive enterprise against you by attacking your mental health.
Talking to you about madness and emotional instability. All accompanied by false smiles and feigned tenderness, as if he was sincerely sorry to see you go wrong and that he was there to help you.
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