How can you no longer be jealous with your boyfriend
Being jealous with your boyfriend can be a source of conflict and a lot of suffering.
Jealousy in love is the fear of losing the loved one, the fear that he will leave for someone else (implying someone better than oneself).
Being jealous is a rather healthy reaction at the beginning, because it serves to protect us. But it can sometimes become disabling, when it is akin to a daily anxiety that the other does not understand. A tendency to paranoia can develop: “he hid his mobile phone by the time I arrived, so he’s sure to be cheating on me.” This is called sickly jealousy.
Discover here several tips to find serenity and no longer be jealous with your boyfriend.
To no longer be jealous with your boyfriend, you must first understand what causes jealousy
Think about what exactly causes jealousy in you: a particular gesture, a word, an insecure behavior on the part of your boyfriend?
Your fear is surely related to a childhood wound of betrayal, or abandonment. You may have already experienced a betrayal by a man (an ex or other relative), or your father who abandoned you for example. So you feel like you’re never good enough, so the men around you always end up leaving (so-called a false belief).
Your past makes it difficult for you today to trust a man again, because the fear that history will repeat itself is omnipresent in your mind.
Don’t let your injuries or fears control you. Every story is different, and you are not a victim of fate
If you clearly have in mind the person who betrayed or abandoned you in the past, it may be time to forgive him inwardly.
Forgive for no longer living in resentment, anger. To make room for something else in your heart. Forgive so that you can trust and move forward again.
How can you no longer be jealous with your boyfriend
Give him the opportunity to be reassured
When we suffer his jealousy, we sometimes tend to avoid talking about it, out of shame.
But it’s important to communicate well with your partner about your fears, so that they can understand your behavior when you are jealous with them. You can tell him that when you see him talking to another woman, you are anxious. Tell them that you are making sure to calm this fear in you, because it makes you suffer.
Talk calmly with him, when you are not in the emotion if possible (otherwise you risk telling him in a tone of reproach and under the influence of anger). There is a good chance that he will be touched by your words, and that he will want to reassure you, because he wants you to feel good.
Gain self-confidence to no longer be jealous with your boyfriend
It’s hard to trust someone when you lack self-confidence. As we saw above, jealousy comes from the fear of not being well enough, of not satisfying one’s partner.
If the worst were to happen (a deception or else it leaves you for someone else), it would in no way mean that you are not well enough. It would just mean that he would not have been able to recognize your value, or simply that he had needs that were not met in the couple. These are things that happen, and it should not call into question your self-esteem.
You have as much value as anyone else. You are an amazing woman, unique, with lots of qualities. So stop comparing yourself to others, because there is no comparison to be made.
Focus on your qualities, on what makes you a different woman from others. Remember the reasons why he chose you and not another.
How can you no longer be jealous with your boyfriend
Accept that this can happen
You can’t control everything, and being possessive isn’t going to prevent the risk of that happening.
In fact, the opposite is true, because jealousy is a vicious circle. Indeed, if you are suspicious you will be in control, not be yourself in his presence, not be pleasant with him. You will no longer be in love and trust, which may alter the relationship. That is why I call on you to let go, to accept that this can happen and that there is nothing you can do about it.
Mistrust is contagious, as is trust. Trust to attract trust and honesty to you.
Reconsider the image of the couple to no longer be jealous with his boyfriend
Finally, jealous people tend to be in fusional relationships, to be dependent on their partner and to consider it as their possession.
But emotional blackmail, monitoring the messages he sends or preventing him from dating his friends are not solutions to be sure that he stays with you until the end of your life.
You know that if your boyfriend stays with you, it’s because he’s good.
So there’s no point in constantly questioning this, doubting him and you. Simply make sure to maintain the relationship on a daily basis without suffocating the other. This is the best way to maintain happiness and love in your relationship.
Acting in a healthy way with your partner is the best way to live a healthy and caring relationship.
And remember that a couple is composed of two beings who have chosen to be together, while being aware that they can leave if they decide. And it is this feeling of freedom and mutual trust that makes a couple happy and serene.
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