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How do I know if I am emotionally dependent?
« To say that I ruined years of my life, that I wanted to die, that I had my greatest love, for a woman who did not like me, who was not my kind!” This is how Swann’s Love ends. Proust describes how Swann gradually gave up being himself, taking a passion for . Haunted by the need to own this woman, Swann forgets her tastes, her desires, her work, accepting to be manipulated and forgetting all self-respect. Petrifying image of love addiction, of the all-consuming passion of discernment. So how do I know if I am an emotionally dependent?
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Addiction could be defined by the fact that we feel that we exist through another person,that is, through him, for him or her, or even, in him.
How do I know if I am emotionally dependent? Signs that do not deceive:
- We are waiting to receive love, protection, attention, sex.
- We want the other to recognize our values, our qualities, our importance…
- We are eager for it to be able to identify our secret expectations and meet them.
- We wish to note her sensitivity in relation to our dedications, our gestures, our actions made for her. In a way, we want her to recognize our sense of sacrifice to her.
- Our life only has meaning through it and we have repeated ourselves several times to say “I would be nothing without it”.
- Without this person, we are totally lost and do not taste much anymore
- Two weeks without it and the world collapses, a real lack settles
How do I know if I am emotionally dependent?
- We need His presence to feel happy and fulfilled
- We suffer as if a part of ourselves has been ripped from us when it does not respond to our messages
- We idealize it by representing it as we would like it to be rather than as it really is
- For us, the expression “the life of two” means “the life of two”, to be one, to merge
- Desires for possession and exclusivity are becoming more and more present
- We are totally obsessed with this person and can’t stand to imagine that they know more complicity with someone other than us.
If you want to dig deeper and really understand the symptoms of affective dependence, I invite you to read the article: Affective dependence: 14 signs that prove that you are in affective dependence. (How do I know if I am emotionally dependent?)
If all these behaviors are familiar to us, then yes, we are dependent, then going from the status of “submissive” to “dominant” and vice versa.
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