Your ex husband or boyfriend has left you and you wonder how he will get feelings for me again . But you may see the situation worse than it seems. It’s typically feminine to panic right away or see the darkest side of the situation once your husband or boyfriend breaks up with you. Incidentally, dramatic behavior is also one of the main reasons why men run away from women
On the one hand, it is quite logical that you immediately think that things will never go well between you and your ex. After the breakup you fall into an empty hole and you see everything gloomy. Your frame of reference immediately becomes small and you think that nothing can be changed in reality.
You may find it strange when I tell you that your ex may still have feelings for you. I experience it so often when I start a conversation with my coachees. It often turns out that women want their husband or boyfriend to feel the way they feel, but that is not at all realistic.
Your way of expressing emotions is one that suits you, that you feel comfortable with, because you learned that from an early age. However, I rarely come across couples where husband and wife express their emotions in the same way.
“How do I get back to his feelings”
This is one of the many questions that women ask me as soon as the contact between them and their ex improves.
Some women complain that they have so little contact with their male partner. However, when a man reacts in a distant , cool way, it does not necessarily mean that he no longer has feelings. In fact, even if a man says ‘I don’t feel anything anymore’, it may also be that he ‘is upset’ that he doesn’t feel anything anymore, and that he would like to feel so much.
It should be clear that most men are not in close contact with their own feelings. Simply because they have not learned that from their parents. Most boys learn at a very young age that crying is not allowed and that you have to be strong, because crying is part of women.
How does he get feelings for me again? Start accepting the situation
If you want your ex to get feelings for you again, start by accepting that it isn’t right now. Recognizing him that he has been hurt is the first step.
In the next step you will look for emotional connection . Note: you can do that in the feminine way and he can do that in the masculine way: more focused on logic and the rational part of the relationship.
And what if he doesn’t want to talk?
If he doesn’t want to talk, or doesn’t want to talk about his feelings , there is no point in complaining about it. If you do this, you will only make it more difficult for him.
If your ex-husband or boyfriend doesn’t see a solution to the problem you are facing, he would rather run away. In that case, you are naturally tempted to say “hey, why are you running away now when we need to talk?”, But know that running away at that point doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to do anything about it. He just feels powerless at that moment and men have a very hard time dealing with powerlessness.
What am I saying so that he shows interest again
First of all, make sure you avoid asking ‘why’ questions and don’t talk to your ex about guilt. The main thing is that you always enter into the conversation constructively. So never start with “you always say….” or “You never once….” because the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ make him feel guilty and are devastating to your relationship.
If a woman realizes that something is ‘wrong’ (believe me, they realize that faster than men), while the man has no idea about it, they become very restless when you say something about it. Men want to keep control of themselves during the conversation and radiate security.
Most importantly, the conversations you have with your ex are always calm and with mutual understanding of each other’s situation.
20 reasons why his feelings disappeared
To find out how to get back feelings you get your first course have caused more
There are, of course, many reasons why men lose their feelings for their wives or girlfriends. We hereby give you the 20 most common:
- he has problems at work
- he has financial problems
- he has a friend who has a problem he cannot solve
- he doesn’t know how to solve your problems
- he sees you unhappy and doesn’t know how to make you happy
- he is afraid to commit to you (also read this article:
- you claim him too much
- he can’t see his friends from you anymore
- you show no interest in his hobbies
- he put a lot of energy and time into you, but he felt he received too little attention and appreciation in return
- you give him too little confirmation that he is good the way he is
- you’ve gone from a cheerful woman to a gloomy depressed gray mouse
- you no longer pay attention to your clothes and you do not like sexy lingerie
- you are simply not nice to him and you do not give him enough compliments
- you assume that he has to get things (because you don’t think it makes sense if he doesn’t)
- you expect things from him that he cannot deliver
- you refuse to have sex with him, so he doesn’t get a chance to show his love for you male
- he told you he had doubts about the relationship and you immediately turned it into a drama
- You show insecure behavior time and time again and hardly ever respond positively to his compliments
- you don’t praise him for doing something he’s proud of
And so there are many other causes where his feelings have disappeared
This summary is not intended to address your feelings of guilt, but it is necessary that you critically examine yourself what a possible cause (or causes) could be. It can be with him or with you, or maybe with both
But you know what could be the cause, let’s focus on the question asked by many other women “how does he get feelings for me again?”
How he gets feelings for you again: the 15 best tips
First, you should know that he won’t get his feelings back overnight. It takes a lot of patience to repair a relationship. Not only you feel the pain, but your ex too.
Before we come up with solutions on how he can get feelings for you again, let’s first approach the other side as well:
How can you prevent him from distancing himself even further from you?
In any case, make sure you don’t get caught up in endless discussions about the broken relationship. Not even as soon as you notice that you are losing control over him. Incidentally, preventing endless discussion is so important if your ex is not quite sure whether he wants to try again with you. Why is that? Well, as soon as you start talking to a doubter, he will always try to defend himself by looking for arguments. He’ll never honestly say what’s bothering him, often because he doesn’t want to hurt you any more.
In any case, never say things like “you don’t know what you’re throwing away” because then he will feel even more guilty and distance himself more from you.
So what can you do as a woman to ensure that he regains feelings for you and falls in love with you . Here are our 15 best tips:
- First, show understanding and recognition for his decision
- Tell him he’s ok the way he is and he shouldn’t question himself
- Tell him you have no expectations
- Smile at him
- look him in the eye when you talk to him
- watch your voice and intonation
- watch your attitude (non-verbal behavior)
- make sure you look sexy and well-groomed (hair, clothes, nice scent)
- tell fun, interesting stories instead of asking ‘why’ questions about the fraction.
- Tell him you are grateful to him for everything you learned from him
- Does he contact you? do not continuously respond to his proposals (be careful that you become ‘friends with benefits’)
- empathize with him (use words like ‘I can imagine that’)
- If he says he “ doesn’t know if it’s going to be okay ” put a hand on his shoulder and tell him he doesn’t have to
- let him know you don’t ‘really need’ him
- support him even if he now wants something you don’t want
Hopefully you found our tips valuable and you now understand more about what you can do to rekindle his feelings.
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