How to apologize after a couple’s argument?
It is common to argue when you are in a relationship. Many will even say that this is normal and can be healthy to put things right. It is still necessary to know how to argue while maintaining respectful communication and especially by knowing how to apologize if one is responsible for the cause of the dispute. This is essential in order not to unnecessarily indwells tensions. The way you communicate has a primary influence on the result you will achieve. In this way and regardless of the reason for your disagreement, your partner will know that you are not questioning everything, that common respect is preserved.
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Thus, you will have the opportunity to live the present moment in a positive way despite the subject of discord. Accept the faults of the other as long as they are not hurtful, do not close, listen to each other, question each other, accept to be wrong, know how to say forgiveness, do not lie down by remaining on a conflict, defuse the situation, relativize, de-dramatize. So many keys to calm the game and settle a conflict. How to apologize after an argument? Here are some concrete tips.
How to apologize after an argument? Stay calm and avoid hurtful words (How to apologize after a couple’s argument?)
To make peace, you have to feel like it.
Being in a good state of mind is essential when trying to reconcile. We must remain calm, express ourselves with sincerity, without raising our voices, in order to calm the situation.
Saying everything, and especially saying it wrongly, can hurt. We must be careful that the other does not lose face, is not humiliated by what is said.
Looking your partner in the eye and touching him gently if he is receptive is a good idea. Physical contact can be very soothing. In essence, it says, “I love you. We have a dispute, but we are linked.”
Speaking while under the influence of anger does not allow listening, it is then impossible to be receptive. (How to apologize after a couple’s argument?)
The saying “never go to bed when you are angry” is full of wisdom. Waiting too long fuels anger and can lead to greater conflict.
How to apologize after an argument? Putting yourself in your partner’s shoes
Trying to understand the other before being understood is a basic principle during an argument.
Giving the other the space to talk and resist the urge to interrupt it are two important things.
If the words do not come to him right away, then it is possible to take the lead. Ask him, ask, “How did you feel? What did you understand? He or she will be all the more attentive to what you feel, that he or she has first felt listened to.
Avoid minimizing the feelings of the other. (How to apologize after a couple’s argument?)
Accepting that the other has felt things in his own way is important. He should not be told that he should not have felt bad or that he was wrong.
Thinking in one’s place is a mistake, having preconceived ideas about what he felt or thought can ruin everything. Trying to read between the lines, to interpret can only fuel the argument.
How to apologize after an argument? Knowing how to admit one’s wrongs to question oneself
“Do I have to win at all costs, or am I trying to win my relationship?” In reconciliation, there are no winners or losers. We must not always try to be right.
Knowing how to acknowledge the harm done and explicitly asking for forgiveness is essential. This does not mean losing face or losing face for that matter. In a couple’s argument, the subject is not there. The important thing is to accept your share of responsibility. Saying “sorry, I’m sorry, I apologize, forgive me” is not a sign of weakness, on the contrary, but of maturity.
This is called knowing how to question oneself, it is a sine qua non for reconciliation. (How to apologize after a couple’s argument?)
Once the conflict has been defused, a compromise has been reached, expressing gratitude is an effective way of concluding things. Thanking the other for being a person you can talk to, moving forward then allows you to move on. Constantly revisiting a past dispute is counterproductive.
How to apologize after an argument? Do not be in bad faith
If there is one thing that should not be expressed in an argument, it is pride.
Indeed, the worst enemy during an explanation, in order to reconcile, is the ego. Too present, disproportionate as we often say, it can destroy any attempt at explanation and therefore reconciliation.
This pride, which too often awakens during an argument, is guided by bad faith and feeds it. This bad faith feeds on the ego, on a possible susceptibility, on this desire to be right that prevents us from acknowledging our wrongs.
So to apologize, you have to leave it all in the closet. (How to apologize after a couple’s argument?)
Pride and bad faith have no place when we apologize. It is not a question of taking on responsibilities that are not his own, or even of keeping one’s character quiet and forgetting oneself. No, it’s just about being fair.
To apologize effectively and not be overwhelmed by a reaction full of pride and bad faith, there is a very simple trick. That of using “I” rather than “you”. Indeed, by taking responsibility for one’s words and deeds, one is invested in reconciliation and one is not demonstrating bad faith. Example: Don’t say “You don’t make any effort to explain yourself” but rather “I need you to tell me things concretely”.
How to apologize after an argument? The “three Rs” technique
There is an effective technique to defuse an argument and know how to apologize: it is to follow the rule of the three Rs: Regret, Responsibility, Remedy. (How to apologize after a couple’s argument?)
Regret:
this element is the sincere expression of the grief caused to the other. This is how one apologizes by expressing regret if one has hurt the other, if one is responsible for the dispute. It is a bit like the “magic” phrase that helps to calm the situation and recognize its wrongs but by thinking it sincerely, not only to please the other.
Responsibility:
a good excuse should only address the actions committed, concrete and not be reasons or pretexts for the mistake made. This stage is one of a certain step backwards. We do not apologize by saying “I am sorry BUT, sorry BUT”. If the other has his share of responsibilities, reminding him in this way will only stir up tensions. To apologise and then to retract or qualify one’s apology is counterproductive.
The Remedy:
finally, a good excuse focuses on how one wishes to concretely repair the mistake made or the harm done to the other. This shows that we are really sorry for what we have done, that we have understood our mistake and that we will do our best to ensure that it does not happen again. This is the last step, after having been able to sincerely apologize, having been able to acknowledge one’s wrongs, it is the one where we show that we are learning the right lessons in order to move forward again calmly together.
How to apologize after an argument? Conclusion: by communicating intelligently
It looks simple and yet it is THE basis of everything: communication in the couple.
In order to be able to apologise, we must not break off the dialogue. Silence on the desire for understanding of the other, fleeing dialogue, turning a stand, not acknowledging one’s wrongs, showing bad faith or letting one’s ego take all the place, are obstacles to reconciliation. And mistakes that, in the long run, can become difficult to forgive.
Arguing is inherent in the life of a couple. For banalities, differences of opinion, everyday oversights or sometimes more serious subjects, this happens to everyone. Knowing how to apologize after an argument and understand the reason for it, this is how to move forward and not fall back into the same pitfall three days later or the following week.
Good communication requires genuine dialogue, reciprocity and listening, tolerance and open-mindedness.
To argue is not to enter into a conflict from which we must emerge victorious. On the contrary. This mode of operation does not solve the problem and the dispute will only escalate.
An apology must be sincere, calm, thoughtful and open the door to dialogue.
So do not let arguments weaken your couple until they break it. Talk to yourself, exchange in kindness and respect and you will see that indeed, the idea that “we argue to better reconcile afterwards” can be a beautiful truth!
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