How to react to adultery? Should we forgive?

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How to react to adultery

It is not easy to learn that we have been deceived by the person in whom we have placed all our trust. Adultery, whether frequent or not, ruins the life of a couple and leaves a deep wound in the betrayed person: loss of confidence in oneself and in others, misunderstanding and questioning. How to react to adultery? Should we forgive? Why were we deceived?

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Possible reasons for adultery:

The intimate life of your couple is reduced to nothing: (How to react to adultery)

Almost five years that you are together and your carnal relationships are reduced to once or twice a month. One is calling for it, the other is rejecting the proposal. There comes a time when the impulses really need to be satisfied: monsieur (madame) decides to go elsewhere. It is only about intimate and carnal pleasure. There is no question of going for a drink or making a movie. They meet at the hotel, do what they have to do and say goodbye to each other in all honor.

Routine has taken over:

You come home from work, you sleep on the couch. Your partner prepares the meal. No dialogue. You end up eating together, in front of the TV, to avoid having to share anything. Then your darling decides to go to bed, hard day today (like the day before by the way…). You prefer to lie on the couch, waiting for her to come to asleep peacefully. Tomorrow will be the same day, as both of you know. And you can’t get enough of this hellish routine. One of you will end up getting chilli, communication or even a little listening…. elsewhere. It’s time to make an effort!

You live for your children: (How to react to adultery)

I am addressing women here in particular. Since you had your first child, your life as a couple has taken a back seat. Your goal is to satisfy the needs and desires of your little darlings, while your companion goes a little by the wayside. You become more of a mother than a woman. He is offended and realizes that he has lost importance to you. No more kisses, no more hugs, no more carnal intercourse, so he decides to go elsewhere to fill this gap that you have unconsciously afflicted him.

You no longer take care of yourself:

For women: you no longer put on makeup when you don’t go out, the naughty outfits of the first months rot in a drawer, you nibble between meals… in short, you let yourself go completely. You do not see the point of being beautiful in front of your darling, since anyway, he loves you as you are. Except that after a while, when there is no more seduction, the couple collapses. Your companion will seek this seduction by rubbing shoulders with other women.

For men: you no longer do sports, you eat in huge quantities, your clothes are good to throw in the trash and your haircut is to make you cry. Your companion is tired of seeing you in this state, and wants to spice up her carnal life by going to see real seducers. Again, these are just physical desires.

One (one) another suddenly landed in his life: (How to react to adultery)

Your partner has met his life. He/she fell in love like that, all of a sudden, with this woman (man). Maybe he (she) was not well in your relationship without noticing it, or maybe he realized that he (she) was looking for something else. So he (she) decides to take his clicks and his clacs and build a new relationship, after having taken care to deceive you before.

He /she needs to feel seductive (seductive):

Man to woman, woman to men… these people need to feel constantly attractive. All attention must be paid to them. And to do so, they test their seductive power by browsing the mouth of their prey and prolong the discovery in a bed. These people are sorely lacking in self-confidence and constantly deceive their partner, despite the love they have for them.

Should we forgive? (How to react to adultery)

It depends on several factors: if you have been deceived once, several times or even several times with the same person. If you discovered the deception by yourself or if your partner, caught guilty, confessed everything to you. Some make mistakes and deeply regret their lack of respect, while others deceive all the time and surely, without the slightest scruples.

We can forgive a mistake:

If your darling admits to you that he /she cheated on you once, to “try” and that he (she) really regrets, that he /she loves you more than anything.

Reprisals cannot be forgiven:

When adultery is repetitive, you can remove the word “stability” from your vocabulary because if he or she has deceived you three times, and you have forgiven him or her, be sure that he or she will never stop.

Lies are no longer forgiven: (How to react to adultery)

He (she) had already deceived you once and you had forgiven him. He (she) had promised never to do it again. Yet happened. Like a woman who gets beaten, the pattern will repeat itself several times because he (she) knows your weakness.

We do not forgive someone who denies:

If, after discovering that your partner was deceiving you, the latter denies everything: do not forgive anything. If he is not even able to admit his faults, he will be able to deny many more deceptions.

Adultery often breaks couples and forgiveness is not always the solution. When we forgive someone who has lost our trust, we can no longer see him in the same way and jealousy takes a considerable place. It is therefore good to know how to make the right decisions. Even if one loves the other, one-way love is very little recommended.

But it is also good to know when one can forgive. A mistake happened very quickly. Becoming aware of this, admitting and explaining the why of the how is a great step towards lasting reconciliation. There are always periods of trouble in a couple but giving them a second life is sometimes possible.