Getting together involves daily changes. We invest ourselves deeply for a person, the one we have chosen, and this, for reasons specific to each one. We see less friends, we subscribe to the cinema, we plan weekends in love . The first few months are passionate and intense. We have this constant desire to be in the arms of the other, to feel it, to touch it.
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Then the routine comes to intrude little by little, which is neither bad nor good, but simply normal. As a result, we pay less attention to our beloved and we begin to glimpse its possible defects. in particular, his jealousy… somewhat excessive. So how do we fight it? How to eradicate it from the first months of your relationship to prevent it from breaking into the future?
Start your relationship on a sound and solid foundation (Jealousy)
From the earliest stages of your relationship, prove to them that they can have complete confidence in you. In order to preserve it and prevent its jealousy from coming to light in the near future, let it know at the outset that for you, trust is the essential element for the sustainability of a loving and solid couple. That you would like her to be transparent to you and that it will be returned to her. The fact of knowing that you are not going to hide anything from her and above all, that for you, trust and loyalty are the keys to the success of a couple, will reassure her strongly. From the very beginning of your relationship, she already knows that she is dealing with a serious man who does not want to spoil his relationship for another woman who will not be worth it.
Don’t tell them about your past mistakes
Do not mention the mistakes you may have made in the past. Your friend has – at least for the moment – no desire to know that you have cheated on your ex a good fifteen times and that she has never been aware of it. To confess your past mistakes to him is to give him the stick to make you beat. You can tell her that with her it is different, that you have never felt such love… what she will keep in mind is the image of the unfaithful and dishonest guy that you described to her, in spite of yourself. One can be sincere and in love and keep a little corner of garden secret, for your well-being to both of you. You don’t change the past but you change your behavior when you’re in love. She does not have the right to blame you for your past, but it is legitimate for her to panic when she learns of this kind of thing. So we are discreet about nonsense!
Show her that you are there for her
This sickly jealousy surely comes from a painful past. She caught her beloved dad riding on a stranger, while her mother was at work. She may have been deceived herself when she had given her trust to a man, when she had completely abandoned herself to him. She felt terribly salted and betrayed and tends to make generalities: men-are-all-assholes. If she shares her fears, doubts and difficult trials she endured before your relationship, reassure her. Tell them that you understand their suffering and that they are perfectly legitimate. But that not all guys are bastards and you’re going to prove it to him. A girl who has been marked by adultery directly or indirectly will find it much more difficult to give her trust and trust in you. It is imperative that you make him hear by your words and actions that you are a faithful, protective and trustworthy man.
Little “tricks” to prove your transparency:
Text them during your day. To tell her what you’re doing or have done, or just remind her that you’re thinking about her.
- Tell her when you are going to drink a pot with a friend.
- Avoid saying that you find another pretty girl. (Of course you find other beautiful women, and still happy! But a girl who doesn’t have confidence in herself doesn’t need to know it or hear it say).
- Be present and attentive when she is not doing well and needs to confide in her.
Make her understand that it is SHE that you have chosen
Jealousy can also come from a profound lack of self-confidence, and this may be the case for your friend. So show her that you love her, explain that you chose her and no one else. And above all, tell him why. What made it so cracking? What do you like so much about her that others don’t? It is important that she knows all this, to be sure of your love. Do not sly on compliments, do not forget to tell her that she is beautiful, that she pleases you…. If you can’t tell him directly, write him a letter where you will emphasize his qualities and what you liked so much when you met.
Spot the first signs of his pervasive jealousy
You have noticed that his behavior is somewhat suspicious. You surprised her nose on your mobile phone or spying on your Facebook messaging… Stop the harassment from the beginning of your relationship! Express your disappointment at this great lack of self-confidence. Make sure you have absolutely nothing to hide from him but that you have no desire to feel spied on. She must understand that you will not be able to live a lasting relationship with a woman always behind her back, a woman who acts as a spy more than a companion.
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