Leaving his guy
Do I have to leave it? Question from Laura
I am 17 years old and my boyfriend 21.
I am writing to you because I am in the complete muddiness, and in the blur for 1 month. It’s only been 8 months that we are together but we care a lot about each other (him much more than me). We fell in love at the same time, one for the other. Passion was at the rendezvous at the beginning.. We have the same passions (electro music, sports, guitar, and lots of friends in common).
8 months and zero dispute, not one, nothing.. no conflict or nothing.
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The love he has for me is immense, he had only one girlfriend in his life before me, who made him suffer a lot. He is very sensitive and really in love. He tells me that I am the woman of his life and that he sees his life only with me. ( Leaving his guy )
And when he told me that, I was scared because I’m only 17 years old and I want to live and I tell myself that if I wait too long I’m going to make him suffer even more. And that’s not my goal at all, yet I know he’s going to be very bad and languish on himself.. I have already told him about it and he does not really understand.
I’m lost, I know even more if I love it..
What to do in this situation? A tip please…
Thank you in advance.
Let’s start at the beginning: you are 17 years old, you have life in front of you and if you are already wondering about the love you have for your boyfriend, it would be better to stop there. You say that he loves you much more than you: when there is a sentimental gap in a couple, it is very difficult to find a balance. You stay with him for fear of making him suffer but believe me, he will suffer much more if you wait months and months or even years. ( Leaving his guy )
You talk about passion. Yes, when you start a relationship, passion is almost always at the rendezvous, it is the second step after seduction. I strongly advise you to read this article: the steps of a romantic relationship.
Then, I do not know if you have had the opportunity to read these articles and these questions from internet users but I invite you to click HERE, HERE and HERE to read testimonies of people who ask themselves the same questions as you. The last one, (Pauline’s question), comes closest to what you can currently experience.
Let’s move on to the arguments: it is very rare not to encounter conflicts in a relationship but even more so when you are young. You have absolutely nothing to reproach one another for? Do you see yourself often?
He tells you that you are the woman of his life and you get scared. It is perfectly normal to be afraid to hear this kind of thing. You are young, you still have a lot to discover and it may not be the solution to lock yourself into a lasting relationship so early. You’ve only been together for eight months and you’re already thinking about breaking up, your relationship won’t go very far now. It is now only a question of time.
Leaving his guy
You do not live together, so you are not held back by a real habit or by material goods, take off while it is still simple.
I lived a beautiful love story from 15 to 18 years old. I stayed almost three years with my first boyfriend and then one fine day, I realized that I didn’t like him anymore. We only saw each other on weekends and I clearly idealized it when I didn’t see it during the week. We didn’t often get angry either and I thought I really liked it. ( Leaving his guy )
Later, with hindsight, I realized that I had loved “Love” and not Him. He too loved me much more than I did and I was very afraid to leave him: on the one hand, I was afraid to regret him and on the other hand, I was especially afraid of his reaction. So I waited more than four months without saying anything, four months pretending: but it was getting worse and worse, I was almost coming to be disgusted because I was forcing myself. He wanted us to get engaged… I got scared, I didn’t want to tell myself that my first boyfriend would be the last (although for some it is a sweet childhood dream).
So I took my courage with both hands and left it (by text message, like a coward). He picked me up at the end of high school (when we lived two hours from the other). He was crying, begging me, I took the bus without saying anything, I left him planted there… I didn’t know what to do. I was very unhappy to see him like that but I didn’t want to give in: get back with him to leave him more beautifully in a month? No, I didn’t want that. Several times he came back by taxi in front of my house with roses or jewelry. ( Leaving his guy )
He wrote me one letter a day for six months and I thought he was never going to move on. The worst thing is that the more effort he made, the less I wanted to go back with him. I felt nothing but pity. And then one day he stopped, he found a new girlfriend and everything came back in order. Time, although it can sometimes pass slowly, is the drug for many things.
I have never regretted my choice but I have never regretted our history either. Youthful loves are often beautiful and strong but rarely lasting and it may be better that way. You will still mature and discover new facets of life, you will also change and your requirements will evolve.
Stop your relationship if you see that it doesn’t bring you much anymore and if you realize that you are not at the same stage level feelings. Don’t stay with someone for whom you don’t feel a very strong love: at 17, it would be too bad!
Hoping to have enlightened you, I await your news