My man no longer touches me
How to find the complicity of the beginnings in his couple? Over time, the couple relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we get angry. Yet we still love ourselves… So how to put your couple back on track and find the complicity and laughter that made us fall in love?
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For some time now, you feel neglected by your man? It no longer touches you, marks of tenderness are becoming more and more rare, kisses have become automatisms and let’s not talk about your intimate life. It is non-existent. He no longer takes any initiative and even worse, it has happened that he rejects your advances.
You don’t understand what’s going on, you don’t recognize it anymore. The days pass, the weeks, maybe even a few months already and you end up imagining everything and anything. My man no longer touches me: what to do? Here are some tips to help you get out of this situation.
My man no longer touches me: what to do?
Over the years, the intimate life of a couple can falter and become almost platonic at times. It is not necessarily dramatic, as long as it does not last. Indeed, the problem is not an absence of shared physical pleasure for a few weeks but that this absence becomes your daily life. If nothing is happening between you and it has been going on for a long time or is repeated very often, then it is time to understand what is happening with your partner and act accordingly.
My man no longer touches me: is it my fault?
A woman who no longer feels wanted by her man can quickly lose confidence in herself and her couple. She will devalue herself, think that she no longer arouses desire in her partner. And with these doubts come very quickly the suspicions: what if he went elsewhere? If he slept with another?
These reactions are very common in such situations and yet they are not always the answer to the problem. If your man has been less tactile for some time, it does not necessarily mean that he no longer desires you or that he prefers another. There are other reasons for this. And depending on them, you will have leads to know how to solve the situation and help your couple regain their intimacy.
My man no longer touches me: why?
A physical problem
The problem does not necessarily come from you directly, it may be much more personal and concern only him. This obviously has a direct impact on your life as a couple but you are not necessarily responsible for its lack of desire.
It is often thought that libido is only feminine, but this is false, a man too can experience a period with a low libido. And over time, desire willingly turns out to be capricious and fragile if something in his life annoys or worries him.
From a physiological point of view, depending on his age, his decrease in desire in the couple may be due to a hormonal deficiency, called andropause. A biological assessment makes it possible to verify this and, when the level of male hormones is indeed too low, a treatment based on testosterone tablets or gel will bring it up quickly.
Emotions also have a direct impact on intimate life. After a dramatic event (death, serious illness, loss of employment), due to the stress of daily life, fatigue,professional difficulties, depression and even taking medication can also explain an absence of desire. So a lot of factors can explain what happens to him.
And do not lie, if for some time your couple is not well, this lack of desire is perhaps the consequence and not the cause. If you are experiencing a period of tension with disagreements or disputes, it can directly affect your intimate life. Reconciliations on the pillow work only for a while, after that is not always enough to fix things.
So before you know what to do, take the time to find the real reason for this fall of desire on his part to adapt the best of solutions.
My man no longer touches me: what not to do
Telling yourself that he is deceiving you
The first thing you think about is that he doesn’t love you anymore because he met another woman. And that’s why it no longer touches you. Before you raise your head for nothing, try to tell him about your lack, but with kindness and without trying to pull the “worms out of his nose” at all costs.
Crisis or humiliate him
Angry, hurtful or humiliating behaviour serves no purpose. Not only will it not help you understand the reason for your couple problem, but it will also not help things. Worse, it can make it worse. So forget right away the idea of sulking, making him a scene or, worse, vexing reflections like “After ten years of marriage, my girlfriend’s husband still makes love to her every day”.
Playing the provocation card
Forcing is not the solution either. It is not by enticing him all day long, by telling him to “let himself be done” in bed that things will get better. Overly explicit advances exert a form of pressure. They are experienced as a requirement and can only increase the anxiety of the partner, thus decreasing his libido even more. So yes, you have to tell him that you still want it and that you miss it, but in no way by using stratagems that do not look like you or by pressing where it hurts every night. In the best case, making love to yourself will become a “marital duty” for him, like a chore and this will not solve the root of the problem.
On the other hand, if you should not entice him H24 and do forcing, you should not let go either. The whole thing is to know how to dose things and especially to continue to take care of yourself. It’s normal to feel unsored when you feel like you’re no longer wanted, but that’s not the reality. Do not let yourself go, this is not the solution for anyone, and you must at all costs keep confidence in yourself. And then it is not by dragging in old pajamas with oily hair all weekend that you will fix the situation, whatever the cause!
My man no longer touches me: what to do?
Talk to him
No couple exists and cannot last without healthy communication. You need to talk about it calmly with your man because the intimate life is a determining element of the couple. Even if the subject remains delicate sometimes within a couple, and especially when it comes from a man, you must discuss it to puncture the abscess and understand what is blocking it. Indeed, preconceived ideas lead us to believe that it is women who most often experience episodes of low libido. While this may be true, especially with the menstrual cycle or with pregnancy, it is not a generality. And men too can experience times when their desire is in free fall. So to understand and fix things, show understanding, listen to him and reassure him if necessary.
Arouse his jealousy
Without making tons of it or seeking revenge for the physical distance it imposes on you lately, you can try to titillate him a little by slightly arousing his jealousy. In all innocence of course! This is the famous rule of “Run away from me I follow you, follow me, I run away from you”. If one should not abuse it and seek to manipulate the other, it can sometimes serve as a trigger.
Creating a lack in him
To arouse lack and thus doubt in him, it can also make him react. Don’t let go and don’t stop living your life. Go out with your friends, do an activity just for you, go on weekends with girlfriends, do not be at his disposal all the time. Don’t just talk about that. This will create a lack in your couple and this time spent alone can also help them to understand what is happening to them and to tell you more serenely afterwards.
What if my man no longer touches me?
Break the monotony in your couple
Desire is closely linked to the overall good health of your couple. If you’ve been through a complicated time or your relationship is locked into a routine that’s becoming more and more like boredom lately, it’s no surprise that your intimate life is at a low ebb. Escaping as a duo out of the house, discovering new places or new activities together helps to revive the relationship and to take a different look at one’s spouse. All the quality moments spent in pairs forged an emotional complicity that promotes desire. Find what will give you chills, it can be dance classes, learn to massage or go to a romantic place.
Reassure him and compliment him
A man may also doubt him, his physical appearance, his ability to give you pleasure. It can develop an inferiority complex wrongly, because of a problem at work or your last hug that would have gone wrong for example. Reassuring him about his power of seduction over you and about the desire he arouses in you are the things to do so that he feels desirable again in your eyes. A sincere compliment is aphrodisiac and can unblock the situation.
Retain “selfless” tenderness
Offer him the air of nothing a massage to relax him, without ulterior motives and specifying to him, if you feel “worried” about your intentions, that it is not an invitation to more, just a gesture of tenderness. Do not stop the gestures of tenderness that you had for him until then: kisses, taking his hand, lover against him on the sofa … It is very important to save intimacy links so as not to let the distance settledown. A temporary drop in desire is not catastrophic for the couple if you maintain another form of intimacy. Indeed, fleeing any form of rapprochement, physical is not the best way to find yourself intimately afterwards.
Do a coaching or couple therapy
Nothing works? If it has been too long since desire has been present and you have been fighting for months in vain, it is because the problem is deeper. In this case, do not hesitate to consult a coach or a couple therapist. Men often have more difficulty than women in discussing their problems, especially if it is an intimate problem. They feel fear, doubts, sometimes shame at the thought of not being up to the task. If he can’t tell you directly about it, he will surely do it more easily with a professional. Discussing your worries to someone outside is sometimes easier.
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