Some relationships make you suffer: your characters are not compatible, it exasperates you, you do not agree! And then there are the others, more dangerous because vampirized by a drinker of love. I named: the narcissistic pervert.
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The narcissistic pervert is an individual, like the others at first glance. In reality, is hidden deep within him an innate manipulative force that he uses without moderation, after having done everything possible to seduce and win the trust of his partner. He is brilliant, cunning, intelligent and knows how to find his victims and identify their weaknesses particularly well. (Narcissistic pervert)
These poor victims are, at first, captivated by the dream that this malefactor of hearts sells them. And, not seeing the danger coming(what danger? It is beautiful, intelligent and offers me pplleeiiinn de cadeaauuuxx), offer themselves naively and entirely to their future executioner.
The favorite victims of narcissistic perverts
1/ They do not have confidence in her
To have confidence in oneself is to adopt an assertive behavior that is to say, to know how to take one’s rightful place in society and respect the place of others. It also means expressing one’s opinions, assuming one’s decisions, confronting others when their behaviour is unsatisfactory, knowing how to set limits.
All this to say, that a woman (or a man of course) who has confidence in her, will have quickly fired this ugly cockroach from her belongings, she will not be afraid to stand up to him. And that, the narcissistic pervert would not bear it. He therefore prefers to entice the girls a little lost, whose esteem is not at the max, who constantly devalue themselves and even take (in spite of themselves) a certain pleasure in always playing the role of the victim.
2/ They are not aware of their potential (Narcissistic pervert)
They are pretty and intelligent but have never noticed it. Perhaps their previous relationships had an impact on this, perhaps they never realized that they could please. They are full of life and energy and the narcissistic pervert will feed on this strength.
3/ They come out of an empty passage
They went through a difficult period: they were beaten by the ex, experienced depression, lost a loved one and sank… In short, something has happened and they need a human kleenex. So they throw themselves on the first caring guy, who treats them like princesses (at first). It is their savior, the one who will get them out of distress (if only they knew!). The narcissistic pervert will be happy to help them rebuild to better destroy them.
Recognizing a relationship based on narcissistic perversion
A sincere and pure romantic relationship, which works what, makes you beautiful and confident. Your eyes shine, your smile no longer peels off your face, you are serene and well in your skin and it shows: “You did something? You are luminous.” In a romantic relationship with a narcissistic pervert, it’s the other way around: your complexion tarnishes, your hair leaves grayish dandruff on your shoulders, your eczema resurfaces, your smile is extinguished just like your hopes, you feel zero and begin to persuade yourself that you are useless.
You let yourself go
Physically, you really don’t feel good in your sneakers and your friend tells you “you’re ugly”, “this dress makes you fat” “you don’t want to go and change yourself?”. He is ashamed of you and makes it clear to you. And, if at the beginning of the relationship you did everything to satisfy him, came the moment when you realized that you could do all the efforts of the world, he always found a way to demean you.
You no longer have any self-esteem (Narcissistic pervert)
Love, is supposed to bring a real increase in confidence that gives back the courage to face life, to embark on our wildest projects, to feel useful and above all, happy. Today you feel as useful as a keyless lock (ohoh nice comparison) and you hate yourself on all levels.
Your friends have been relegated to the bottom row
Your family, even your friends found it great during the presentations. But when you started calling them to tell them the real turn your relationship was taking, they hated it. However, you are convinced that those around you are jealous and that your friend is right (he has a persuasive force beyond the imaginable). The narcissistic pervert has managed to convince you that he is the only person you need,and you, you believe it. As a result, you prefer to see your loved ones as little as possible. Monsieur has done well: you are likely to find yourself alone if there is a break.
You have become a “boniche” (Narcissistic pervert)
You do everything he asks of you and in reality, you are not sure why. You are as bewitched, you answer “yes” as soon as he gives you an order. You have become a good doggie modeled as HE wanted. You have lost all joy of life and do not dare to say anything more. You are constantly sad and do not dare to talk to him about it anymore. This is normal, since it is the source of your misfortune.
You are a showman
The primary purpose of the narcissistic pervert is as follows: to be placed on a pedestal. To do this, it uses you. He constantly criticizes you in front of your loved ones in order to always show his superiority. A friend of mine stayed for a long time in a relationship with a guy like this. His complex was not to have studied and to show that he was brilliant despite everything, he constantly devalued her, proving to her by A + B that she was always wrong, and he, always right.
testimony (Narcissistic pervert)
An acquaintance to accept to testify and gives us his story with a narcissistic pervert.
I met Pierre on the internet, I immediately liked his way of speaking. I was coming out of a very “rough” period. I had had several years of deep depression and was just starting to get out of it. It was my little sister who pushed me to register on dating sites so that I get better, that I find a little esteem for myself. And it’s true that it made me feel a little seductive even if it was virtual. He invited me to a great Parisian restaurant. Me, very natural, I had come in jeans and sweater / basketball, not even makeup (I did not make up for a long time). I felt a little bad at first in view of the sublime place but it was able to put at ease. He often complimented me from our first appointment. Then things accelerated, we officially got together. Sometimes I found his behaviors strange: for example, at Christmas or for my birthday, he absolutely wanted (against my will) that I open his gifts in front of my family. After three months he offered me a diamond bracelet and then after five, a diamond ring. Without realizing it, he was already beginning to chain me with his glittering strings. Then we took an apartment together. And our relationship has deteriorated. He would constantly attack me, insult me, put his finger where he knew he was going to kill me. Worse, in front of my family he would tell me “go big ass will get bread” or that sort of thing. I was his maid. Even worse, he bought me a dress one day and when I tried it he told me “fuck my colleague was too good in this dress, you it sulk you”. The thing that fucks you a slap in the mouth. In short, it bleed me, really. And took me for a real conne. He knew how to find me at the right time, where I was at my worst. And then I ended up leaving it, I managed to do it after a year and it was very difficult but I was suffering too much.
Laura , 29 years old.