relationships tend not to last
Be careful, I prefer to start immediately with an obvious observation: Of course there are still many relationships that work and last, even today! And fortunately. If everyone did exactly as explained in this article that gives tips to make a couple last… But it’s not that simple. Between practice and theory, there is a world! So how do we explain that today’s relationships tend not to last? How can we explain that nowadays, many prefer to change their shirt rather than sew it?
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1/ Too much choice kills choice
As I explained in my article that many of you appreciated: relationships nowadays, too much choice kills choice. In a world where we find apps to find love everywhere, dating sites … It becomes difficult to be satisfied.
So, as soon as there is a problem in the couple, instead of trying to save it, to make real efforts to make it work, people tend to plug in the Happn and other Tinder… Forgetting two important things:
- First, you may look for better elsewhere, after a while, the same couple problems will arise. And then you’ll do it again? We can do this indefinitely: change partners every two/three years just to have passion in your life. But to build and find a balance, it is not won!
- Secondly, these apps make us believe that it is simple to find love. But getting Match on Tinder certainly doesn’t mean you have your soulmate on the other side of the screen! (relationships tend not to last)
Singles might tell you. I do coaching for some dating sites and I can assure you that it is not so easy to find someone who really suits. It takes a lot of time and energy if you want to get it right.
When you’ve found someone good, stop looking for someone better. Never forget that.
2 / The fear of commitment
The new generation is increasingly afraid of commitment. What for? Because they have the feeling of being on a leash and that the young people of today (be careful this is once again a generality) have an immense need for freedom. Both in love and professionally.
To commit means giving up other pleasures and it frightens many. If some are still romantic and believe in love. Many see the couple as a small death. But if you see the couple like this it is either that you have not had good models, or that you have never had the chance to meet the one that really suited you.
Because if being in a relationship requires work and effort, it’s also a wonderful thing. Because when you are happy in your relationship, it brings you all the support and affection you need. Did you have a bad day at work? You are then happy just to think that you will find your little family, your bubble of love and tranquility. Being in a couple is not the end of your personal life fortunately! But far too many people think that being in a relationship means giving exclusivity to your partner. Which would be unhealthy.
3/ A generation too liberated? (relationships tend not to last)
We are increasingly witnessing a generation of “stories with no future”. I am not saying that it is pleasant, it is in any case an observation. Intimate relationships happen too quickly, long before feelings, by the way. You sleep to feel good, like when you have a glass of wine after a difficult day. Feelings and sexuality are almost in duality which is in my opinion a shame.
Because while some appreciate the one-night stands, in the lot, a lot of people secretly hope that it will turn into a lasting relationship.
4/ What if we looked at each other too much navel?
In an era where personal development takes precedence over our lives, we tend to look at each other too much at each other’s navels. Let me explain. We see more and more on the web life coaches who teach you to find your inner voice, an ideal of life that would shake up your habits. I’m not going to spit on it, I think it’s very good that people realize that they’re not happy or fulfilled in their lives and that they’re fighting to make things better.
but. Because of all this we have the feeling of never being happy enough. And as soon as our partner will not perfectly meet our expectations, our ideal, the criteria that we had listed on a sheet a few years ago … Well, we wonder if it’s really for us.
So we find it more and more difficult to appreciate the happiness of our life, constantly having the impression that we could have more…
5/ Social networks (relationships tend not to last)
Social networks don’t help at all either, especially for two reasons:
- First, by comparing your couple to other people’s photos on Facebook or Instagram, you tend to think that yours is very bland. But never forget that people publish their holiday photos in love with their happiness. They’re not going to put pictures or videos of them arguing! It is therefore a question of ephemeral happiness. And finally, the happiest couples are those who make little use of social networks.
- Secondly, social networks are the source of many disputes in couples! Why did you remove the picture of the two of us in profile? Who is this meuf that you liké on Facebook? Why are you muscular guys on Insta?.
In short, so many reasons yet so futile that make couples separate more and more easily… While they could have lived a beautiful story.