“Should I let him go?” The answer to this question is by no means easy for many women. You may have shared joys and sorrows for years. You are so attuned to each other that letting go of an ex is not that easy.
Women are generally much more sensitive than men and usually have the most difficulty letting go of their ex. Women often make up all kinds of excuses to avoid having to take the plunge. The thought “we will never see each other again” is just too painful. We humans don’t like pain. We prefer to run away from it or rather postpone the pain.
Whether we say to ourselves “if only I am a little more comfortable” or “more patient” or just a little more “relaxed”, then he will probably fall in love again and then I don’t have to choose.
But if a man remains unreachable, should you continue with your relationship?
When Should I Let Him Go? 10 reasons to really quit
Below I’ll give you 10 reasons when you should really let go of your ex, and not just because it’s just “better”
Reason 1 to let it go: – it sucks energy from you
You probably know it. You’ve probably heard many times, “if you really want something, you’re going to have to work hard for it? Well, there is something missing in that sentence. We all agree “the sun will rise for nothing”, so you will certainly have to get started if you want to achieve something, but you should always keep an eye on “is everything still in balance? do I feel happier now? ”
If you put 90% of your energy in a partner and you never get any energy back from it, then you are losing your time and so it is time for you to say to yourself “yes, I have to let him go”
Reason 2 to let him go – there are a lot of nice other guys out there
It is easy to think “there are no nice men to be found anymore. After all, the nice men already have a partner ”, or“ I’m late ”. But that’s a lie. I’ll tell you why.
Have you ever visited a car dealer to buy a new car? Suppose you want to buy a Volkswagen Polo. You go to the dealer, you request a test drive, you watch YouTube videos, you ask for the opinion of your friends, your colleagues, and because you are now focused on the Volkswagen Polo, you suddenly see Volkswagen Polos driving everywhere.
Our brain is very powerful. With ease we filter out 99% of the information and we can focus on that one percent that remains.
But suppose you change that. Imagine saying “there are nice and reliable men everywhere”. You guessed it, you will suddenly see nice and reliable men everywhere.
Keep this in mind: if you come across a less nice and reliable man, say “ok, I’ll let this one go because I’m wasting time … what’s next?”
Become a master at discerning time wasters and focus especially on men who are worthy of your energy and time investment.
Reason 3 for letting go – One bad experience can color your judgment forever
Bad experiences in the past can cause the decisions you make to be unfounded or colored. So, through those experiences, your brain has been conditioned to assume that something is “forever true.”
Just 1 unfortunate experience, where you encountered indecisive men who were emotionally unreachable, can be enough to assume that from now on you should avoid ALL men in a certain category.
To give an example: suppose you met a man with children from a previous relationship. He can’t choose you, but he can make nice suggestions for the weekend. He also doesn’t want to introduce his children and his parents to you just yet. On a Friday evening you expect his phone call to do something fun on the weekend. His phone call is not received. You call him and you notice that he is a bit more distant and you come up with an excuse that he would rather nothing to worry about for a while.
Based on this experience, you might already be thinking “ok, I have to watch out for divorced men with kids,” so I’d better let him go, and that for good.
But let’s be honest: do all divorced men have trouble connecting emotionally and making decisions? Your logical mind will tell you “of course not,” and yet you will soon think so.
It is important that you recognize the wrong men quickly, but it is equally important that you invest in the right man.
Reason 4 – it’s 10x harder to let go than to stay
This is really in us as human beings: the more you invest in someone, the more valuable that other person becomes to you, and the more you attach to that person, the more difficult it becomes to let go.
It has been scientifically proven that when you experience an orgasm with a man during sex, a chemical connection is created in the brain, similar to that created when you use cocaine. Not only that, but also when you kiss, pet each other, in short physical connection where you experience pleasure and safety creates chemical connections in the brain that stimulate emotional connection and physical attachment.
So even if you say to yourself “It’s okay, I know this relationship isn’t going to work, I have to let him go, he’s just a fuck buddy,” your body will still disagree.
One day you will wake up and realize “damn it, I think I’m in love with him”. Even if you realized that he is treating you like shit, you would still find it incredibly difficult to let him go.
Just because you’re in love with him doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together. Being in love is a phase of madness. Because of the chemical compounds in your brain you can only focus on 1 man. That is also the reason why many women sometimes do not understand in retrospect why they have fallen for a particular man. They also often confuse falling in love with true love.
So recognize the signs in time, and even if it is so difficult, you will have to cut off all contact and go into the healing process, yes even embrace them.
Reason 5 to let it go – it destroys your self-esteem
The fact is that men are extremely attracted to women when they:
- radiates a lot of self-confidence
- happy with herself and her own life
- is emotionally independent , and certainly not pushy
- gets the best out of themselves, every day
But if you keep clinging to the wrong man because you are constantly being rejected, your self-worth is not affirmed, if he is not meeting your needs (and even cares about it), then you lose your self-worth.
- you no longer feel attractive
- you don’t feel welcome anymore
- you don’t feel special anymore
- you feel that you are not worthy of being loved
Because this man doesn’t let you experience all those things consistently, maybe very occasionally (so that you can stick to him and he can suck all your energy out of you), but never consistently.
We would like to believe that we are strong as women, and that we don’t need a man to feel appreciated… .. the reality is different!
Most women derive their self-esteem and confidence based on how men treat them. Or rather, how the important men in their lives treat them.
If you have a man who doesn’t really love you and you still wonder “should I let him go,” then you are sabotaging and conditioning yourself to believe that you are not worthy of being loved. You then also take this baggage with you in a subsequent relationship. Don’t do it to yourself. Let go of him and regain your self-worth.
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