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Still believing in love

It has not always been a long, quiet river without waves or opposing currents. It has not always been pink as they say, passionate or romantic, without worries.

There have been turmoils, ups and downs, arguments, screams, even crises.

Bursts of voices to shake the walls, silences fraught with reproaches, tears carrying rage and sadness. Disagreements, misunderstandings, distance, tensions.

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A fed up with the routine, the daily grind that eats, a boredom sometimes, doubts, an absence of desire, the flame that flickers.

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Yes, there have been all this and there are still days with and days without, reproaches, words that carry away, silences that move away, tears that frustrate.

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But, despite those moments, they are still there. together. A two. Welded, bound, united, against winds and tides. Sincere, in love. (Still believing in love)

Oh, without a hold not in love as on the first day, but always with one with the other, benevolent, concerned about the happiness of the other. Continuing to advance on the same path of life even if it has sometimes been tortuous. Their strength surely lies in this acceptance that not everything can be perfect. They know that. They recognize that. But that doesn’t take anything away from commitment, love, dedication, sense of family.

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This sincerity of the heart and this desire to lead a happy life for oneself and for the other, with the other, break down the obstacles. Not without tears, not without trouble. But recognizing the difficulty, overcoming things together, questioning ourselves and giving ourselves the means to move forward, to continue together, was obvious.(Still believing in love)

And they did. They do.

they? These couples always together after ten, twenty, thirty, forty years of living together or marrying. Our parents, our grandparents.

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A model? An ideal? Or a vision of the couple and the outdated love, impossible today? The love that lasts is no longer in tune with the times, it seems. Should we accept it, is it logical, symptomatic of our current societies, of our consumption methods? Is this inevitable?

It is often said that before, in the time of our grandparents, couples stayed together out of obligation. Let us not separate ourselves by tradition, out of fear of the gaze of others, of what we will say about it. That women did not leave for lack of profession, of means, that they muzzled their desire for freedom. For fear of judgment. That we stayed together because we had committed ourselves to life in front of witnesses, that it was not “done”. Some even say that love did not necessarily count, that feelings were optional. Whether they are there or not, whether they evaporate over the years or not, we had to stay.

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This is true for some couples, as it always is. Staying together out of habit, comfort, fear of the unknown, of the gaze of others, out of obligation, out of fear of loneliness. It will always exist. (Still believing in love)

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But what matters, isn’t it rather the happiness of couples who go through the years together, who have made their love a strength to build a happy life for two?

Disamour is something sad, painful and one cannot force oneself indefinitely to pretend to love the other. But loneliness is also hard to live with. It is said that we know what we lose, never what we gain. That you have to stop looking for someone better when you have found someone good. San play with proverbs, without glorifying the couple, of staying together at all costs, there is still a huge part of truth in all this.

As we know, there will be trials to go through. Life is made that way. But alone or as a couple, life has unpleasant surprises in store. Isn’t it better to be accompanied to face them? Yes it is true the couple can generate tensions, contradictory feelings, uncertainties. But isn’t it better to suffer from love to love better afterwards than to never feel anything?

What if we took the time, quite simply? (Still believing in love)

The time to look at each other, to tame each other, to discover each other, to get acquainted with each other. The time to see and look at each other, to talk to each other and confide in each other, to listen to each other and to hear each other, to console and let go, to support and to stimulate oneself? Simply share? Take the time to feel, desire, love? Allow time for sensations, emotions, feelings to be born and hatch. To the love to settle down, really.

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This is often boiled down to a phrase, marriage or not, “for better or for worse.” Usually the worst happens when you tear yourself apart and eventually leave yourself. Not when you choose to stay together. To each his model, to each his conception of love, of the couple, of happiness to two.

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When I look at them, I know the hardships they have gone through, the doubts that have sometimes shaken them. (Still believing in love)

But I also see and above all the unique bond that defines them, the strength of love that is still there despite everything, that moves them forward. Maybe I’ve matured. Simply aged. My view of things of love has changed because I myself have understood the importance of compromises, concessions, dialogue while remaining myself. The need to question oneself while sharing even negative emotions. I have always admired and been moved by these couples who go through time together but I had this question, this doubt in mind: “do they still love each other, really?”

I wondered if it was possible, if it made you happy, if you could continue to love yourself despite the wear and tear of love. (Still believing in love)

Today I understood that yes, love that lasts, it exists. That for some it will always be as fusional and passionate, for others it will be more tender, more affectionate. I don’t care.

To each his way of living love, of loving, of being in love. His way of sharing it, feeling it, living it. As long as this vision of love is shared and reciprocal, as long as we are on the same wavelength. As long as there are two of us.

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To you who have loved you for so long in your own way, who build your couple day after day, who have understood that love reinvents itself and must be preserved. That when something is damaged, it can be repaired and not necessarily thrown away. To all of you who “don’t mess with love”, thank you, you are a source of inspiration.

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