The 5 facets of love
« Love is such a complete feeling that its cleavage into several components might seem blasphemous. The mission of love is to unite two beings in one whole. But it is precisely for this reason that it is very important to understand what love is and not to take it only for one of its components”, says Mikhail Epstein, one of the great critical thinkers of our time.
To write this article, I will be inspired and take my sources in the book “Love, The great book of love” which is a bit my Bible of the moment!
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Here are the 5 facets of love:
Desire is a form of dependence that is both joyful and nagging towards the other. This is the most discussed aspect of love. It is to be distinguished from the sexual desire which is oriented towards the other as an object. The desire for love is more complex than the sole physical desire since it interferes with the desires and reticence’s of the other.
Inspiration is rather the freedom, the freedom to become someone we have never been before. For some, love is the most inspiring experience of life, while it is not “the most”, it is nevertheless an inspiring and fascinating experience. Two people in love are two creative, inspired and inspiring people, not because they paint or make music together but because they “create each other in the very process of love. «
3/ Pain ( facets of love )
Love is a bit of a bet on the infinite, on the “always”, so suffering is inherent in love. For some, suffering is even synonymous with Love, “if I suffer, I love”. Certainly, it is a little sado-maso but at the same time, the word passion comes from the Latin “patio” which means suffering! To be in love is a bit like being a prisoner without bars, since we become in a certain sense, dependent on the loved one.
“Love is not born without pain, and to soothe this pain, we have the choice: either numb ourselves, become less sensitive and less loving, or become more loving, shed blood, impregnate our outer heart and make it our own.”
Tenderness in love is somewhat seen as the gift of self, offering to the other without waiting in return. Tenderness allows the loved one to avoid all the pain as much as possible.
5/ Compassion ( facets of love )
« The object of compassion is the weakness of the loved one.” Attention, compassion and love should not be confused: love without compassion can be sublime and passionate but it lacks a primordial dimension: compassion, that is to say, the perception of the weaknesses of the other and above all, his acceptance.
Even if we fall in love with a person for his strength, his intelligence, his beauty, at a time when another we perceive his vulnerability. Once we discover the latter and love it, love is all the more beautiful and true!
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