The causes of romantic breakup
To separate, to leave the other, to break up, to leave, to divorce. So many synonymous verbs that concretize the reality of a love breakup. This is never trivial, it is not a decision that is taken lightly. After a few months or years together, whether it is our initiative, that of our partner or a joint decision, amicably as they say, it is obviously never done without reason.
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Due to the wear and tear of the couple or much more serious, the causes of romantic breakup are multiple, specific to each relationship. And yet they can be grouped into a range of similar causes, cited at each separation. “I’m leaving you”, “It’s better to separate”, “We broke up”, “He wants a divorce”. In each of these sentences, a common question: why? The causes of romantic breakup: 10 causes that come up all the time.
Cause of rupture N°1: thestress of everyday life
Stress, that ugly word of our time, is increasingly prized and especially felt. Usually due to professional life and social pressure, it has a real impact on the life of a couple. Problems such as lack of money, loss of a job and a period of unemployment, or conversely a career that takes up too much space, are blows to the balance of the couple.
Generators of stress and anxiety, they panic the practical life before destroying the sentimental life. We no longer see each other, we no longer share moments of relaxation and pleasure. One of the two is so focused on his problem or his goal that he shuts himself in and no longer shares anything in his relationship. Yes, stress can destroy a relationship unfortunately.
And this inevitably leads to misunderstandings, distance and tension. Then comes arguments and communication problems. (The causes of romantic breakup)
Cause of rupture N°2: communication problems
At the birth of a relationship, we are convinced that “love is stronger than anything”. But that’s not counting the everyday disputes that can blow everything up. Misunderstandings create tensions that turn into disputes. This can be contextual, due to a temporary situation.
But this often highlights incompatibilities of character or vision of the couple, hidden at first by feelings. But sometimes the deadline is only postponed. Living with someone who has character traits that we do not support generates tensions in the couple and these incompatibilities lead to increasingly important communication problems.
We no longer understand each other, we no longer know how to talk to each other without shouting, unable to exchange serenely. The home is then no longer a reassuring cocoon but a highly explosive place where it is no longer good to live.
These communication problems are sometimes accentuated by too marked differences between the two partners, such as differences in age, culture, religion or social background.
Cause of rupture N°3: too marked differences
The saying goes that “opposites are attracted” and this may be true. Indeed, love is enriched by difference and there is nothing more beautiful than this open-mindedness that love allows. But betting everything on the difference in your couple, it can be dangerous and create an imbalance and then a distance.
A significant age gap, such as religion, cultural or social origins, is like politics, and these are sensitive subjects that must sometimes be avoided. But in a couple, you can’t run away from it. Whether on the subject of marriage or on the upbringing of children, differences of opinion can arise and create tensions.
At the beginning of a relationship, we try not to ask ourselves questions but evading the subject is useless because if we want to go further, we will have to talk about it at one time or another. And the sooner the better.
The questions are simple: what will be the impacts of these differences? Will one of the partners have to make efforts, concessions, accept a change in life, vision of the couple and the family? (The causes of romantic breakup)
And then, being in a “mixed” couple whatever you mean to this term, it also means opening up to a family and friendly circle different from yourself. And this is another potential vector of tension.
Cause of rupture N°4: family and friendly tensions
Who has never dared to complain about his mother-in-law, the invading friend of his darling or the hysterical best friend of his companion? The problem related to his in-laws can strongly impact his couple especially if one of the two has never really left the family nest and cut the cord
A simple example: you are not appreciated by mother-in-law. This feeling is or usually becomes reciprocal. Either your partner knows how to handle this situation and separate feelings for his mother from feelings for his partner; or it will be influenced and it will harm your couple.
The omnipresence of one’s family or best friends has a direct impact on the couple. A negative impact. Between criticism and rejection of the other by his own, it becomes difficult to preserve a healthy space for his couple without distancing himself from parental or friendly influence.
Is the couple then strong enough to face this? A clarification? A family or friendly clash? Sometimes even cut the bridges? And when the in-laws get involved too much in the education of the children, then the subject becomes highly sensitive.
Cause of rupture N°5: a different conception of family life
The arrival of a baby
The arrival of a baby is a happy but disruptive element. Fatigue due to too short or white nights causes some tension, this is not anecdotal. We can’t stand this lack of sleep and all these changes. We become unpleasant, irritable. Depending on the character of each and the feelings that bind the couple, this can unfortunately lead to the breakup.
And be careful, if your feelings are fragile, a child will only postpone the deadline of a breakup, he will not be a solution to your problems. You never have a child to save your couple.
For women, becoming a mother does not mean forgetting to remain a woman. This is important for the survival of your couple. But men must also understand all the hormonal and physical upheaval caused by pregnancy and childbirth. You have to be patient and fair.
Disagreement over child-rearing and family life
Making a baby is just one step. Then comes the education of the children and we go from a couple’s life to a family life. Some are actually not prepared for it, some do not have the same family ideal.
The investment is then different between the two parents who reproach each other either for being only a parent, or for not being parent enough.
Having children is a source of immeasurable joy but can also be a cause of separation for couples who do not project themselves in the same way.
Some no longer know how to function together when they move on to the family unit stage, because they have evolved differently.
Cause of rupture N°6: different evolutions (The causes of romantic breakup)
Who can predict what we will want to experience and who we will be in 10 years? Our character traits are more or less stable over time. But our aspirations and way of life can change.
One may want to travel while the other wants another child. One may want to change his professional path and move while the other aspires to a quiet life. There are many scenarios in which couples can find themselves in danger, and find themselves testing their love, their solidity, their complicity.
If everyone’s goals change, but not together or at the same pace, then your daily life will change too. And if your partner is no longer in tune with you, then living together could be compromised.
Sometimes sacrifices are perceived as a one-way street and generate frustration and resentment. A relationship must be reciprocal and made of daily efforts to find its balance and endure. Not evolving together, at the same pace, by having common projects leads irremediably to boredom, to this gap that is growing between the two.
This gap so well known to couples that is called routine.
Cause of rupture N°7: the routine or wear of the couple
Habits can lead to weariness, it is a goal to which all couples are exposed in the long term. Living permanently together requires a regular reinvention of the relationship so as not to sink into routine. It is not necessarily time-related. Some relationships fall very quickly into routine.
When one of the partners is bored in his life as a couple, he will first turn to his friends to change his ideas or to a sports or cultural activity to find a derivative. It will keep him busy, much like children can occupy a couple until they leave the family home, but it will not solve the problem. We will just try to bury it, to find other reasons to make plans.
But as we go along, we will move away from the other and we will flee our home. Because it will be synonymous with suffocation.
And, when we talk about wear and tear in the couple, routine, the main risk is the unknown, it is temptation. This is perhaps what some miss the most: the passion of the beginnings. Nothing is ever acquired in a couple and it takes a lot of love to compensate for the lack of passion.
Unfortunately, who says routine in the couple often says decrease in desire and absence of intimate life.
Cause of rupture N°8: an absence of intimate life
We often hear “The s.e.x.e, it is not the most important in the couple”. This can be true depending on how each one works. But physical desire is often the cement of the couple’s complicity. It is a vector of tenderness and passion, reconciliations and reunions, sensuality and intimacy.
Over time, hormonal changes due to age and this famous routine, the couple may suffer from a mutual carnal disinterest. It is advisable to talk about it and ask for help so as not to let the situation stagnate until it becomes insurmountable. The most difficult thing is if this decrease in desire, this lack of libido concerns only one of the two.
If you always put your intimate life at the center of your couple and not your partner, or vice versa, you open the door to frustration.
And frustration raises questions about your power of seduction and the love that your spouse has for you.
No longer having privacy can cause the ruin of your couple. Directly or indirectly, in a more insidious way, even more painful. Because sometimes, this whole journey leads to lies and infidelity.
Cause of rupture N°9: infidelity and lies (The causes of romantic breakup)
Infidelity is a major cause of rupture when adultery is discovered or confessed. Or more simply, when the partner prefers the lover or mistress.
It is a cause that itself has its various and varied causes: the need to seduce, the search for a lost confidence, the emotional lack. There is no silver bullet against infidelity, but the risk of it happening can be reduced. To find oneself together, especially when one has children, in order to find a complicity and the intimacy of the beginning of the relationship, is one of the bases of the durability of the desire. And then, sometimes, some people deceive while loving their partner. Loving and deceiving is not as incompatible as one thinks.
Many unions end as a result of adultery, especially when it takes place during the first years of marriage. You can always use the traditional “it didn’t mean anything”, “she or he doesn’t mean anything to me”,but in the majority of cases, it doesn’t work.
There are no small or big lies. If the trust is gone, you’re not there for a long time either.
Cause of rupture N°10: abusive behavior, harassment, abuse, violence
Sickly jealousy, psychological harassment, latent neuroses can burst into the open or develop at all times of married life and give the impression of sharing one’s life with a stranger.
They can lead to forms of verbal but also physical abuse and tip you into the throes of domestic violence.
This cause of rupture is the most serious of all, it is a source of trauma. In this case, do not hesitate to ask for help and leave to save yourself. Simply save your life. Even if you loved or still love this person, or at least you think so, on his part it is about manipulation and abuse, not love.
Your relationship has become toxic, dangerous and it is no longer a question of identifying the causes but of fleeing this relationship as soon as possible. Abusive behavior is not appropriate within a couple.
And that they are a cause of rupture is logical but above all it means that the one who is abused has found the support and the courage to leave. And that’s the main thing in this kind of situation.
Consequence: disamour (The causes of romantic breakup)
By all logic, disamour is a bit what comes to put an end to any relationship. Disamour is often the consequence of the reasons mentioned above. The feelings that run out of steam and eventually disappear al., it’s not by magic, by chance, for nothing.
To come to disillusion the one we loved passionately and sincerely, there must be real reasons.
On the other hand, even if it takes one or more of the causes of rupture cited to arrive at the famous conclusion of “I no longer love you”, not to love oneself anymore does not always mean to leave oneself. Some people, some couples, despite the shortness of breath of the feeling of love, stay together.
Other feelings, such as affection or tenderness, less strong than love, are enough for them to perpetuate their relationship. To continue projecting themselves together, some do not put love first. A question of choice, character, experience, fear sometimes, that of leaving one’s comfort zone.
Be that as it may, no longer loving the other can be both a cause and the consequence of everything that disunites the couple. “I don’t love you anymore, I’m no longer in love with you because…”, there is always a reason behind disamour, whether it is explained or not.
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