The fear of losing the other in love
Some will say that to love is already to take a risk. The risk of losing the person you love so much, the one you have chosen to share your life and project yourself into the future. Is it too radical to think in this way, or is it justified? It’s human to be afraid, the fear of losing the other in love. Nothing is ever acquired in life, and especially not in love. In romantic relationships, we are afraid that the other will stop loving us or that he will start to love another! The difficulty is to manage to love despite this fear, to be in a relationship in spite of it, and without it being unlivable on a daily basis.
The fear of losing the other in love should not condition your vision of love or take up all the space if you are in a couple. We must succeed in balancing things so that this fear does not ruin our lives. Where does this fear of losing the other come from? Why are we afraid? How to manage it and live with it? And can we get rid of it? So many questions on this subject that can be asked and of which here are some elements of answer.
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Where does this fear of losing the other in love come from?
As with many other fears, this kind of fear often comes from childhood. It is associated with the fear of abandonment or rejection. And also to the belief that one is not good enough to be loved, to a lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, to a problem of valorization. People who have an almost panicked fear of losing their loved one are often those who have developed a strong feeling or complex of inferiority.
A fear born in childhood
If as a child, you have experienced the separation of your parents or the early loss of a loved one, it is very likely that you have developed this fear of abandonment. It is legitimate and it is explained by an emotional deficiency, a traumatic injury, a lack of love that has created over time a fear of losing the people we love or not being loved. It is a fear that is just asking to resurface when you feel that the risk may present itself, that your partner puts a little distance between you.
A lack of self-confidence (The fear of losing the other in love)
It therefore often comes from low self-esteem. You have never been valued, you have never felt totally confident or truly loved, so you doubt the love your partner has for you. You even think you don’t really deserve it so you think you can lose it at any moment.
So we come back to this possible inferiority complex that results from this lack of self-confidence. You think that the other is too good for you, so it makes sense to be afraid of losing it and having trouble reasoning.
A risk of emotional dependence
Being in a relationship by feeding this fear of losing the other obviously does not allow to build a healthy and balanced relationship in the long term. By force, the couple suffers this fear and suffers from a fear that can harm the couple. How? Often, the partner who lives with this fear develops a form of emotional dependence on the other. And from the fear of losing the other, one can arrive at possessiveness or even sickly jealousy. Hence the interest in not letting this fear take up all the space.
As you will have understood, to live your love story well, you must learn to control this fear of losing the other. And to control it, you have to know where it comes from. Of course this list is not exhaustive but these few reasons explain most of your fear of losing the other. Once the reasons have been identified, you can now try to control this fear with some advice.
How to control this fear of losing the other in love?
One of the first things to do to control this fear, and indeed all fears, is to confrontit. It will be essential for you to get there so that your current relationship if you are in a couple, or the next one, is healthier, more balanced and therefore more serene. Be aware that living in fear will not allow you to fully live your relationship.
Facing your fear
You can start by talking to trusted people like a family member or your best friend who can help you get a clearer picture. The main thing is to feel confident with this person. The goal is for you to remove that fear that is in you and that floods you with all kinds ofnegative emotions and limiting beliefs that ruin your life.
If you do not want or can not open up to your loved ones, you can consult a professional, a psychologist, a therapist,who will help and guide you. Know that the people you entrust will be benevolent and there to help you and support you in your approach. That is their role, no judgment is to be feared.
Relativizing one’s fear (The fear of losing the other in love)
After facing it, you have to learn to relativize your fear. When a fear takes up all the space, we can no longer take a step back from our emotions and our way of seeing things. Still, it is essential to learn how to tame or get rid of them.
If you are in a relationship, imagining your life without your partner can help you put things into perspective. It may sound strange but it makes a lot of sense when you think about it. And that can be a click. The goal? Understand and admit that even if you separate from your partner, your life will not end there. Obviously you will suffer but life will continue anyway. The lesson to be learned from this is to say that your life belongs to you. Even if the absence of the other will make a void, you will learn again to consider yourself as a person in its own right and to give your existence a direction, the right one, without this fear that governs you.
Personal development assistance
Whether you are single or in a relationship, personal development is an effective way to help you overcome this fear of losing the other. Remember that at the heart of this fear is your lack of self-confidence that feeds it. And personal development is the solution to gain self-confidence, regain self-esteem and love oneself. Through readings, exercises, positive affirmations, meditation, personal development will help you overcome your fears and limiting beliefs.
How can we heal from this fear of losing the other in love?
Thanks to these different tips, you will be able to relativize your fear and rationalize it. And so engage a personal work to learn how to, little by little, get rid of it. Or in any case, no longer let her take control of your life and direct your romantic relationships.
Indeed, you are no longer a child with that feeling of helplessness that can be felt as a child. Now you have the power to take charge of your life. So you’re going to learn to put things into perspective.
Trust, the key element
For example, as a couple, you will be able to tell yourself that if your partner moves a little away or is a little less receptive to your requests, it is because he may simply be tired or worried because of his work. So the best way is to communicate and talk about it calmly. It is almost certain that he will be touched to see you worried and that he will take the time to reassure you.
If your relationship is nascent or about to take place, working on yourself from the outset will allow you to embark on a romantic relationship in a balanced way. And it is obvious that to heal this fear of losing the other in love, you have to nourish your self-esteem and put at the center of your current or future couple confidence at all levels.
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