The stages of a couple: from the meeting to the breakup

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stages of a couple

Everyone seduces in his own way, each one builds in his own way, everyone evolves, doubts in his own way. The love game remains generally the same for all and we will detail its different stages from the meeting to the breakup:

Step 1: The meeting

Step 1 may vary depending on the person and the meetings. There are two of them:

• Love at first sight: The famous, long-awaited love at first sight, that timeless moment when the world stops turning and the light only lands on one and the same person. During a love at first sight, we do not really fall in love with the person we meet, we fall in love with the idea we have of it and the fantasized relationship we could live with him.
• From reality to dream: This scenario is more common (80%): we meet a person, we distinguish some of his characteristics in a more or less objective way. The more days pass, the better we are with her, it is the crescendo in love.

In both cases, this first step can be compared to a dream, to a beautiful idyll where only the qualities are in the game.

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Step 2: The state of love ( stages of a couple )

Your relationship has been going on for a little while now, you are happy, well in your sneakers, there are not really shadows on the board. You both have plans for the future: why not buy together? A child? A dog? The goals of life seem common to everyone and everything is going well in a state of semi-reality.

During this phase called “passionate phase”, we have this intoxicating feeling that with this person we will only know happy days. That no shadow could come to tarnish this wonderful picture. So, we often want to rush things: see each other often, live together, have children..

Step 3: Routine

Routine can hinder many couples when it is not accepted by both partners. The real problem is not to have some habits in the relationship… The problem exists from the moment both partners think that the couple is a natural state and that from the moment there is love, there is no effort to be made. If you do not feed your couple, if you do not spice it up, if you are not ready to compromise for the other, then the relationship is difficult to viable.

Step 4: Doubt ( stages of a couple )

Your partner’s flaws – which have always existed but you didn’t see – start to get a little too present for your taste. His way of whistling every morning, his refusal to pay anything, his party side… Anything that didn’t bother you before starts to annoy you deeply. 

Sexual desire decreases, you make love because it is necessary, to persuade you that everything is fine but pleasure and envy are no longer really at the rendezvous. Sometimes you even dream of elsewhere, wondering how it would be with someone else… You have the feeling of living in a flat share, you no longer share much.

Step 5: Clinical death

I will take up in this step the words of Brigitte Lahaie in her book “Love and you”:

« If the couple does not react, they quickly find themselves in a critical situation. Everyday life and reality carry all their weight and all traces of dreams have disappeared. This is the phase of clinical death: two former lovers live together with difficulty to share the burdens of the household and the education of children in a parento-economiccouple. We then only mimic the game of love without believing in it anymore.“ stages of a couple

Step 6: The break

The break is the ultimate phase, the phase that proves that we have not made enough effort to avoid the shock. The slightest behaviors, the slightest words of the other become simply unbearable, it is no longer possible to endure even his presence. The negative points accumulated, the finger was not put on it (not enough or too late). You feed yourself emotionally by the fantasy of a new partner.