The stages of a couple: Passion, opposition and balance

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The stages of a couple

There are different stages that occur throughout the romantic relationship. It is normal to go through phases of euphoria, then to come down to earth, to ask questions, to become a little more independent of each other, to live difficult moments where one feels rejected while the other asks for more freedom, where one has the feeling of loving more than the other and vice versa. All these feelings, these stages are known to all couples. Let’s see together the three stages of a couple.

The 4 steps of a couple:

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Stage of a couple #1: Passion

In the popular sense, as we understand it at first glance, passion would be synonymous with a strong affection or even admiration, but also synonymous with “intense love”. Passion would be “a very strong emotion that (would) go against reason”. Philosophy has also been interested in this concept. (The stages of a couple)

It goes beyond the widespread connotations associated as we have just seen with love, romance and which is automatically linked to a feeling of joy. “The philosophical notion, in contrast, is identified by emotional states biologically perceived as anger, dislocation, or the like of the seven deadly sins. In the modern sense, passion is an exclusive inclination towards an object, a lasting and violent emotional state in which a psychological imbalance occurs (the object of passion excessively occupies the mind). In the end, everything is connected.

The passional (or fusional) phase corresponds to the beginning, it is located between the phase of seduction and the phase of opposition.

The feeling of well-being (The stages of a couple)

A feeling of well-being invades both lovers and everything seems embellished, the daily problems lose their importance, their love is enough. You are well aware of this period when you can lie in bed all weekend looking at yourself honeyedly, smiling stupidly, watching stupid movies that we don’t even listen to. Yes, I’m talking about that period when you can have sex five times a day without ever getting tired of each other’s body, always asking for more and more. This period when one wakes up with sparks in one’s eyes while discovering the other still asleep. This period where there is finally no story between the two beings but where the lovers are totally blinded by the dummy perfection of their partner.

Each seems to correspond perfectly to the expectations of the other, we do not yet realize the points of divergence, only the common points arouse attention and seem extraordinary: “You also like to take baths? It’s crazy how much we look like each other!” Every detail is a pretext to prove to each other the commonalities.

The crisis of tears when the other is not there (The stages of a couple)

This period can sometimes lead to some crises of tears: lack, absence, feeling of abandonment. The feeling of love does exist, unlike Love. And this feeling is so strong that as soon as our half is far from us, we feel an unhappiness, a sadness hitherto unknown, as if we had been torn away from us a part of ourselves.

In short, this is a phase where hearts intertwine and where we do not ask ourselves questions. We are happy, why would we ask ourselves questions?

But this period cannot last indefinitely…

Stage of a couple #2: The opposition (The stages of a couple)

Unfortunately for us, human beings have a natural tendency to get tired, to love contradiction and to rationalize far too much. The opposition phase is often very badly experienced by either of the two partners.

Let me explain: after a while, the fusional phase fades (1 year / 2 years / 3 years or more, it all depends on the context: if you live together, if you are at a distance …) and one of the two lovers begins by distancing himself from his couple. He begins to oppose the other, to no longer acquiesce in every sentence, to no longer agree, to point the finger at the famous differences and defects of the other that have remained in the shadows until now.

The questions that we ask ourselves during the opposition phase of the couple:

This period is often experienced as disillusionment. One has the impression that one has been taken away by the goods if I dare put it that way. And it is often at this time that many couples separate. The first REAL arguments occur, we no longer understand each other or at least, we have the impression that the other can no longer understand us, a period of frustrations and doubts: (The stages of a couple)

– Why did he love me so much before?

– He prefers to go see his friends rather than stay with me in the evening … Does he have a mistress?

– What happened? We loved each other like crazy, we never got bored even when we had nothing to do.

– He reproaches me for never doing the dishes but he never extends the laundry. I find it really inflated. Humm it has changed too much I do not recognize it anymore.