What does the expression I love you also mean in love?
It is impossible to think of this expression without humming the famous song by Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin. And besides, that’s where everything seems to come from. Since this song, which was a real success in 1969, the expression “I love you neither” has entered the common language.
Maybe you’re in a relationship like that. Between you it was love at first sight. However, remaining on your guard, you wait for the other to manifest what he feels. Let him run after you like crazy. But you were too late, too long and when you decided to show your feelings, it was he who started to play, to be distant. Game of seduction? It’s fun at first, symbol of passion. But normally the relationship stabilizes quickly. Except that in your case, it’s been going on for a long time. Too long. One day I love you, one day I hate you. I love you but I can’t tell you.
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You love me but I don’t know how to understand you. We look for each other and we push ourselves away. We want to and we flee. Welcome to the vicious circle of “I love you, neither do I”. What did Gainsbourg mean by that? How was this interpreted at the time? And above all, what does the expression I love you mean either in love?
Je t’aime moi non plus : an expression born with the song of Serge Gainsbourg
The story of the scandal of the song “Je t’aime moi non plus”
” Je t’aime moi non plus “ is a French song written, composed and sung by Serge Gainsbourg, in duet, first with Brigitte Bardot in 1967 and then with Jane Birkin in 1969.
At the end of 1967, Brigitte Bardot asked Serge Gainsbourg to write her “the most beautiful love song he could imagine”. He wrote to her in a single night the duet Je t’aime moi non plus.
As soon as it was broadcast on the radio, the scandal broke out: Gunter Sachs, Bardot’s husband, immediately threatened legal action. There will be no other broadcast on the radio, the record will not be released and it is the sentimental breakup. (What does the expression I love you also mean in love?)
In 1968, Serge Gainsbourg starred with Jane Birkin, then a little-known young English actress, in the film Slogan. A new love story begins. Serge Gainsbourg, frustrated by the ban on the previous recording, asked Jane Birkin to perform the song with him. The album was released in 1969.
The single was banned from sale in some countries, while the record company preferred to replace the title on the album with ” La Chanson de Slogan“. Officially returned to its author, Gainsbourg entrusted the exploitation to another production company.
The song “Je t’aime moi non plus”: the reasons for the scandal
Jane Birkin is only twenty years old and the song is not only suggestive. For some, it is obscene. We speak of “duo in minor rattles”.
Very shocked, the daily Il Giornale d’Italia wrote in its columns: “In the space of three or four minutes, Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin emit as many sighs, complaints and grunts as a herd of elephants mating”
Lyrics of the song “Je t’aime moi non plus” (What does the expression I love you also mean in love)
I love you, I love you, oh, yes I love you… Me neither
Oh, my love, like the unresolved wave
I go, I go and I come between your kidneys
I go and come between your kidneys
And I hold back
I love you, I love you oh, yes I love you… Me neither
Oh my love you are the wave, me the naked island
You go, you go and you come between my kidneys
You come and go between my kidneys
And I join you
I love you, I love you, oh, yes I love you… Me neither
Oh, my love like the unresolved wave
I go, I go and I come between your kidneys
I go and come between your kidneys
And I hold back
You go, you go and you come between my kidneys
You come and go between my kidneys
And I join you
I love you, I love you oh, yes I love you… Me neither
Oh my love physical love is hopeless
I go, I go and I come between your kidneys
I go and come and hold back
No! Now come!
Marked by the rattles of pleasure of the verses and the deliberately provocative side of the chorus, some non-French-speaking listeners did not grasp the meaning of the key verse: “Physical love is hopeless”. This sentence belies the libertine intent attributed to the song.
The grammatical trick of the title inspired by a statement by Salvador Dali “Picasso is Spanish, me too; Picasso is a genius, so am I; Picasso is a communist, neither am I” entered the common language, becoming a consecrated expression.
I love you me too: a consecrated expression that has become a play on words in love
The subtlety of Gainsbourg’s pun
The subtlety of the pun “I love you neither” comes from the grammar. If we say I don’t like you to someone, that person will answer me either. For the rule is that one responds to one negation with another negation. But if we tell him I love you,the other must answer me too and not “me either” (or not me if it is not reciprocal obviously but that is not the subject here).
Thus, the expression “I love you neither” becomes a contradiction in the very statement. And all the subtlety comes from there, creating a paradox of feeling. But if we think like Gainsbourg, in all modesty, we can be sure that he played with the paradox because he loved it, through this denied assertion.
In a more pragmatic way, to solve this problem, if we take the “most” in the sense of quantity, well it means then “I love you even more than your I love you”.
I love you either in a romantic relationship: the famous “am I fleeing you, flee me I follow you”?
If it is a first statement, the person who answers “neither do I” can do so for two reasons. Either she understood that it was not necessary to grasp the “I love you” in the sense of a real statement. Either she does not want to validate the statement with a “I also love you”.
In the cade of a couple together for some time, for which the feelings have already been confessed in the past, one can think of another interpretation. In this case, the expression evokes the ups and downs punmating the couple: we love each other but we argue, sometimes even we hurt each other.
Finally, it is often an expression used by couples who live a fusional love, and tortured. This refers, from the outside, to couples who spend their time separating and getting back together, constantly tearing each other apart.
It’s like two magnets that take turns attracting each other and then pushing each other away. They are two people who love each other but who cannot show it to themselves other than by the suffering they inflict on themselves. They are desperately looking for each other but are unable to live their love serenely.
They thus use their time in the game of cat and mouse, trapped in the vicious circle of the famous “follow me, I follow you, flee me, I follow you”.”
I love you either: a destructive passion and not love?
This kind of relationship is more about love passion than true love. Yes there is love but passion predominates and destroys everything else. It is like a long inner complaint, a contained suffering.
The object of this passion, the loved one, then also becomes an object of suffering. “I hate you because I love you.” And this paradox is gnawing away because we take turns moving from love to hatred and vice versa.
This absolute love gives the impression of not being able to do without the other. To be unable to get out of this infernal spiral. By dint of living like this, in a destructive love, we feed on it. It becomes more than a desire, more than a feeling of love it is a need, an addiction.
We are in the midst of this paradox that constitutes this fine border between love and hatred. To love becomes a suffering and the loved one becomes the object and the reason for our evil.
Loving in a relationship based on “I love you neither” is a source of permanent anxiety. Love is too destructive, too fragile and too unbalanced to soothe the heart and calm the mind. It’s more of a game than love.
I love you either: a way to escape true love?
What if you didn’t want to get involved in the bottom?
That would explain why you are continuing. You know that it is impossible to live a serious and lasting relationship so you stay because somewhere you do not risk anything, from an emotional and sentimental point of view.
Maybe you’re afraid of reliving a heartache?
And so you don’t really engage in history so you don’t suffer? But here it is yourself that you will decoy because you would not accept to remain in such a complicated relationship if you did not feel anything.
Is it a lack of self-confidence?
Playing “I love you either” is a way to check that the other still loves you or not. You play roller coaster with his heart. And if the other one makes you suffer the same thing, he probably suffers from the same lack of confidence.
