What is loving?
Everyone thinks they know how to love, but very few people actually know how to love. I speak of loving true, loving without wanting to “possess”. To love without tying the other, but on the contrary leaving him free to exist outside oneself.
This is not to resign oneself to not having exclusivity and to push him to be unfaithful to us, but on the contrary, it is to want, as the highest proof of love, that he is first of all true to himself.
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This love implies an understanding, a total respect for the loved one and also for oneself. This implies not imposing one’s desires or will, not wanting to exercise any power over him. In reality, we really like it when we do not use the weakness of the other to impose our strength on him. But to love true we must of course be fully aware that our current way of loving is often conditioned by our emotional lacks related to childhood, by the false or demeaning ideas that have been transmitted to us by our loved ones, society, the so-called morality.
When we hope and do everything to ensure that the other person restores to us the love we may have lacked in our childhood, we ask him for something far too big for him. How could he be up to the task? No man, no woman can replace this love there.
What is loving?
So we must already mourn this, give up a better past, accept what has been and forgive ourselves for having maintained suffering for so long. In order to move forward, we must also acknowledge our share of responsibility for everything and not constantly run away from it by blaming the other.
Then we have to see in ourselves our own worth, because we all have one, we are all unique, special beings, in reality children of God, as wonderful as it is possible to be. Then begins a work of resilience that allows us to transcend suffering and we can finally begin to fully love the being that we are. Therefore we can also really love the other for what he is and not for what we would like him to be. ( What is loving )
It is also necessary, to have in mind, that the person we love is not the one who complements us because we were already a whole being before meeting him. We just have to think that he is only a “supplement”, someone who embellishes us with existence but who does not fill it in any way. So when it comes out of our lives, because very often love stories end, it will not collapse for all that.
We will even agree to let him go because we will know deep down that we cannot prevent him from living what he has to live elsewhere. He is a free being and we must respect his choices, even if it hurts us.. ( What is loving )
The meetings we make are never the result of chance! Every human being, who accompanies us a little way, has something to teach us about us or we have something to teach him about him. It is therefore necessary to welcome him as best as possible, to try to understand the message, to live intensely every moment in his presence, and then let him go when he decides to do so, when something else or someone else calls him elsewhere.
To love in this way is to access the source of love in itself that will make that giving love to others will become our essential, our absolute priority. Especially since we will realize then that by giving without waiting for anything in exchange, we receive infinitely.
This Love there, Love without any conditions, without fear, without reproaches, without expectations, it is the only, the true Love that is, Love with a capital A. Everything else is nothing but illusions and unnecessary suffering.