Why doesn’t a man express his feelings?
Many women ask questions about their spouse’s feelings. What for? Because it does not express them or very little. You then wonder if he is really sincere, if he is really concerned with your love story. And if so, you’d like to understand what’s stopping him from telling you how he feels.
So rest assured, you are not the only one to ask this because it is a question that comes up regularly within a couple. Indeed, it is not a cliché, it is true that many men do not easily confess their feelings. So how do you explain it? What can make a man, no matter how in love, keep his “I love you” quiet? Why doesn’t a man express his feelings?
Why doesn’t a man express his feelings?
A man can become truly mute when it comes to talking about his emotions and feelings. However, this does not mean that he is not in love. Indeed, men can be different from women and, unlike the latter, they do not need to express themselves to feel good, they are discreet and modest about their feelings.
For some, talking about emotions may even be a sign of weakness or they can no longer do so, because they have been hurt in the past.
For others, this is impossible, because they are too proud. They want to be strong or do not want their feelings to be taken for granted. Here are the range of reasons why a man does not care what he feels.
1/ Modesty and discretion
This is something that is not necessarily explained, it is said that the men come from March and the women from Venus… A man will often tend to be discreet and modest about his feelings. Taking the first step already requires great efforts for some, and when it comes to feelings, it will remain on the reservefor a long time. Out of doubt while waiting to know what he really feels and also and especially out of shyness or modesty to know if it is the right time to confess his feelings.
2/ A question of education (Why doesn’t a man express his feelings?)
Unlike women, men do not allow themselves to be overwhelmed by their feelings because they have always learned to control or repress them. It is not uncommon to hear a man say that when he was little, he was taught that men are strong, courageous, that they should not cry, nor show their weaknesses. However, expressing one’s feelings can be seen as a sign of weakness since it is a question of revealing what is most intimate in oneself to someone else. So unfortunately, the more a man stifles his feelings, the more his fear grows.
3/ Too full of pride
Do not lie, one of the reasons that pushes men not to confess their feelings is pride. Not that your spouse is ashamed of being in love with you, but saying it is another story. Why such behavior? Because once again, it is important for a man to be strong especially in a romantic relationship. However, romanticism and feelings are considered “feminine”.
4/ The cliché of the weak man because he reveals his feelings still has a hard time. (Why doesn’t a man express his feelings?)
Society still continues to play an important role in the vision of romantic relationships. A man and a woman are not expected to behave in the same way in love. Even if it tends to evolve.
Moreover, if some men do not confess their feelings it is because they are afraid of being taken for granted. They want to remain a “challenge”, out of pride, to keep control and not fall into the routine.
5/ The weight of his past love
Nevertheless, you should not always think that if your man does not tell you sweet words it is only out of pride. Indeed, it may be that he remains silent because of a painful love experience in the past, as it can happen to everyone. Women are not the only ones to suffer after a breakup, a disappointment, a betrayal. This may be the reason why he does not reveal his feelings easily, quickly. If a man was disappointed by a woman he was in love with, it is quite understandable that he puts distance between what he feels and what he experiences at the beginning of the relationship, out of an instinct for protection. Once again, time is of the essence to get to the best of our understanding of the situation.
Why doesn’t a man express his feelings?
6/ The fear of losing one’s freedom
To say what he feels for his partner is to implicitly recognize the existence of a relationship,a link and beyond, a commitment. Here too, however, commitment raises doubts and anxieties in a man who often unconsciously sees in it nothing more and nothing less than a threat to his freedom and autonomy, the two pillars of male well-being. This is a major obstacle for him.
Indeed, when the time comes to get more involved, he will ask himself the following type of questions “Is she the woman with whom I should share my life?”, “Do I still have to wait before revealing myself?” Behind these doubts, he fears above all to lose his freedom,he selects his emotions for fear of showing his vulnerability.
In fact, in the context of a real relationship that is being built, two major elements explain that a man does not express his feelings.
First element:
The first is the fact that he was not built like this, because of his up bringing, his way of understanding emotions and feelings. So it will take time for him to understand that loving and saying it are things that we can do, that we must do even in a couple.
Second element:
The second element that often governs the whole thing is fear. Indeed, if men find it more difficult to surrender, it is often because they are afraid. To suffer, to lose their freedom, to lose control. For fear of showing his vulnerability and therefore exposing himself, the man often keeps what he feels for himself.
For this, in addition to time, it is through the trust that you place within your couple, the trust that he will have in you, that you will silence his fears of expressing his feelings.
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