Relationship Guide & Sex

Infidelity: Here’s why love betrayal hurts so much

Published

5 years ago

July 11, 2021

Admin

Infidelity: Here’s why love betrayal hurts so much

An infidelity, an adultery, always causes a huge explosion within the couple. However, only a few decades ago, it was much more tolerated (especially from the male point of view). Why does love betrayal hurt so much? And why are there so many? Is man really made to be monogamous?

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Table of Contents

Infidelity: Here’s why love betrayal hurts so much

For this article, I will greatly rely and quote many passages from the book that I recommend to you 300%: I love you I’m wrong with Esther Perel! Finally a truly complete book on the taboo subject of infidelity and which proves that adultery is much more complex than it seems!

Infidelity and Love: Differences Between Love Before and Now

Before VS now (Page 60):

« When Maria stumbled upon a word of love in the pocket of her husband Kenneth’s uniform, she threw it away and never told him about it. It was then 1964.

What else could I have done? Where would I have gone? Who would have wanted a woman with four children?

She just confided in her mother, who approved her.

Your children are young. The marriage lasts a long time. Don’t let your pride take away everything you have.

And then, they assumed, infidelity was simply in the nature of men.

Now let’s make a good one until 1984. It is now the turn of Maria’s eldest daughter, Sylvia, to be confronted with the adultery of her husband, Clark. Several debits marked Interflora on the account statement of his American Express card caught his attention, as no bouquet of flowers were delivered to his office. Put in confidence, her mother was compassionate, but she was also delighted that her daughter was not condemned to the same fate as her.

Men do not change. But you have no children and you work. Pack your suitcase and leave it.«

The time before: (Infidelity: Here’s why love betrayal hurts so much)

The conception of yesterday’s wedding and today’s has little to do with it. “Before, marriage was first and foremost a strategic union between two families to ensure their economic survival and promote social cohesion. (…) It is worth remembering that, until very recently, marital fidelity and monogamy had nothing to do with love, but rather with patriarchy, which imposed them on women in order to preserve family heritage and lineage – the idea being to know “which children are mine and who will inherit the cows” when I die. »

The virginity of a young girl on her wedding day, and then her fidelity, were paramount to protect the pride of a man’s lineage. On the women’s side, venturing out of the marital bed was very dangerous. They risked becoming pregnant, publicly humiliated, and even dying. (p.63)

It was romanticism that changed everything:

“I love you. Let’s get married. Throughout history, these two phrases have almost never been combined. It was romanticism that changed everything. Gradually, marriage ceased to be an economic enterprise to become a form of companionship, a commitment, concluded between two people free of their choice and based on love and affection rather than on duties and obligations. (P.64)

Before, to be perfectly satisfied, you had to look elsewhere for what you could not find at home

« The little ring of marriage contains ideals that are contradictory, to say the least. The chosen one of our hearts must bring us stability, security, predictability and reliability – all things that are anchors for us – but also impress us and infuse an element of mystery, adventure and risk into our lives. In short, we want comfort and a little turbulence. Familiarity and novelty. Continuity and surprise. Today’s lovers thus tend to gather under the same roof desires that have always been satisfied in different places.” (P.70).

Infidelity: Here’s why love betrayal hurts so much

Simone de Beauvoir wrote in La femme rompue: “I thought I knew who I was, who he was: and suddenly, I no longer recognize us, neither he nor me. (…) My life behind me has completely collapsed, as in those earthquakes where the ground devours itself; it engulfs itself in your back as you flee. There is no return. »

Infidelity hurts and all the more so today

In the age of new technologies, when we are deceived, we often have a lot of elements that we would have done well: Hot photos on a phone, naughty messages on Facebook . Entire discussions can be read and ruin us forever.

More than the loss of a love, infidelity corresponds to the loss of self. The feeling of having lost part of one’s life, of having wasted so many years also makes its appearance and upsets the morale. We could say to ourselves that we lived a happy life, that we do not regret anything, that it is an accident of course … Unfortunately, not everyone can react in this way. Because love betrayal makes one’s own story question: what if nothing we experienced was true? Has he ever loved me? Is this the first time he has betrayed me…?

And yet, some couples have managed to forgive infidelity, to overcome adultery! Everything depends on the will of each one and also on the personality of both partners. Some may ignore and forgive a heavy betrayal in love, while others will prefer to break up for a stolen kiss.

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Relationship Guide & Sex

Best Help Orgasm to last long in bed for men, even at 40’s

Published

3 years ago

January 4, 2023

Help Orgasm – Lasting longer in bed is a common concern for many men. It’s important to remember that there is no “normal” amount of time to be in bed and everyone is different. However, if you are consistently unable to last as long as you or your partner would like, there are things you can try to help improve your endurance.

Table of Contents

Help Orgasm

Practice kegel exercises. These exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can help improve control over your orgasms. To do kegels, contract the muscles you would use to stop yourself from urinating. Hold the contraction for a few seconds, then relax. Repeat this process a few times a day.
Try the “stop-start” method. This involves stimulating yourself or your partner until you are close to orgasm, then stopping and taking a break before starting again. This can help you become more aware of your arousal levels and improve your control over your orgasms.
Use condoms. Condoms can help reduce sensation and delay orgasm. There are also condoms available that contain numbing agents to further reduce sensation.
Try different sexual positions. Some positions may be more stimulating than others, which could make it harder to last. Experimenting with different positions can help you find ones that are less stimulating and allow you to last longer.
Take breaks during sex. If you feel like you are about to orgasm, take a break and switch to a less intense activity, like cuddling or kissing. This can help you relax and slow down your arousal levels.
Use distraction techniques. Some men find that thinking about something unrelated to sex can help them last longer. Others find that focusing on their partner’s pleasure helps take the pressure off of themselves.
Try edging. Edging, also known as orgasm control, involves bringing yourself or your partner close to orgasm, then stopping and waiting for the arousal to subside before continuing. This can help you become more in tune with your arousal levels and improve your control.
Try using a delay spray or cream. These products contain numbing agents that can help reduce sensitivity and delay orgasm.
Talk to your partner. If you are having trouble lasting as long as you would like, it’s important to communicate with your partner. They may be able to suggest different techniques or positions that can help.
Consider seeing a healthcare professional. If you have tried the above techniques and are still unable to last as long as you would like, it may be helpful to see a healthcare professional. They can help identify any underlying issues and suggest treatment options.

It’s important to remember that lasting longer in bed is not the only measure of sexual satisfaction. Communication with your partner and being present in the moment are also important aspects of a fulfilling sexual experience. Help Orgasm

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Relationship Guide & Sex

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term

Published

4 years ago

May 31, 2022

Admin

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married – Peter Gillis has no intention of marrying his girlfriend Nicol Kremers in the short term. That made the sixty-year-old reality star Monday night known in Shownieuws.

Gillis, known from the SBS6 program Massa is Kassa, said he does not want to get married for the time being. “That’s not in there yet,” he said Monday.

Sixty-year-old Gillis has been married once before and that was not a success. That marriage ended in a divorce and the reality star says she is “not proud of it”.

“You marry a woman to stay with it forever. If you get divorced, it doesn’t deserve the beauty prize. But if it is no longer possible, you also have to make the decision. That didn’t happen in one day. We talked a lot about that at the time. It hadn’t been right for five years.”

Gillis has been in a relationship with the 32-year-old Kremers for four years now. He does not rule out that it will come from a wedding later on. “It could just happen once.”

Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term

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Relationship Guide & Sex

The “micro cheating”, or the art of cheating “just a little”

Published

4 years ago

April 30, 2022

James Williams

micro cheating,

Deceive, while keeping a platonic relationship. “Micro cheating” or “micro deception” is an ambiguous relationship with a person other than his or her partner. This emotional infidelity is developing more and more, encouraged by the use of social networks.

When do we consider ourselves unfaithful? For some, infidelity starts long before the exchange of a kiss or a more intimate relationship.

It can start with a game of looks, texts, an appointment for a coffee These actions may seem trivial or minor, but put end to end can evoke the first signs of infidelity. Hence the term “micro-cheating” or “micro-deception”.

This phenomenon can be defined as a “nice flirtation” with a person who is not your partner. Micro-cheating does not involve physical contact. With “micro-cheating”, we talk more about emotional infidelity.

This betrayal would also be more complicated to manage for the “deceived” person. Because this breakdown of emotional trust in a couple can cause more damage than “physical” infidelity.

Table of Contents

The “micro cheating”, or the art of cheating “just a little”

However, each couple has its own definition of infidelity. Thus, what can be called “micro-deception” in one relationship can also be considered habitual by another couple. It is up to each couple to define their own notion of fidelity and limits not to be exceeded.

The whole thing would be to communicate in couples.

Micro cheating is developing more and more due to the multiplicity of digital discussions and various social networks.