Relationship Guide & Sex
Not in the mood for sex? – 7 golden tips for more sex drive
Not in the mood for sex? – 7 golden tips for more sex drive
Is your sex life on the back burner because you don’t feel like having sex? With the tips below you can slowly build your sex drive to a higher level and get your sex drive back!
Many people don’t feel like having sex
Not having sex is a common problem in relationships. Often it is the woman who has a lower libido, but men are also unable to have sex. In most cases, this has little to do with the attractiveness of the partner and everything to do with the circumstances.
The tips below assume that your sex life was once good, but that it has collapsed because of work, children, study or living alongside each other. These tips will help you spice up your sex life in this case. If you suffer or think you have permanent complaints such as Asexuality, these tips may not work for you. In this case, we recommend that you contact your doctor.
- Stress is a sex killer
You don’t feel like having sex? As soon as there is a major source of stress in your life, your sex drive quickly disappears. Stress is your body’s survival response. When you are suddenly attacked on the street, there is a lot of stress because you want to survive. To survive, your body only focuses on the essential bodily functions, and a sex drive is not part of that at that time.
sex drive

In our society we are not only stressed when we are in immediate danger. We also experience stress when we are in indirect danger. We have a constant stress level that slowly eats us up. We worry about our children, work, finances and so on.
Know that for many people, stress, tension and anxiety is the reason that there is no more sex drive. You get tired quickly, you want to sleep and just don’t feel like making an effort. Moreover, the lack of sex puts you in a negative spiral: you get less and less sex drive.
- The negative sex spiral
If you are not having sex, the sex drive will also disappear. You may be taking less time for each other because of relationship problems. One wants, the other doesn’t feel like having sex. In the long run, your partner doesn’t even dare to ask because you usually don’t feel like having sex. Rejection hurts.
The physical chemistry that arises during sex is slowly starting to disappear between you. You don’t blend in, you don’t feel connected. Instead, a brother-sister (or brother-brother, sister-sister) relationship is more likely to develop in which you start arguing with each other.
All the bickering makes your relationship deteriorate. You find your lover less and less attractive because of all that nagging. There is no sex.
Relax
If you notice that you are somewhere halfway or even very deep in the negative spiral, it is time to intervene. First of all, it is very important that you try to let go of the stress. We have written several articles about this on soChicken that can help you with that, such as this article about de-stressing .
And know that sex is a great way to lower your stress level!
- Getting started is half the battle
Then it is actually very simple: have sex!
By having sex with your partner you immediately break the negative spiral and some erotic energy enters your relationship. After having sex once, you will notice that you start to feel more connected with your partner. This sense of belonging makes you more tolerant and kind to one another.
Maybe the sex isn’t great. If you haven’t had sex in a while, don’t expect miracles. It will feel much better next time.
It’s just important that you commit yourself to just having sex at some point. You probably don’t feel like cleaning the toilet, but you do. Sometimes this also just applies to sex. Once you’re at it, it’s not that bad, it’s even a lot of fun!
Think about foreplay
Don’t lie in bed next to each other just to ‘start having sex’ again. When all the sexual energy is gone from your relationship, you will have to do your best to get it back. You can do this very well by having a nice foreplay.
Take time for each other. Take a shower together, watch a nice movie with a nice glass of wine. Massage each other and let one thing lead to another. You will find that once you are aroused, the rest really goes without saying!
- Take time to enjoy each other
Sex in a relationship is more than just sex. It is a physical expression of your love for each other. If you want to spice up your sex life, you’d do well to generally spend more time together.
By devoting time and attention to each other, you grow closer to each other. Especially if you have children, you would do well to ‘date’ together regularly. Plan evenings for you together and also be busy with each other in daily life.
- Keep the flow in your sex life
Once the negative spiral has been broken, it is important that you keep the ‘flow’ in your sex life. This means that you don’t stick to a one-off eruption, but that you have sex several times a week.
With this you keep the erotic energy within your relationship! Experiment, seduce each other, vary and keep it exciting.
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Relationship Guide & Sex
Best Help Orgasm to last long in bed for men, even at 40’s
Help Orgasm – Lasting longer in bed is a common concern for many men. It’s important to remember that there is no “normal” amount of time to be in bed and everyone is different. However, if you are consistently unable to last as long as you or your partner would like, there are things you can try to help improve your endurance.
Help Orgasm
- Practice kegel exercises. These exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can help improve control over your orgasms. To do kegels, contract the muscles you would use to stop yourself from urinating. Hold the contraction for a few seconds, then relax. Repeat this process a few times a day.
- Try the “stop-start” method. This involves stimulating yourself or your partner until you are close to orgasm, then stopping and taking a break before starting again. This can help you become more aware of your arousal levels and improve your control over your orgasms.
- Use condoms. Condoms can help reduce sensation and delay orgasm. There are also condoms available that contain numbing agents to further reduce sensation.
- Try different sexual positions. Some positions may be more stimulating than others, which could make it harder to last. Experimenting with different positions can help you find ones that are less stimulating and allow you to last longer.
- Take breaks during sex. If you feel like you are about to orgasm, take a break and switch to a less intense activity, like cuddling or kissing. This can help you relax and slow down your arousal levels.
- Use distraction techniques. Some men find that thinking about something unrelated to sex can help them last longer. Others find that focusing on their partner’s pleasure helps take the pressure off of themselves.
- Try edging. Edging, also known as orgasm control, involves bringing yourself or your partner close to orgasm, then stopping and waiting for the arousal to subside before continuing. This can help you become more in tune with your arousal levels and improve your control.
- Try using a delay spray or cream. These products contain numbing agents that can help reduce sensitivity and delay orgasm.
- Talk to your partner. If you are having trouble lasting as long as you would like, it’s important to communicate with your partner. They may be able to suggest different techniques or positions that can help.
- Consider seeing a healthcare professional. If you have tried the above techniques and are still unable to last as long as you would like, it may be helpful to see a healthcare professional. They can help identify any underlying issues and suggest treatment options.
It’s important to remember that lasting longer in bed is not the only measure of sexual satisfaction. Communication with your partner and being present in the moment are also important aspects of a fulfilling sexual experience. Help Orgasm
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Help Orgasm
Relationship Guide & Sex
Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term
Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married – Peter Gillis has no intention of marrying his girlfriend Nicol Kremers in the short term. That made the sixty-year-old reality star Monday night known in Shownieuws.
Gillis, known from the SBS6 program Massa is Kassa, said he does not want to get married for the time being. “That’s not in there yet,” he said Monday.
Sixty-year-old Gillis has been married once before and that was not a success. That marriage ended in a divorce and the reality star says she is “not proud of it”.
“You marry a woman to stay with it forever. If you get divorced, it doesn’t deserve the beauty prize. But if it is no longer possible, you also have to make the decision. That didn’t happen in one day. We talked a lot about that at the time. It hadn’t been right for five years.”
Gillis has been in a relationship with the 32-year-old Kremers for four years now. He does not rule out that it will come from a wedding later on. “It could just happen once.”
Peter Gillis has no intention of getting married in the short term
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Relationship Guide & Sex
The “micro cheating”, or the art of cheating “just a little”
micro cheating,
Deceive, while keeping a platonic relationship. “Micro cheating” or “micro deception” is an ambiguous relationship with a person other than his or her partner. This emotional infidelity is developing more and more, encouraged by the use of social networks.
When do we consider ourselves unfaithful? For some, infidelity starts long before the exchange of a kiss or a more intimate relationship.
It can start with a game of looks, texts, an appointment for a coffee These actions may seem trivial or minor, but put end to end can evoke the first signs of infidelity. Hence the term “micro-cheating” or “micro-deception”.
This phenomenon can be defined as a “nice flirtation” with a person who is not your partner. Micro-cheating does not involve physical contact. With “micro-cheating”, we talk more about emotional infidelity.
This betrayal would also be more complicated to manage for the “deceived” person. Because this breakdown of emotional trust in a couple can cause more damage than “physical” infidelity.
The “micro cheating”, or the art of cheating “just a little”
However, each couple has its own definition of infidelity. Thus, what can be called “micro-deception” in one relationship can also be considered habitual by another couple. It is up to each couple to define their own notion of fidelity and limits not to be exceeded.
The whole thing would be to communicate in couples.
Micro cheating is developing more and more due to the multiplicity of digital discussions and various social networks.
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