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Relationship for a long time

When two people get into a relationship, scientists have shown that the behavior of both lovers changes! Together, they adopt a common language, physical mimicry and way of thinking. Here are 5 things that change when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time!

1) A language that only the couple can understand (relationship for a long time)

The couple sets up a language of their own, like children who build their own language. According to a study by Robbert Hopper, this particular language deepens the bond between the two lovers and creates a unique identity that is shared by both lovers. According to Joshua Wolf Shenk, in his book “Powers of Two”, this language created is one of the first signs that there is a synchronization between the two lovers. Psychologist Carol Bruss, this language can be made up of nicknames, jokes or words that mean nothing in themselves!

According to a study she conducted, she was able to find that the more couples used this “private” language, the happier they were as a couple! There would therefore be a link between the frequency of use of these words and the level of relational satisfaction within the couple! (relationship for a long time)


2) Language without taboos or restraint

Have you ever caught yourself talking and acting differently when your partner is with you in the evening? Have you noticed a friend of yours acting in a totally different way with their partner than when they are with you? Joshua Wolf Shenk explains that most people censor themselves when they are surrounded by other people to adapt to them, whereas when they are with their partner, they suddenly adopt “fluid and natural language”. 

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People in couples have a more frank, more open communication that is not censored.

3) Physical mimicry (relationship for a long time)

Psychologist Robert Zajonc found from a 1987 study that the reason married couples ended up physically looking alike was the fact that they used the same muscles so often that they began to imitate each other. Joshua Wolf Shenk,

meanwhile, explains that it is a “shared coordination structure”, which far from being accidental, comes from the way couples harmonize the swaying of their body, their gaze and the small manias and peculiarities in their way of speaking.


4) A verbal resemblance

According to Joshua Wolf Shenk, couples “begin to harmonize in the rhythms and syntactic structures of their language.” Psychologists call this phenomenon “emotional contagion.” By spending a lot of time together, the two people match their expression patterns. This phenomenon has been noticed in particular by the adoption of the accent or the time of marked pauses between the words and sentences of the other. relationship for a long time

This shared way of speaking also serves as an indicator of the future of the couple! It is a study in 2010 on the language of couples through sms that showed that the more people in the couple express themselves in the same way (in words and structure), the greater their chances of still being in a relationship 3 months later!

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5) A similar way of acting (relationship for a long time)

According to research, the couple is likely to imitate the body language of the other! Indeed, because the memories and experiences accumulated by the two people of the couple, will influence their gestures, the posture of their body as well as their language! 

A 2007 study showed that the two people in the couple could have the same look after hearing the same information without even having consulted each other before!



1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Juliana Oti

    October 11, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    Nice article

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