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manipulation techniques used by narcissistic perverts

Narcissistic perverts and other manipulators use real manipulation techniques. Whether they use them consciously or not is of little importance given the harm and suffering caused in the other. If you haven’t already done so, I invite you to read our two articles: Am I in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert? And: How to recognize a manipulator in love?

Let’s review some manipulation techniques very often used by narcissistic perverts to achieve their ends!

1/ The technique of the scarecrow or Strawman

The scarecrow technique consists in presenting the position of one’s opponent in a deliberately erroneous way. Creating a scarecrow argument is the formulation of an easily rebuttable argument and then attributing it to its opponent. (cf: Wikipedia)


Arthur Schopenhauer calls this technique the ploy of extension: “it is a question of taking up the opposing thesis by extending it beyond its natural limits, giving it as general and broad a meaning as possible and exaggerating it, while maintaining the limits of its own positions as restricted as possible”.

concretely? (manipulation techniques used by narcissistic perverts)

If you are dealing with a narcissistic pervert who uses this method, he will be able to do so in different ways. He will refute your arguments at all costs by using this technique.

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For example, if you try to tell him that you don’t like the way he talks to you, he will make you say what you didn’t say: “Oh yes, I’m a bad man that’s what you’re saying”, “Ah because you’re perfect maybe”? Basically he refutes what you tell him by being told what you didn’t say. He thus cuts short any conversation because by acting in this way, apart from answering him “this is not what I said“… you know you’re going to go around in circles.

I found this example quite telling on Wikipedia regarding the scarecrow technique:

One man said, “You don’t want to develop this aircraft carrier building program; I do not understand why you want to leave our country defenceless. »


Thus, instead of saying “personally, I think the construction of an aircraft carrier would be beneficial”, he says of his interlocutor that he is against the defense of his country. This make the argument much easier to fault. That, however, is not what this is about at all.

2/ Gaslighting (manipulation techniques used by narcissistic perverts)

Gaslighting is a technique by which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, chooses a victim and begins to make him doubt his reality. And it works much better than you might think. Everyone is likely to do gaslighting, and it is a common technique among aggressors, dictators, narcissists or those who set up a cult of their person. (See:


This technique of mind manipulation consists in distorting the reality of factual events in order to question the victim who may even go so far as to think that he is crazy.

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Like what:

  • Yesterday you came home at 4am and I saw text messages that a girl sent you
  • You are completely crazy, it did not happen at all like that, you dreamed (in the meantime he will have taken care to delete the messages).

The narcissistic pervert can therefore appallingly deny events that cannot be questioned. But his aplomb can convince his victim, even if he has the proof to the contrary!

Never forget, if you are dealing with a toxic person who uses this technique of gaslighing: ONLY ACTS COUNT! THEIR WORD IS TOTALLY FALSE AND FALSE.

3/ Triangulation (manipulation techniques used by narcissistic perverts)

The technique of triangulation consists in involving the opinion (real, supposed or totally imaginary), of a third person. This manipulation technique allows the narcissistic pervert to validate his point of view, often abusive, while refuting the legitimate reaction of the victim to the abuse.

The narcissistic pervert will give himself to heart joy to involve people from his entourage or even those of his victim. This allows him to create jealousy, uncertainty, sadness and even humiliation.


Like what:

  • Yesterday you forbade me to wear a skirt because you thought it was too short. I don’t appreciate you telling me what to wear.
  • But wait, even my colleagues said you looked like a spoter when you came to pick me up the other day. It’s for you huh!

Example 2:

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  • I didn’t like the way you spoke to me in front of everyone yesterday.
  • You’re kidding? Even your friends asked me how I could be with such a shit!

4/ Mental projection (manipulation techniques used by narcissistic perverts)

A manipulation technique very often used by narcissistic perverts. Being unable to question themselves, these manipulators will refuse to admit their own shortcomings or to take responsibility for their actions. They will thus blame their victim. In short, if you are accusing him, he will accuse you in return, even if you are right.

In my second example on the triangulation technique, this is what the manipulator does. (Using two techniques at the same time: triangulation and mental projection):

  • I didn’t like the way you spoke to me in front of everyone yesterday.
  • Are you kidding? Even your friends (triangulation) asked me how I did to be with such a shit (Mentalprojection)!

The victim is clearly the scapegoat of the manipulator who deliberately offloads on him.


If you are in a relationship with a liar, he will say that YOU are misrepresenting reality, that YOU are lying. If you are in a relationship with a jealous and possessive person, they will tell you that you are suffocating them

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