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Define your relationship

It’s hard to know exactly when a relationship begins. When you can call your couple a couple. And even more difficult, in some cases, to know if his couple is really a couple. If the other has the same expectations as us. Is it a passing amusement or a life project? Is it always important and necessary to define one’s relationship? When should we have a discussion with the other to know their expectations? Isn’t it always a little aggressive to ask this question? Can it be scary? How to define your relationship? Is this a mandatory step?

First of all, before you know what the other wants, it is important to know what you want.



Should we use precise words?

The media never fails to put in fashion new terms to explain each kind of relationship, from only physical to the most sentimental, from the rudimentary “ass plan” to the couple, through all its variants, “improved ass plan”, “sexfriends”, “in between” (then those-who-want-feelings-but-not-couples, those-who-want-exclusivity-but-we-know-not-why, those-who-love-you-a-lot-but-do-not-feel-ready, more-than-friendship-but-we-dare e-not-jump-the-step and company)…

Are these terms necessary or just yet another invention of our society? It turns out that even if most of them leave me skeptical and I myself refuse their use, they are very practical and speak for themselves. Only, everyone can have his definition of a word also it is important to explain everything with his own, to always be clear about his thought.

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When to define your relationship?

If you wait too long, you risk sinking your own definition of your relationship into your head without ever managing to get it out. Or to miss something. If you start asking yourself questions about the nature of your relationship, enough questions for them to haunt you even in the presence of the other, it is time to define your relationship, to take your courage in both hands.

Wait, however: wanting to define your relationship too early at all costs can actually scare the other who may not yet be able to answer your question and will think that you want to put pressure on him. Of course, if you ask directly after a successful date to the other person if she wants seriousness and marry you in the following week, you risk worrying her and she will take her legs to her neck:


but yourself, after a single date, are you really able to define your attachment to the other? Wanting to be in a couple is one thing, designing or not the functioning of this couple is another. From the moment that links have been created and you are sure enough of yourself, if you are wondering about the investment of the other in your relationship, it is time to bring gently but frankly the subject.

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It is also possible to share your intentions by making the other understand that you want a real evolution in your couple (let’s start here from the idea that it is obvious that you are already a couple) by offering to meet your friends (first) then your parents (much later).

Defining your relationship: a mandatory step?

In many cases, the relationship is defined by itself but sometimes it remains ambiguous, in which case it is important to set the record straight to avoid disillusionment.

In another case, if you realize that you do not want a serious relationship, it is necessary to let the other person know. In the event that the other still wants seriousness but continues to associate with you despite your warning, it seems to me more sensible to end this relationship before it escalates.


If you are absolutely certain that you want a serious couple but the other one hesitates too much, there are two possibilities: either you let him still hesitate for a while, or you pass your way.

In conclusion, each one evolving at his own pace, it is difficult to know when one can define exactly his relationship without aggressiveness or without becoming too pressing. However, know how to listen to the other while preserving yourself – stubbornness to get what you want from a person has never been the right solution.

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