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Couple with baby

These 9 months seemed like an eternity to you. You were waiting for your baby with enormous impatience, this little being that represents the immensity of your love. But this happiness that the three of you thought you were living fully is more complicated than expected to manage on a daily basis for your couple. Fatigue, stress and irritation tend to wear you down and what was supposed to unite you even more is rather moving you away. 

You feel like the arrival of your baby overwhelms you and you feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by your role as parents at the expense of your couple, your moments together, your love, your intimacy. How do we find the right balance? How do you find yourself? Couple with baby: how to rekindle the flame?

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Couple with baby: how to rekindle the flame?

#1 Patience first

You don’t quite understand how or why but you’re getting annoyed for nothing. The feeling of being in a dead end, of losing control? Don’t worry, most couples go through this stage after a baby arrives and that’s normal. We may have 9 months to prepare for it but in the end when we hold our piece of cabbage in our arms, we are absolutely not ready!

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Having a baby radically changes life, no more improvisation now place to organize! Which, obviously, causes some clashes within the couple. So be patient and listen to each other and try to resolve tensions and arguments by discussing calmly. You hold the greatest happiness in your arms so tell yourself that it only takes a little patience to regain your serenity.

#2 Couple with baby: A new balance to find

Indeed, the arrival of a baby turns life upside down. You have always lived together, thought for two. Today you are responsible for a small being and it is sometimes very scary. So that your couple does not suffer too much the consequences of this upheaval, you must find your balance both in your couple and in your family.

You will have to create habits again but with three, not just two. Divide up the tasks, take moments of sweetness and tenderness with your baby and remember above all that this child is the fruit of your love, that it is this love that is the basis of everything and that you must protect and nourish him on a daily basis.


#3 Don’t lose sight of the privileged moments of two

To rekindle the flame in your couple after the arrival of baby, this is surely the most important thing to do. Spending time together again will allow you to meet and relax. You may be telling yourself that it is too early to leave it, that it is premature but not at all. Being both without a baby will allow you to think only of yourself.

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Leave it to someone you fully trust (grannies will be delighted!) and take time in love for a few hours. A one-on-one dinner without the rhythm of bottles and diapers will do you a crazy good. And if you feel able, leave baby for the night and treat yourself to a night both. You will be able to rest and enjoy one another, think only of yourself.

Couple with baby: how to rekindle the flame?

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#4 Maintain or regain your social life

It may surprise you to keep going out or seeing the world to rekindle the flame, but it is very important. Receiving or going to friends, as a couple or with your baby, will do you a crazy good. Already because you will both be very proud to present your baby and in addition because it will take you out of everyday life that can be stressful.

Chatting with your friends, whether they have children or not, will relax you and remind you that you are surrounded and that your life goes on as before, just differently. An evening like this will soothe you and revive your complicity. This will then allow you to better find each other, once baby is lying down, to end the evening in each other’s arms.


#5 Keep in mind that all this is love above all!

In the end, what is needed is to keep confidence in yourself, in your love. You both wanted this baby, it must be a cement in your couple. And even if you have less desire for each other, that you just feel tired see annoyed, talk about it. Do not hesitate to confide in one another, without fear and without embarrassment. By discussing, everyone will be relieved to have been heard and understood and this will ease tensions instantly.

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For each change it takes a time of adaptation. It is important to take the time necessary to get used to your new life so take it. Never lose sight of your relationship and the importance it has. Trust your feelings, what you are experiencing is full of love and happiness, it just takes a little time to find your marks.

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