Hurtful phrases not to say as a couple
A couple experiences ups and downs, disagreements, disputes, tensions, it’s normal. But when we are angry, words can exceed our thinking and because of this, although we do not really think them, some sentences can hurt and hurt the other. So we must not forget, during these moments when negative emotions take over, that in a romantic relationship, we seek respect. It is therefore necessary to think carefully before speaking during an argument. Words have enormous power, both for the person who expresses them and for the person to whom they are addressed.
Even the smallest sentences should not be underestimated. It is therefore necessary to know how to choose them conscientiously during your arguments or your simple conversations, because certain expressions can hurt your partner. Indeed, each syllable has the potential to do a lot of damage. And this verbal power is all the stronger in a couple where feelings are present and therefore emotions exacerbated during an argument. So here are the hurtful phrases not to say as a couple.
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What are the hurtful phrases not to say as a couple?
Within any relationship, and especially within the couple, there are disputes. To lead them in the right direction, it is necessary to apply a useful concept to all aspects of life: to take the best care of communication and, of course, to avoid sentences that can hurt.
The 6 hurtful standard phrases to avoid
You have probably already used some of them, and it did not bring anything good or constructive during your exchange, on the contrary. There are indeed certain expressions to avoid at all costs in a relationship so as not to weaken the couple’s bond by emotionally hurting their partner. Reading these sentences that can hurt is important so as not to reproduce a destructive pattern within the couple.
1/ “Sorry but…” »
Apologizing by saying “but” does not help to build trust, credibility or privacy. On the contrary, it drags the discussion towards reproach and opposition.
2/ “Oh yes? But if you… » (Hurtful phrases not to say as a couple)
Reversing the situation against your partner can lead to an even stronger argument. This can pose a threat to the connection established in the couple and even break it.
3/ “You (shout/complain/get upset/look for problems…) all the time”
This sentence opens the door to endless discussion and will give your partner the feeling of being attacked. Being permanently reproached can only aggravate the situation.
4/ “You are the same as…” »
Pointing out the similarities between your partner and someone he or she doesn’t like is a dangerous way to criticize. Compare it to an ex, his mother or father with whom there are tensions, a friend who has disappointed you, in short any person with whom there are grievances is very unwelcome.
5/ “I don’t know why I’m with you” (Hurtful phrases not to say as a couple)
If you are brave enough to express this, then you should also have the courage to leave immediately. Be consistent with what you say. This is the kind of phrase that is not allowed to be uttered within a couple. It is cynical, contemptuous and totally disrespectful.
6/ “My ex would never have done that”
Requiring your current partner to behave the same as your ex is an immature attitude that can have serious consequences. Do not do what you would not like to be done to you. Ditto for words. Do not say murderous phrases that you would not stand and that are not worthy of your couple.
Hurtful sentences or verbal micro-aggressions
Micro-aggressions reflect concealed psychological violence, as the latter consists of small indirect verbal attacks. These attacks are exchanged on a daily basis and become a habit, so much so that they end up being part of the couple’s routine, to the detriment of everyone’s personal esteem.
These are acts of abuse that leave no physical traces. We don’t realize it until our relationship reaches a point of no return. This is a concrete form of manipulation.
For example, phrases that can hurt include sarcasm such as “not a single day goes by without you bringing me bad news” or “let me do it, you’re a disaster”, which are detrimental. And all the more so if there are also added “And if I tell you that, it’s because I love you”.
These words give rise to situations that occur daily and that are confused with signs of affection, but that destabilize the affected person and are in fact only taking control and manipulation technique.
How to avoid hurtful sentences within the couple? (Hurtful phrases not to say as a couple)
Arguing is an art but does not mean fighting. The way in which one is spoken has a great influence on the scale of the conflict. Empathy, respect and humility are the values to avoid negative situations. While, as we have seen, some sentences should be avoided, others may, on the contrary, steer the discussion in the right direction in order to find a way out of the dispute.
“You are right in what you say”
This sentence is an opportunity to reach a point of agreement. This is not a sign of weakness, you have to know how to admit your wrongs and question yourself when necessary.
“I feel (like that) when you say that”
Starting with this confession allows to give rise to an opening to confess feelings and strengthen bonds of trust. Thus, your partner can also express his feelings freely.
“I’m sorry if it bothers you. Tell me exactly how you feel and that way I could understand you better… »
Losing the habit of assuming or trying to guess what your partner’s feelings or emotions are is a great thing. We must not think in his place but give him the place to express himself, that is all the nuance.
“Why don’t we try to support each other?”
This approach invites both partners to put an end to a dispute in a positive way. Having gentle gestures as well as intonations, giving priority to physical contact as well as an understanding attitude, makes it possible to defuse the conflict intelligently.
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