Do not try to Change your Partner
Can’t you stand him leaving his junk all the time? Are you always waiting for her for hours? Are you trying to do something about it? Forget it: you cannot change the other. But what do you do with minor irritations?
It always starts with you
It may sound a bit strange, but problems you have in your relationship with the other often stem from yourself. That is often the place where you first have to look for a solution, before trying to change the other.
Never forget that in a relationship you are dealing with two individuals who each have a different upbringing, background, values and norms. While you may have a lot in common, there are always things that you will not agree on.
Is your way better?
Do not try to Change your Partner
To begin with, ask yourself whether your way of working (for example, you always clean up properly) is necessarily better. Are there any benefits to his way of life? Maybe you can change something about your thinking so that you can live with it?
Do not try to Change your Partner
Of course, that does not mean that you should not make agreements together. If things get out of hand, he can also do his best to clean up a bit more.
Be extremely clear, open and honest in whatever you want from Him
If you would like to change something in the behavior of the other, it helps to be clear about what you want. You can calmly explain that you would like him to tidy up his stuff behind his butt, because that way you feel more comfortable in the house. That’s a better way than trying to enforce it.
If he has indicated that he will pay more attention to this, let it go and try to trust that he will do his best. Let the other person prove that it can be done differently, without you constantly paying attention.
Does not it work? Then accept it
You just can’t change some things just like that. Certain qualities are ‘in the nature of the animal’ and you will have to learn to accept them . You shouldn’t keep pushing, but try to accept certain things.
You’re just neat, and he’s a mess. So what? Try to teach him a number of things that limit the misery (such as dirty laundry in the laundry basket). Remember that the other person will also have to learn to accept your ‘unpleasant’ qualities. Be happy that you are different!
Change your thinking, do what you can do
As mentioned, change of the other often starts with yourself. It’s about the way you deal with the irritations, and whether you see it as irritation. You can calmly indicate what is bothering you and hope for change.
But most of it is between your ears. Events have no meaning until you assign them to them. So, in that regard, you can change your partner in a way!
Do not try to Change your Partner
