Platonic love, this expression that we all know, seems to define the beginnings of the discovery of love, the first emotions. It is often used to define the flirts of adolescence. This period conducive to the first feelings of love, often at the adolescent love at first sight, but where physical desire does not yet have its place. We hold hands, we kiss each other. We say as a couple, these are the codes, but without going any further right away. The first flirts are therefore a good definition of platonic love.
But not only that. Indeed some couples make the choice to live their love as well, without considering physical pleasure as essential of their love story. Is this possible? How can we really define platonic love today? Platonic love: what is it and can we be happy about it?
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Platonic love: what is it and can we be happy about it?
Where does the expression “platonic love” come from?
Platonic love comes, wrongly, from the name of the Greek philosopher Plato because of an extension of his theory exposed in the Banquet. Pausanias, a guest at the banquet, misinterpret it, adding a confusion between platonic love and non-carnal vision of love.
It is therefore necessary to avoid the amalgam according to which platonic love agrees with Platonic philosophy. This definition is a derivative that appeared long after, more out of chastity and fear of divine punishment than out of philosophical love developed by Plato.
If it is, originally, a philosophical conception of romantic relationships,this conception of love was not really put forward until the sixteenth century, in the Renaissance by the humanist philosopher Florentine Marsile Ficin.
It is a vision of love that would be “the most poetic and powerful of loves”. It would oppose the “vulgar” love, intended for the reproduction of the human species.
Today, when we evoke platonic love, we speak of a chastelove, devoid of any bodily relationship and therefore of absence of carnal desire. It is a love that is rather intellectual, tender, emotional.
Concretely, on a daily basis, what does it look like? Why do some couples make this life choice and especially are they happy? Isn’t it ultimately only friendship, a loving friendship?
The basics of platonic love
#1 A choice first
In traditional relationships, when the man and the woman discover each other intimately, there can be pressures that weigh on the couple. When a couple makes the choice to live a platonic love, they give up intimate relationships. It focuses on the feeling of love, pure and simple. For them, it is a way to put an end to the complications that can sometimes cause the decline or absence of desire in the couple. They think that this love is more caring and tender and that enjoyment is not only physical.
#2 A love without complexes
Platonic love is tenderness, attention, gestures and sweetness mainly. This is what the romantic relationship is nourished by. There are therefore no physical complexes on either side because there is no intimate discovery of the body. No expectations related to the relationship so intimacy is different and not related to enjoyment, without any stress of a judgment.
#3 The definition of desire in platonic love
Of course, platonic also does not mean that one cannot touch oneself. Rather, it is about kisses and caresses and carnal desire does not play a role on feelings. Love is not associated with desire, which is therefore fulfilled otherwise. We love our partner especially for his soul and not for his body shell. It is, in fact, a more “spiritual” love, which can be reminiscent of karmic love or the idea of the existence of soul mates.
#4 An assumed and reciprocal choice
Deciding to live a platonic love is not a choice that we take alone. It is a life choice that is made by two people otherwise the relationship will not be able to work. Indeed, this bond makes give up the physical desire which is, in general, one of the fundamental elements of a romantic relationship. But not for everyone. Indeed, some people are convinced that physical desire is not exciting, that it is not essential. To live a platonic love serenely, it is necessary that this desire is shared so that it is fully assumed. If this is not the case, one of the two will inevitably be frustrated and not fulfilled.
Can we be happy with platonic love?
Above all, it must be remembered that each couple has its definition of love and its way to feel fulfilled and happy. What works for one couple will not work for another, and vice versa.
However, based on the majority of cases, intimacy in a couple is important, even essential for its harmony. But platonic love is not just about the notion of physical abstinence. Some basics can be very useful to make a romantic relationship last. We sometimes forget in a relationship to take the time to discover the other, who he really is.
The advantages of platonic love: the feeling of love is central to it
There are all these little love attentions that make such beautiful proofs of love and that, alas, sometimes sorely lack in a classic couple relationship. We tend to think that if physical desire is present, everything is fine… We therefore often forget the basics of love such as tenderness, affection and the little touches that are so important.
Platonic love has its advantages but for it to last, the couple must be on the same wavelength. The lack of desire must be shared, and not suffered by one of the partners. If one of the two feels frustrated he will go back into a relationship with physical relationships. But if this choice is assumed and reciprocal, it can indeed last. This relationship can have a future and be quite fulfilling for both people.
It also sometimes happens that a couple living a platonic love takes the step of the intimate relationship. At that time, soit love remains as strong as it is extinguished because it fed on a fantasy. But in most cases, it corresponds to a moment of life. A moment when you don’t feel desire. Where we are more attentive to the feelings and harmony of two souls than carnal pleasure. Indeed, few couples live all their lives in this way, without intimate relationships.
The most important thing, in the end, is to be on the same wavelength as your partner, regardless of the romantic relationship chosen. In love, there are no exact rules or definitions, just a consensual sharing between two people who live this love in their own way.
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