Should I end my relationship or not?
There is no relationship that does not come up at a given moment: is it wise to end my relationship or not.
In every relationship there comes a moment when you suddenly start thinking more consciously about your relationship. You have been together for a long time and suddenly you see the less pleasant sides of your partner.
Suddenly you see those typical character traits that suddenly irritate you. It can be scary when you realize that. Fueled by the Hollywood romance, you’ve been expecting you to be together all along. Maybe you also thought you would stay together forever.
But unfortunately you are an illusion poorer and it all looks much more gloomy. Or so it seems.
What you may not realize is that those less pleasant sides have always been there. However, due to the feelings of love from the beginning, you were not open to it all this time.
Now you are apparently faced with the reality that your partner is not at all as perfect as you thought. It seems increasingly difficult to tolerate all his or her courses.
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You wonder, “What happened? How come I have these doubts and wonder if I should end my relationship or if there are still opportunities”
Well, there could be several reasons that led you to this question.
Let’s take a closer look:
Cause 1 Introduced changes in your relationship
The reason that you now doubt your partner, that you wonder whether you should decide or not, is often due to the fact that there is growth in personal development. It is possible that you have experienced a growth spurt in that area or that your partner has grown and that you have stood still.
Nothing is as changeable as a person. Where 2 people live together, there is always change. Certainly nowadays, a flexible open attitude towards these changes is important to be able to grow in the relationship together with your partner.
If you or your partner can’t keep up with the changes that have gradually evolved over the years you were together, you will have to deal with relentless difficulties.
Big Question to be answered: Should I end my relationship or not?
Cause # 2: You’ve gotten into a rut
Cause # 3: Lack of emotional intimacy
Lack of emotional intimacy can make you wonder whether to stay with your partner or not.
Intimacy arises because both partners communicate personal information, thoughts and feelings to each other and respond adequately – open, sensitive, not dismissive – to each other.
The ability to do so depends on a person’s attachment style. In addition, it is useful to determine to what extent you yourself are emotionally dependent on your partner or not.
Think about how you are in your relationship. As you read the following descriptions of attachment styles, find out which one applies the most to you:
I feel comfortable in a close, intimate relationship. If I care a lot about someone or if someone else cares about me a lot, I experience it as very pleasant and it doesn’t get me tense. I feel safe in the relationship and can open myself up to my partner. I am not afraid of being abandoned
I feel comfortable without too much intimacy in my relationship. It is very important to me that I feel independent. I prefer not to be dependent on others, nor on my partner and vice versa I do not like it when my partner depends on me
I prefer to have as much emotional intimacy as possible in my relationship. However, I notice that my partner is reluctant when I get close. So I want a close relationship, but I sometimes worry if my partner thinks I’m just as important as I do him / her.
I am not comfortable in a close intimate relationship, but I do want to be emotionally close with my partner. Still, I find it difficult to fully trust my partner or be dependent on him / her. I’m afraid of getting hurt when I get emotionally close to my partner
Cause 4: The balance is out of your relationship
The reason you doubt whether it is better to break up or not may also be due to the fact that the balance has disappeared from your relationship.
When there are imbalances, you feel that you either have less to bring into the relationship or that you get less out of it than your partner does. You may feel that you sacrifice a lot more than your partner does, and you find yourself much nicer and more attractive than your partner.
We call this the importance of reciprocity: you feel that the ratio between investment in your relationship and its return is unfavorable for you.
If that is the case, then it makes sense that you have negative feelings. The reverse can actually also be the case: you feel that your partner puts more effort into the relationship than you. It makes you feel guilty and lonely.
The latter is more common in men than in women. Women tend to be more important to the other, which makes them less concerned about giving more. Women like to offer support rather than receive.
In the early stages of the love relationship, reciprocity plays a major role. After all, you don’t want a partner who treats you unfairly, so be careful with whom you start a relationship.
Once you’ve made a commitment, the balance between give and take plays a much smaller role. Only when problems arise in the relationship do you keep track of whether you are getting enough in return for what you invest in the relationship.
Cause 5: There is a lack of physical intimacy
Of course it is important that you are sexually attracted. Yet it appears that a healthy sexual relationship does not guarantee a happy and lasting relationship. You can have a perfect sexual relationship with someone without any feelings of love.
lack of physical intimacy
The reverse is also possible: you and your partner have little sex, or maybe the sex has completely gone to waste. That does not necessarily mean that you cannot be happy together. However, a happy emotional relationship can lead to a healthy and happy sexual relationship.
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