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What is the secret of couples that last?

At a time when couples break up as quickly as they do, when the break-up seems to be part of most romantic relationships, it feels good to see that love is always there, that it persists, that it lasts. What is the secret of couples that last? Testimony of a couple in love for 20 years.

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What is the secret of couples that last? Testimony of a couple in love for 20 years

“Do we have a secret? No, I do not think so. A magic potion, a love prelitter that would explain that we are still together after 20 years? Still in love and most of the time, happy?

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Sorry to disappoint you, but if there is a secret of couples that last, we found it in spite of ourselves.

And it’s not as difficult as you think. To hear, to read, to see the relationships of today, it seems that the very expression “love story” no longer means anything. And that’s a shame. Yes, it’s a shame to miss such a great chance to be happy together. Because love is a gift and the couple a chance, an opportunity for happiness, not a burden, a trap, a constraint.

So yes, to love is also to make compromises, it is to accept the defects of the other, it is to know how to question oneself, to learn patience. But it is also and above all having the chance to share, to project, to love and to be loved.

Why don’t couples last today? Out of fear, out of routine, or selfishness? Looking forward to it?

Of course, we are not going to lie to you, it has not always been a long quiet river without current or eddies. It has not always been pink as they say, passionate or romantic, without worries.

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There have been ups and downs, arguments, shouts, even crises.

Bursts of voices to shake the walls, silences fraught with reproaches, tears carrying rage and sadness. Disagreements, misunderstandings, distance, tensions.

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A fed up with the routine, the daily grind that eats, a boredom sometimes, doubts, a drop in desire, the flame that flickers.

Yes, there have been all this, words that carry away, silences that move away, tears that frustrate. And there are and there will still be days with and days without. It’s normal, it makes part of the game, of love, of life.

What is the secret of couples that last?

But above all there are smiles and bursts of laughter, complicit glances, gestures of tenderness, sweet words, kisses to lose breath, projects full of head, memories more and more numerous every day.

And it is for all this, despite the lows but thanks to the highs, that we are still here. together. A two. United, linked, united. Sincere, in love.

Oh, probably not passionate as on the first day, but passion reinvents itself and love remains.

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We are always benevolent, concerned about the happiness of the other. Continuing to advance on the same path of life even if it has sometimes been tortuous. Our strength surely lies in this acceptance that not everything can be perfect. We know that, we recognize it.

 But that doesn’t take anything away from our commitment, from our relationship, from love.

This sincerity of the heart and this desire to lead a happy life for oneself and for the other, with the other, break down the obstacles. Not always without difficulty. But recognizing the difficulty, overcoming things together, questioning oneself and giving oneself the means to move forward, to continue together, it is our obvious one.

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And that’s what we’ve been doing for 20 years. This may be our “secret of couples that last”!

Are we an example to follow, a model? An ideal? We are being told this more and more often. Or on the contrary do we represent a vision of the couple and the obsolete love today? The love that lasts is no longer in tune with the times, it seems. Should we accept it, is it symptomatic of our current societies, of our consumption patterns?

Is this inevitable? No, and fortunately!

We chose to engage together, not to do like everyone else at the time. And even less to prove anything today. We are not trying to carry a banner, to represent anything. But that is a fact.

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We are one of those diehards, couples that last.

Neither out of defiance nor out of spite. But out of envy, out of choice, out of love.

It is often said that before, in the time of our parents and grandparents, couples stayed together out of obligation. Let us not separate ourselves by tradition, out of fear of the gaze of others, of what we will say about it. That women did not leave for lack of profession, of means, that they muzzled their desire for freedom. For fear of judgment. That we stayed together because we had committed ourselves to life in front of witnesses, that it was not “done”.

Some even say that love did not necessarily count, that feelings were optional. Whether they are there or not, whether they evaporate over the years or not, we had to stay.

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This is true for some couples, as it always is. Staying together out of habit, comfort, fear of the unknown, of the gaze of others, out of obligation, out of fear of loneliness. It will always exist.

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But what matters, isn’t it rather the happiness, the secret of the couples that last?

Those who go through the years together, who have made their love a strength to build a happy life for two?

That is what we are. Habits exist, so does routine. Disagreements and disputes as well. I grumble, he sulks. I run away from the conversation, she loses patience. So what? That’s not to say that it punctuates our days, that we don’t love ourselves. On the contrary. We know how to put things into perspective, know what is important or not, and dwell on what deserves to be remembered. And find each other.

It is said that we know what we lose, never what we gain. That you have to stop looking for someone better when you have found someone good.

Without playing with proverbs, without glorifying the couple at all costs, because after all, everyone does what he wants, there is still a huge part of truth in these words.

As we know, there will always be trials to go through. Life is made that way. But alone or as a couple, life has unpleasant surprises in store. Isn’t it better to be accompanied to face them? Yes it is true the couple can generate uncertainties and tensions. But isn’t it better to suffer from love to love better afterwards than to never feel anything?

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 Our secret of couples that last?

Take the time to get to know each other. Respect and love each other.

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And yes, if we took the time, quite simply? The time to look at each other, to tame each other, to discover each other, to get acquainted with each other. The time to see and look at each other, to talk to each other and confide in each other, to listen to each other and to hear each other, to console and let go, to support and to stimulate oneself?

Simply share? Take the time to feel, desire, love? Allow time for sensations, emotions, feelings to be born and hatch. To the love to settle down, really. »

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