Meet your in-laws for the first time
Meeting your in-laws for the first time is always a special moment. It is a source of stress to meet the parents of the person you love. To avoid anxiety for nothing or panicking, you simply have to stay yourself. Bet on the natural and politeness and voila. Meet your in-laws for the first time, how to score points?
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Meet your in-laws for the first time: A step in the couple
The first meeting with the in-laws is important, sometimes it can even be decisive for the rest of the relationship. Because even if you don’t play your life on this meeting and you’re not going to make your life with your in-laws, it’s always better to hear well with your in-laws. A good climate created from the outset is a source of cordial agreement over time.
There is always a moment when a romantic relationship takes an important step: the meeting with the parents of the chosen one of his heart. Our partner introduces us to his family circle and officially introduces us. Often around a family meal, such as Friday night dinner or Sunday lunch. To us the multitude of questions from parents, the jokes of siblings or the remarks of grandparents if they are also present.
This is an important step in a relationship, which can create stress in many. However, you must trust yourself, and for this not neglect the information previously entrusted by your partner.
Meet your in-laws for the first time: 8 ways to score points
A first meeting with the in-laws is somehow preparing. Obviously not as much as a first appointment, nor with as much pressure as a job interview.
But preparing for it allows you to feel comfortable and appreciated from the start. So how do you score points?
1/ Know them indirectly before the meeting
If you meet your in-laws, it is because it is normally at least a few weeks, or even a few months that you are in a relationship with their son or daughter. Also, you must have gleaned information about them or had discussions with your partner about your respective families.
Memorizing what you have learned is the best way to arrive on D-Day with the impression of not being totally in uncharted territory. What they do in life, what they like, anecdotes, privileged family ties between certain family members, their main character traits… so much data that will be useful for this first meeting.
2/ Take care of your appearance (Meet your in-laws for the first time)
If this first meeting is an informal moment, it is still your first official meeting with your in-laws. It is not a question of putting oneself on one’s thirty-one as for a wedding, but caring for one’s appearance is obviously the basis. The first impression must be good.
You are not told to arrive at the meal with a cocktail dress and heels or in a suit-tie, but with a proper outfit. That is to say, neat and not neglected: we avoid overwear, jeans with holes everywhere or skirts that are too short and plunging necklines.
However, opt for an outfit in which you are comfortable and especially yourself. You are not being asked to transform yourself. This is the main thing: with your favorite clothes, you will feel more comfortable and confident in front of your in-laws. And then your partner chose you for what you are so he must assume it in front of his parents, whether you are tattooed, colored hair, with a BCBG style, bohemian or on the contrary rock’n’roll. It is up to him to guide you and to you to know how to dose so as not to provoke for nothing.
3/ Be punctual
Adopt a correct attitude by first being on time at the appointment. It may seem obvious, but it will always have its small effect. Punctuality is a quality always appreciated by in-laws, especially if you are invited to eat. Your mother-in-law has surely spent time in the kitchen to prepare a good meal, so the minimum is to arrive at the appointed appointment time.
For this, anticipate what you will put on so as not to change your outfit ten times and thus take the risk of falling behind and therefore causing additional stress. And depending on the distance, traffic or means of transport to get there, plan your departure time with your partner to arrive at the agreed time.
4/ Meet your in-laws for the first time: Politeness and respect above all
Opt for the voouvoiement of politeness and wait for them to offer you to tutoyer them. It depends on the families, the links between your partner and his parents, how they are educated. Adapt to their way of doing things and therefore start with a you not distant, but polite and respectful. The tutorial will naturally arrive at their request if it should happen.
Respect also comes through language; don’t use sy words or phrases, don’t be too familiar in the way you speak. Tell yourself that you are not with friends, if you are comfortable, so much the better, but we do not let go of a scribbled joke from the outset.
Also be polite by offering help in the kitchen, setting the table if it is not yet set, helping to rid or bringing the coffee. In short, you are invited but do not behave as if you were a regular visitor to places like your granny’s or already in conquered territory. Sitting and not moving from your chair, not offering to help does not give a very positive image.
5/ Don’t over-do it
However, there is no need to play a role in front of the in-laws by doing too much. The above tips are those of proprieence, a good education and a certain savoir-vivre. But even if you do a service and participate in the meal, the important thing is obviously to remain natural.
Throw ideas of subjects, do not hesitate to make jokes (unless you really feel that parents are not great pranksters) and reveal your personality. Don’t overs it either, the conversation needs to be fluid. And don’t be embarrassed if a silence occurs in the middle of a conversation or if the beginning of the meeting is a little laborious: in-laws can also be shy.
Get to know them by observing their reactions and act accordingly. It is not a question of monopolizing all speech. It is also up to you to discover the family cocoon of your partner. Finally, if points of disagreement appear during the meal between your friend and his parents, stay out of the conversation.
6/ Bring a small gift (Meet your in-laws for the first time)
Meeting your in-laws for the first time is an opportunity to bring them a small gift! Unless they have expressly forbidden you to arrive with a present, do their pleasure with a beautiful box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers or a good bottle of wine; simple, classic but effective. No need to ruin yourself. It will show the respect you have for them, while making them happy.
If you have any doubts about the choice, your partner will be there to help you. Do not arrive empty-handed. They are not waiting for you on this, but it is a social convention that it is fashionable to respect especially if your parents are a little straddling good manners. As soon as you enter, you will already make a good impression on them. And then, your gift is a first topic of conversation all found with your hosts.
7/ Taste the dishes even if you don’t like it
Usually, meeting your in-laws for the first time happens over a meal. Don’t panic if it’s a dish you don’t like: just make the effort to taste. Categorically refusing to test would be frowned on by your in-laws. Ask for a small share, under the pretext of a small appetite or politely express that you do not usually like it. At least you will have shown that you have tried. Do not hesitate to brief your partner before the meeting by explaining the dishes that you really do not like, or if you have an intolerance or an allergy obviously.
8/ Don’t put yourself between him/her and his/her father
Last but not least, do not seek to interfere in the mother/son relationship, the most commonly decried or to a lesser extent father/daughter. The complicity or on the contrary the tensions of your partner with his or her parents is something that you must accept; then in the closet the little pinch of jealousy, useless and unwelcome or the desire to change everything into an encounter. It’s up to you to adapt and give time to time.
An example: if his mother makes a remark to him, do not fly to his aid by contradicting her. Gross mistake, by opposing yourself even unconsciously to her mother, you put herself on your back. The best thing to do is to stay away from their discussion.
Thanks to all these tips, you should have no problem scoring points in your first meeting with your in-laws and make it a pleasant moment.
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