Why routine in a couple is a great thing
Most people confuse routine and boredom as a couple! While the routine is totally normal and even a source of wealth within a couple, boredom weighs on the latter and locks him into a relationship devoid of fulfillment.
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The Routine, Queen of the Exceptional
As a child, the weeks were all a bit similar.
On Mondays and Tuesdays it was mom who brought me to school.
I liked it, after I kept its smell on my skin.
A smell of almond, hot, like frangipane. (Why routine in a couple is a great thing)
On Wednesdays I went to dance, I must have been eight years old, later it was tennis, then the gym, but it was always Wednesday. As if this day were attributed to sport in all the families of our village.
I found the same friends there, and it was really reassuring.
On Thursdays and Fridays it was dad who brought me to school because mom worked earlier, it was always the race, we arrived late, my panties were put upside down and my socks were often mismatched.
But in the end I liked these two days rock n roll.
Like my dad.
And Saturday was always Papy and Mamy day. (Why routine in a couple is a great thing)
We went up to the mountain, for lunch, we always ate tomatoes because I loved it, with mozzarella for my little sister who would have been able to eat the whole box. Then chicken and potatoes and yogurt for dessert.
Then according to the weather and according to our age, we walked around, we watched a movie, we played cards.
But it sometimes happened, without warning, that on a Saturday the car did not take the road to the mountain and that mom and dad took us, by surprise, to walk by the sea.
Then we were going to eat an ice cream and go merry-go-round.
And one day I asked Dad “But why aren’t we going to eat ice cream to make you ride every Saturday, it’s so much too super cool!? »
He took me on his lap and I remember exactly what he said to me:
« For your ice would no longer have the same flavor of surprise, because the merry-go-round would become null, for you would know by heart the trees that line the path by the sea ».
The routine in the couple
I therefore use, without having asked him permission, this answer of Dad, to evoke a subject that unfortunately bothers and sometimes breaks many couples: The routine, the habits, the fear of boredom. You will give it whatever word you like.
First of all, you have to ask yourself: But what am I afraid of? Is it to lock myself into something that I don’t like? Is it bored?
If you answer yes, then it is not the routine you are afraid of, but a pattern of life that does not suit you.
A routine, is beneficial in a couple when we have found the right matches, when we know that on Tuesday evening our darling sees his friends and that we can make a TV sofa in an old bathrobe without owing anything to anyone.
It is thanks to these little habits, to this cozy schedule where everything is certainly organized but in the end never the same because no day, nor any hour is the same, that the exceptional can happen.
Going out every night, testing a new bar every Saturday, having sex every day on every floor of your building, what’s the point?
You would then make the exceptional a routine and it would inevitably end up boring you. There would be no way out of the routine since the “exceptional moment” card would already be worn to the bone.
There’s no magic recipe for a “super routine that works for everyone,” no. (Why routine in a couple is a great thing)
Each couple is different and therefore everyone must find his organization where he feels good and reassured.
A cozy square meadow it will be able to sprinkle here and there moments a little magical, a little softer, a little more passionate.
This routine is built with time and in communication and especially with naturalness.
It must not be imposed, if it is to be done, it will be done, sometimes with hazards and obligations, but life is made up of pleasant things and others less so.
Know how to look back, in your childhood, how you liked to know that Wednesday was dancing and not a different wacky thing every time. Humans naturally need reference points and familiarities to flourish because, let us not forget, we are animals and our primary function is to “reproduce ourselves, the survival of the species etc.” and we need security for this, this is what routine brings. So if your goal is to pose, to potentially reproduce and preserve the human species, then vote for the routine!
Like what.(Why routine in a couple is a great thing)
And then why wouldn’t you take the future savior of humanity on a Saturday to a surprise dinner with a stripping that will never look like that of the movies, on your way home?
He will tell you ” I didn’t expect it! »
And there, you will have won everything, especially since the next day you will be happy to find the TV and its shoulder as a pillow.
If the word routine confuses you, or frightens you, use the word “ritual” instead, it has that spiritual and less connoted side, which often pleases.
Find your rituals, those that will be the barriers to procrastination, those that will finally allow you (or not) to try to eat balanced, those that will make you sleep better, those that will reassure you and especially those that will allow unusual moments to be really fabulous.
In the end the rituals are exceptional and the routine is your girlfriend.
In a big summary.
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