bad reasons to stay in a relationship
We can say that the divorce rate is increasing, I can assure you through the daily messages of readers and even by looking at my entourage, that there are countless couples who stay together while they no longer share anything. Today we will see the wrong reasons to stay in a relationship.
It’s sad but some things are scary. The first: the fear of regretting. Because when you make this kind of decision, you do not do it lightly, you have to be firm and definitive. And courage is not always the first quality of many people.
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Also, many studies show that fear or anger can be a form of bond that would make two people stay together. Anger can unite a couple, as crazy as it may seem.
8 bad reasons to stay in a relationship
So today we are going to look at the wrong reasons that a couple stays together even though they no longer share anything, no longer love each other.
Bad reasons to stay in a relationship #1: Money
Some couples do not have enough pay to be able to separate. This is terrible because material comfort can actually lock people up in a golden prison. Some feel materially trapped. Indeed, after a separation, you must be able to assume financial responsibility: buy furniture, find housing, pay a divorce
Other couples could afford it but the financial change still blocks them. They are too attached to their material comfort and the idea of having to “swing money out the window” stops them net.
Staying together as a couple for the money is a very bad decision. You will accumulate frustrations and resent the one who wins the most because you will end up considering him as your jailer.
Bad reasons to stay in a relationship #2: Change
When you separate, it gives rise to many changes. Change of apartment, pace of life, social status… If you have children, it’s even worse (we’ll see later).
Change is scary. No one likes this type of movement in life. Especially those who have had a long life together. After 30 years of marriage, divorce hurts too much. To imagine rebuilding one’s life at the age of 50, 60, 70 is too painful. So the couple stays together.
It’s terrible because you can see couples literally destroying themselves but staying together because they don’t have the courage to start their lives all over again. However, there is no age and life has many surprises in store for us!
Bad reasons to stay in a relationship #3: Children
Two things. The first is that you do not have children, but you are of age. The biological clock is ticking and you tell yourself that if you leave it, you will struggle to find someone and waste more time before having children. Already, good news: Women who give birth after 30 years would live longer. But above all, frankly, do you want to have children with a man with whom it is already wrong before having any? A child is not a cure. The arrival of babies will not make things any better. On the contrary, you risk raising your children in a toxic climate of parental tensions.
Another possibility: you have children and you don’t want them to lose their balance. You are wrong to stay in a couple for your children. Indeed, you risk making them live a real nightmare because they will be present during your arguments. And, even without disputes, they will feel the climate of tension that reigns and that, for their balance it is really not good!
Children need to see their parents happy and fulfilled. If you are no longer in a relationship, they will not be able to be fulfilled themselves.
Bad reasons to stay in a #4 couple: The fear of not finding better
This is one of the worst reasons to stay together! You have been together for a long time, you know it by heart and you know its flaws well. Besides, you can’t stand them anymore. Yet, when the time comes to make the decision of the breakup you tell yourself that maybe, it is not so bad finally. And then, will I find better? I’ve aged, I don’t see myself starting from scratch.
error! On the one hand, you are also preventing your partner from rebuilding his life when it might be better to do so. On the other hand, there is an adage that you should repeat yourself and that says: “We should thank our ex because thanks to them we found better.” Remember that we rarely leave a person who makes us unhappy for an even worse situation! It’s almost unheard of!
Bad reasons to stay in a relationship #5: Fear of the eyes of others
And yes, the famous social pressure on celibacy! You are no longer happy in your relationship but at the same time, everyone knows your partner. Your friends, your family, your colleagues… And you’re really afraid of being subjected to this social pressure.
You don’t want to be complained about or asked 1000 questions: “Aaaahhh boonn? But yet with Jean-Jacques it seemed to go, oh well that then!” . You also don’t want the tongues to loosen on your state of love.
A tip: Really ignore the eyes of others! People like to talk about other people’s problems to hide their own or not think about them anymore. In truth, they will surely secretly jealous you for having had the courage to make a decision that many cannot make!
Bad reasons to stay in a #6 relationship: Guilt
This reason reminds me of Kunder’s magnificent novel: The Unbearable Lightness of Being. In this novel, Franz stays 20 with Marie-Claude because she once changed suicide if he left her. Emotional blackmail is one of the big reasons for a couple to stay together.
And what a horrible reason! There is nothing more selfish than emotional blackmail. Don’t stay with a person for fear of hurting them! That would be like saying that you stay with her out of compassion. And compassion is not love! It’s as if you stay with her out of pity and what’s worse?
Bad reasons to stay in a #7 couple: The common environment
You have been together for years and years and, of course, you have built everything together. So you have the same friends and you are very close to your respective families. So you are afraid, by separating, of losing your bearings.
If the separation goes well and you are able to stay on good terms, you have no worries! You will even be able to keep ties with your in-laws if you have forged strong ties with them. As for friends, if you lose some because of your separation, well I have one thing to tell you: they were not friends.
Bad reasons to stay in a couple #8: The fear of loneliness
Yet another great reason why many people stay together. Fear of loneliness occurs more in women than in men.
You don’t like it anymore but just the fact that you imagine living alone terrorizes you. This often means that you are in emotional dependence. You have built everything around your couple and you have forgotten to build your own life for yourself, just for you!
Well, maybe it’s time to get to know yourself as an individual and not you as a conjugal partner!
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